Trouble? Last Round? Possibility??

Dearly beloved, I Came from a STUPID "interview" that turned out to be an hour an a half long test with a computer that froze 3 times and a cattle call setting:  Thing the biggest dry erase board you can think off with At least 50 names and and and! some of them had comments ranking from the snarky to the undecipherable and then when I got there like 4 girls before me

I. Know


UGH!

Anywhoodle, before interview I went to the dr. cause I've had fucking breakthrough bleeding for almost an effing month sometimes heavy, sometimes not, THANKS GOD FOR INSTEADS!!( i couldn't be me without the option, to... you know have sex ) the best is that this Nurse there is Colombian and HEARTS the shit out of me so she was like  "come thru the back, I'm giving you a higher dosage different pills, If it works call me and I'll call the pharmacy for you " .. how about these shits are chewable minty flavored like fucking Tic Tacs... look If i'm using tic tacs cut in half as BC I'm going to fucking be SHITPISSED!... Lucky me that I'm totally into money shots!....Maybe that was too much and I shouldn't be so damned crass

Alrighty then MUCH to discuss, or not really much, just a very major development... or a merry go round as it were

OM

Yeah... That dude ... *sigh* this is not even tired this is beyond tired but also I'm getting some new twists in ,  So then ... you know he texted me for the 24th ( interesting how he remembered that I celebrate that Not GringosXmas, more so cause again this dude is dead set  against that, more than me) so  Like Sunday

He starts with his typical Low stakes Ha-Ha Crappy Bullshit:

OM: Not Nice you  completely Blocked me apparently from seeing your profile :) 

Me: Why would you care about that, I'm sure you've moved on to something better than me

OM: Well, doesn't get better than you

Me: Right, that's why in a couple of months I get the cold shoulder, you already found some younger skinnier better in bed than me piece of ass and she is enjoying you talents, so how about you don't need to see my profile to jack one off to when you had the real thing at your disposal before and you  fucked it up

OM: You got mad when I was in Boston, I let you time to cool off, I guess that's not going to happen ( This is typical so I was composing my rage response then I saw THIS non typical, let guard down shit)  I miss you and think about you all the time, sorry my actions didn't show it better

Me: You just don't get it OM.. this is about how you act when things are fine and chilled between us, is like time to avoid calls act as though I'm bothering you if I text you on some short shit, plain not wanting to hang out when you aren't ultra busy working only for me to see you online ll the fucking time.. that shit is not just mean, is also hurtful

OM: I understand, it never was what you think, i should have turned my profile off I was not looking for anyone and I never was seeing anyone since i started seeing you ( This is the first time this fucko has acknowledge this shit is and has been a problem)

Me: And it  takes this sort of shit for you to be straight with me, I've been cool to you, no pressure, I've asked you this to your face, and you have acted as though I don't deserve a real explanation, real communication from you or like we don't have a real connection... I'm not asking you for marriage, a complication or nothing more than steadiness and niceness, I'm the kind of chick you talk to, you get to be honest with me. I don't want you to weasel your way into my life and heart again just to act funny with me in a couple of months. I like you so you either give this shit a real fucking shot, if you are going to, if you want to next year or just leave me the fuck alone, go on messing with the next young piece of ass, Don't even answer Now, think about it whatever, just be honest Give me that Much

OM: I miss you very much, in my life .. as a person and as a lover

Me: I miss you too but we are going to be here in two more months or whenever you get in your mood, Like I said we've been at this for a year... Either WE are shutting sex  profiles down, fuck and hang with each other, see how it goes or just PLEASE, just leave me alone

OM: I'll cancel it right now, no hesitation


!!!! this was new?! few minutes later

OM: you can check on it, here is the password, is turned off now, next system update it'll be gone

Me: I'm in bed, I'll do that tomorrow but i sincerely hope you can step up and be honest  and open with me shit between us never had to be hard or a seesaw... you need to talk to me more

Om; I agree, i can do better

So then He asked me Monday if I wanted to go to dinner, i said No cause i already had the Principal coming over BUT accepted for tusday.. dinner, just to talk  ... that Monday  things with the Principal went Crazy... This guy acted like a Cuntrag!!!//!??!?! why you ask?>? cause he got lost coming the wrong way, Now If you know ANYTHING about me I DO NOT have a good sense of directions So i WON"T BE THE ONE getting you out of that and I warn guys about this.... well i tell him to stop where he was at 15 mins from me But this guy was RANTING and RAVING like a lunatic  Like real life yelling, threatening me to go back to miami i said...uh.... Go!

Then he found his way but started whining that he had golf in the am, that he wanted to come early for that , that I was Not as good as him at this FFM thing cause why wont i use my gfs? why can't i find him a chick?? ( WTF?? am I a lesbian or bi?? Um NO)  why couldn't she touch me i was Like: LOOK asshole you can come over now and we have fun, you can FIND whomever YOU would like to fuck and invite me over so I can have fun with you But I have ZERO reason and or motivation to be doing your legwork  for fuck's sake I do NOT like women!

But then after that when he got here he was super good in bed, dom, and unfailingly polite after I was so sorta pissy I dropped the bomb that I might just go relocate to jacksonville and shit, he then was super like whinny and hugging me and such. The next day, strangely ( or cause he knows he acted like a dumb cock ..I mean you guys like screamy extra difficult shit)  asked me how was he last night did I like my master still and then yesterday even he said Brian wanted to play with me again, again JUST to service me... I'm so funky and I'm such a bitch I acted like uhhmmmmmmnnnhhhhhhgggg  who knows ....



Now then Tuesday:  I get there and he is so...unromantic and not super affectionate ( he is OM after all, and i'm me LOL) we act like we saw each other yesterday and things ended a wee wee bit awkward. So the door is open he tells me to come in, I go in and I go crazy for the dogs.. I turn around and there is this Fucking Zales bag

!!!!!!

And when i open it a necklace on white gold with a pendant , swirly black and white tiny diamonds and Matching earrings........





Is not just that is like ridiculously expensive, a crazy thing to do Or that Is The ONLY sort of things i'd wear, you know anything Big I consider tacky on me, you know I don't like costumey stuff or things you have to take off/on cause I'm going to lose it , you know i don't even wear golden things cause i don't Love them on me


I was Like .. floored.... stunned shocked... I was like Jesus.. man.. Thanks!.... I have nothing for you! OMG! (you know I'm as bad for this as he is) so we just hugged I gave him a quick peck with shaky hands and sort of sat there like oh Christ!Oh Christ!oh Christ then him, being him tells me: "Look here is all the paperwork, you can return for something better if you want, you go get it cleaned twice a year and if the stones go missing they will replace them" ..... all the while I'm still shaking and screaming in my head)but he was already asking me to help him take the puppies out and stuff and just talking ON AND ON about work He was a Chatterfucking box all the sudden (apparently, since October back when I told him to go away when he was in Boston, he's been in Florida about a total of 3-4 weeks all together, yeah he showed me the pics and travel log crap, his pictures of the different places and facilities he worked in, Boston, Oakland and San Fran) then we then went to dinner

And then talked some more like, about why I got mad, how he acts and how that shit comes across to me, cause in his mind it was just : Oh i'm working a lot, and Hey why doesn't she text me? ( cause of his short response shit) So on the advice of his cocksucking BFF Upon his inquiry of how are things between you and Q and OM's response that.. "well, She only answers to my texts.. but only if I text her?".. his friend then told him to go ahead and NOT communicate to see what would happen?!?!?! so His stupid ass decided to heed that shit and go without texting me to see how long it'd be before I texted him which is when he sent me that stupid Oh so you don't text me if I don't text you first?" when he was In Boston ... But I think now I can call him on that dumb shit of " oh if your friends Tell you to jump off a cliff would you do it?".... jerk off! I asked him to put himself in my position, like if I did that to him, all those things he does taking all those circumstances from MY end... How would he react....putting all those occurrences together?.

He didn't disagree and apologized for any hurt he could have caused me and for the fact that he does tend to be moody . I told i don't want him eternally apologizing and that his basic, rough dude no feelingtalky i understand and agree with, That shit would embarrass my own ass. He says i overthink him too much that he is happy, not looking for any ass and just a working dog and yes a pervert but that he should have for all intents and purposes deleted the profile or at least make it invisible cause that wasn't his intention to make it look like he was looking for ass to be had..... I told hm he could have SAID that from go and to continue being a pervert ( Only surprise surprise, he didn't Turn it off like I did.. I saw that when I checked..he deleted the whole thing) if he needs to but to fuck!ng let me know as I MIGHT like to watch him since, I'm a pervert myself, I asked him for better communication, he asked for more open ended texts if I'm to elicit a bigger response from him ( if his short answer texts at work bug me so much) and he says that the call thing is genuinely not in ill intent that he actually wants to know why wont I stay on the phone more than 20 minutes with him so.. I guess I can try to do that ( this is not the first guy to say I do that BTW , I don't mind with my girls or people that know me well But guys that Make me nervous or anyone that might point out my accent....that bothers me deeply and to the core) But he said he really likes me has no problem with me at all and that was rather hurty I didn't come in my shinny bike seeking him, assured me that either way I should know he would always want to help me be there for me ( That I don't do, you know if I say buh bye to a dude I don't have children with Is a wrap, I can get 18 new cock having friends next year, I do not need dudes I've been naked with and whose dicks I've suck acting like they are my bffs)

So that's the story.. then we sat home.. he watched sports and hugged me, I brushed the dogs..I got sleepy he asked me if I wanted to nap on his bed, i declined, I wanted to suck the chrome out of his.. ... but didn't and that whole

Us not wishing him well thing???

And I feel bad cause I'm a bad riddance wisher and boy did HE get it! The 25 y.o was
INSANE spoke broken English, is text stalking him and the texts are like...amazing like 20/ 30 texts a day INSANE texts and Insults, Like "YOUR Hair stinks, you have big ear, i never liked u" , one minute, "you are my proud cowboy from Indiana" the next and if you do not think and Calling this motherfucker that and ROASTING HIM about it... you don't know shit in life.. i mean he is showing me the texts and the crazy heauxs is texting to non responses while we are dining and shit ...A-Ma-Zing.. i mean ya'll she said LOVE after the SECOND time they hung out LOVE!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday we spent like the whole day together and took the dogs to the park, watched movies, he bought me a car adapter for my Zune and had late lunch at Cheddar's and bunch of trashy food at night talked and while we were at the park got told by his boss he needs to go to Newark for 2 weeks like, mid January.. he is bummed about it but he loves to be the depended on guy at work so *shrugs*

What will happen? where is this going? No Se Ya'll I just feel Like ... I don't think in years I've wanted/ liked anyone as much, i can't understand this shit, I don't get why I ask for him to be gone and out of my life and ice him and then spend AMPLE amount of times regretting it, feeling sad and then he comes back.... At least the shit is on the table, is all in the open, he knows what I expect and I know for the most part what he can do ...So if YOU Don't Know I'm the I don't know Boat Captain.. so take a damned Seat Ms.Passenger.. also full related aside, like, NO ONE ever in or out of my family ever has given me a xmas present like this ( xmas or otherwise) ... and thing is... It'd be easy to discount some gift crap like that in SoFl land of the vain an flashy except he isn't rich at ALL we go eat Taco Bell more often than not for dinner cause we like that mess a LOT anywhoo Both Binks and Gem said almost Unison, I found that funny: "Jesus Q This Guy REALLY speaks one language and is Gift Giving"

We don't know what's in the cards, at least i don't, I want to have some faith...maybe is stupid of me? I don't know...I would like it to work.....Mami was saying some shit about always wanting me to find someone and me being too hurt by Joel Vanilla Sex Mesa and David the beater ex husband but that i don;t deserve that and that maybe if i fully forgive them assholes I can allow myself permission to trust guys and learn to be patient... since this is Mami and all I hustled her off the phone and wet on my merry way... but maybe there us something to it who knows

You don't want to know how this went

Honestly  There were good points to this xmas bullshit and those good points had nothing to do with my family and that bullshit togetherness time, more with peripheral bullshit which also made this a horrific time to  be alone

Let's dive deep into it: I started Monday WEEPING openly like a bitch in my car, crying cause it all just dawned on me that I had two weeks working full time with some semblance of benefits (barely ... going into 20 hours as a contractor) and all the while My Boss, the asshole that don't pay me and the intern were leisurely taking some down time while I held the fort....I've been in a sad shitty mood since Sunday just generally not feeling well ... the fact that my boss won't lay me off all the while keeping an intern?? when I've been LOYAL to him for 4 almost 5 years, efficient, hung in there  ... basically I just exploded on the phone to my sister on the drive to work, additionally i'm slowlyyyyyyy getting sick so I actually got to sit in the car for a few trying to collect myself, i wanted to also punch my sister for throwing some god bullshit on me and telling me how "I'm not alone" when we KNOW good and well how my family acts when anything deeper than a car ride is needed from them... so PLEASE I am alone! I am alone with my bills, my apartment loan modification to figure out and my dog to take care but really that's about it

Then I was texting the girls and honestly I was just feeling groddy, assy and such so all day it was like a fucking leaky faucet... I also told the Munchkin that works back there with us ( the attorney that farts a  lot) what the deal was..... the next day I told the secretaries I'm close too, they were super supportive and nice and they told the ones I'm not so close to and that cunt receptionist I don't talk to, I also told the intern cause she is fucking TIRING me asking me what's wrong why do I seem sad/like I've been crying....I doubt HIGHLY , she didn't know this... I wanted her to leave me the fuck alone, I wanted to deck her if I'm real. They all have been very nice and sharing their struggles with me as well so as to... I guess not have me feel like shit? giving me tips and stuff, anyways all that.


Tuesday I had an amazing day in the end cause of this: The Principal started smut texting me early in the day .... and decided to tell me that I  was to come by tonight for his xxxmas gift to me... which ONLY involved My first full on Voyeur SECOND MMF action ever....Oh. Yes. my. Friends: Im sorry bite me if you think Sex is an opiate or bad substitution for the bullshit I'm going through ( or the bottle of vodka chilled in my fridge!) ... you know what?! let the man be a distraction! Let him use me like I use him and provide me with some fucking respite I'm over all the extra crap being lobbed my way so if I get my tires rotated two days a week by a crazy dominant dude and I happen to not be happy giddy or excited about anything else that's happening in my day to day life? : LET ME DO THAT, cause this shit is no joke.  I'm white Knuckling it through these holidays, time with my family, struggling not to get physically aggressive with some people, depressed, despondent, feeling fat stupid and unable to secure what I need the most with is some financial stability and home stability to where i'm not sure how i'm going to like make the leap to, say, february? at this rate? I don't also gotta be fucking celibate waiting for some bullshit prince charming which I don't believe in on TOP of being cranky overweight about to lose my job of almost five years so Ha fucking Ha!

Onwards then!: this guy tells me we are using his best friend but not to worry, that he will watch a bit and  ONLY ONLY ONLY eat my pussy On my command... OH woooooooooooowww yes please!!! and did he ever deliver!: First of all I get there and I'm not totally sure where his friend is cause I walked in and it was just Detention by his lonesome, delicious In some workout pants no shirt and he tells me that I better be ready to have fun tonight ad to be a good baby at following orders like he knows I can be: What? i told you he gives orders!!

So I'm siting in the couch opposite his by the fireplace ( yeah THAT again) and he tells me to come over to his couch and kiss him.............only I decide to crawl over, very slowly (of course, I would, he of course wildly approved of that) he starts making out with me and I start going down and such but then he picks me up sits me at the edge of the couch and covers my eyes with a scarf.... and lays me flat on the floor and while feeding me his cock and what have you tells me I gotta call "Brian" over to come eat my pussy: Oh my God Like THAT

If you think I didn't and I didn't get my business handled for a good half hour or so before I had to beg BEG Detention to handle me YOU ARE WRONG (oh P.S Brian is ...better that Detention at that so Fuck yeah!, yay me, a dom and an avid Pussy eater??) : First of all BFF Brian ONLY ate me, didn't get his clothes off at all, I couldn't much touch him other than to wrap around my legs on him... cause Uh.. Detention was Forcing me in place...*shudders*  and OMG Detention is all telling him: " haven't i been bragging about the taste of that pussy Brian?"/ "mmHmm"/ "Didn't i tell you she is WILD when she comes? Look at that?"  AARRRGGHHHH it was FANTASTIC! And when I wanted Detention he was in full master mode ( I cannot tell you what was said i know cause I ran it by Karrie and Tai and I could feel them fainting over the phone)  AND Brian Sat In the couch watching us.. I could see him a bit under my blindfold.. supreme hotness... when i was done bucking and trashing and such  I put forth a request for Detention to ..um... finish on um.. me anywhoo so he moves me to the couch ... only for Brian to get Right under me and proceed to service me the whole time until we both have an earthshaking orgasm.....Brian then kisses my cheek super nice says it was incredibly nice to meet me and my pussy , Im so wiped out that I wave in his general direction and collapse on the floor!

After that Detention provided me with some water, towels gets me up super sweet and then we sit there lollygagging about his trip what he did all day and my job, he is a cool sound board, always asking engaging questions and then after it was all said and done we sort of touched upon the fact i MIGHT want to go ahead and partake of a mff thing with him cause he just wants to do me while someone else handles his lower half and truth be told he totally proved me that is doable, being in the room with the same sex and not touch or play with and such (cause on the Kinsey This here bitch is probably 150% hetero, I only want Friend-girls), I think his security on his masculinity turned me on and *shrug* at the end of the day he isn't my husband or anything so the emotional investment is just perfect for this. I told him to go ahead and find a chick he liked  if he wanted to though cause i wouldn't do that, but either that or we can go to the sex club together as a couple, thing is  that's on the table and that's more some guys have gotten me to but as we also sot of talked about: is the Dynamics which are so different, first of all we are not equals, he definitely is the dominant, and I eat that up and all that older dude energy?? So Damned Hot So amazing, he certainly is working a wholee team worth of awesome.  That was so hot that I actually woke up at 5 am to play some more on that... Total Gold standard fuck files.

The next day Of course I was tired But i also decided that we (aka Me and Team Q) would go to work together and that would cheer me the fuck up to round up a nice xmas present for self

and it really was, everyone was nice to him and lovely and get this: Spike wanted NOTHING to do with the Intern which was Nuts cause she was being ultra mushy with him and stuff


so this is what he did all day

and after that we just wet home to chill together some more until it was time for me to go buy xmas presents for the gift exchange...yyyeeeaahh THAT gift exchange where Mami IS my secret santa  *eyeroll* Just great. Good thing Binks came with me so I could Not have to pick it and actually give her lumps of coal, we also tried on dresses and I saw some great imitation brown-enough-for-me Brian Atwood-sy flesh colored  shoes but I'm being good and I only spent the money I was supposed to for the exchange and nothing more

The next day Back to work, Boss  came back, actually they all did and I barely had ANYTHING to tell them I did ask for weds and Thursday off without making any excuses, I was sick as a dog and The Colombian crazy Christian kept mumbling loudly that it was a sin not to let me go home: Not Only did he pay me Then, he let me go at 3 I also arranged to have an interview with another law firm on Thursday BUT real talk I'm kinda concerned cause this is one of those things where they are going to test this and that and they even mentioned some sort of Psych evaluation and  um as is I'm pretty fucking crazy on the regular, I might chart off the deep end at this particular point in my life.. but THERE we go!

That Night we also did nails and cut a minicake for Neeners Bday
 


and Mami unceremoniously gave me an unopened Unused new something gift!!
 
No one is more shocked than me cause she actually aid : it smells like you.. and it did!

So The 24th (which is what we celebrate in my house) me, Binks, her husband and Tia Lusy all wake up siiiiiccckkk , spewing crap/ hoarse and such, YET me and Binks got platters to prepare for the night: Me a ton of Yellow rice, Bink a Plantain Pastelon filled with picadillo, we got to mami's at 2 or so and I napped while I waited for them  Then we got to cooking ( me and Binks alone) we thought for a second soon enough that would probably be solely our responsibility and shit *shudders*

Then I sent the girls some in progress pictures as I'm running the clock ( cause Honest to goodness I don't mind hanging with some of my family... not all of them not at once not with gifts and this sense of "MUSTS" attached to it, I don't enjoy holidays and that's about that) So there I am doing makeup on Mami, sending pics shooting the shit with girls when i get this text

"I Hope you have a merry Xmas and all is well with you "  OM


O Fucking M (I won't mention the part where I was Musing just the night before: I need to self journal and work through this shit, i need to pull myself of this depression but most importantly I need to stop giving a fuck, wondering , holding a smidge for about OM, I mean we ARE done but I'm NOT OVER it and that I need to be, that sick gutty feeling I got when I saw the 25 y.o pussy he is fucking I need to get over it )

Needless to say I became a blubbering mess, i fucked my hair up and essentially i was wiping away tears and makeup/ redoing/rinse and repeating: Thanks Jesus I have the friends I have because I got in the car after i dropped my sister off Locked myself in there sent some teary eyed texts a call from Tai  and a group "regrouping and shit talk call with gem and Karrie" they return me as whole as possible to the party and with strict instructions : Don't be an Impolite cunt if you don't want to be, we know how you feel about him so say thanks and determine how it goes from there

So Like an hour later or so I say a simple: "Thanks, same to you"

Shortly after he sends me I shit you not,pictures of the Doggies he keeps, with fucking Santa antlers, that's a moterfucking low blow cause he KNOWS I love those  (or any ) dogs, the message read: Corey and Red wish Spike a good one too


WE ARE NOT FUCKING DOING THIS TONIGHT!, I"M FUCKING NOT!! This was a fucking sordid mess I'm Not getting dragged into this just as I'm begging the universe to help me be done WHY is he doing this to me ? isn't he happy fucking some skinny little ass?? why is he hitting me up he believes in Xmas 100% even less than I do, he is home alone eating pizza baby sitting some dogs, why me, why not call his piece of ass and stop ruining the fucking hole he left here already He fucking ruined a perfectly good thing between him and I ( sex, companionship.. which in the end is why I suspect he hit me up, bad fart and poop jokes, days on end naked, no talk of anything remotely compromisy) and only came back to ruin a perfectly bad holiday season


So what Do i do? 50 Millions and at least 4 full cups of vodka and random Juice ( i'm becoming an alcoholic on my free time too) I text: Yeah, cute

He fucking replies back that he is going to have them pulling in a sleigh

I tell this shit to Gem, called La for a bit and shut the phone up to drink more and refuse to text him anything else again Gem warns me that This is going to be one of those things where I'm going to need to fortify myself all the way to Chinese New Year cause this coward cocksucker is going to hang on to every excuse to text me since he can't man up and just be happy with me NOR say he missed me, to apologize something ..... But should he hit me up again i'm going to pop off the mouth like the person that I am ( A Bitch with absolutely nothing at all left to lose) I'm going to ask him: What are you trying to do here? why hit me up when I know You've certainly moved to some other pussy Why disrupt my shit when You know how i feel about your sorry incomplete stupid broken ass? why?why? Why Fucking why what for !??


Anywhoodle I got to fake smile some then when i was drunk enough As a surprise ALL of My Uncles danced with me, and my Creepy cousin who is an EXCELLENT merengue dancer ( OMG remind me to tell you of him more , I got a Post long worth of THAT nigglet) and It all started cause My Stepdad saw me all sitting with a drink in a corner and asked me to dance... he TOO is like EXCELLENT everyone complimented his dancing

 Then Nate Dogg and Neeners would NOT let me and my 6 inch heels sit down at all, all night asking me for a dance They had me and my tits bouncing up and down and picking them up asking me to do drops and lifts and whatever else It was brilliant, and eventually he asked me to "follow his lead" and everyone collapsed on the floor laughing at him

Me Uncle Handsome cleaned up the kitchen with the creepy cousin so Tia Lusy had no work to do and then we did the exchange , which strangely kept getting stuck BUT it was fun and upping the gift limit allowed for better gifts, so Tia Lusy Gave ME : a small bottle of Clinique's Even Better Serum which i was running out of and a Marshalls gift card so Pimp! everyone gave good gifts by and large ( Except My stupid ass brother in law who gave my grandfather a smutty deck of cards and My mom got so pissed that she threw them on the trash and then had a shouting match with Binks which I barely caught, cause i was too drunk, Over her stupid crazy husband, so my sister left pissed, and her husband went to kiss ass but mami would not have it) , and they all looked great, and Nate Dogg almost pissed himself with the emergency vehicles I bought him... he begged me to sit on the floor with him to play

 ,
PLEASE PLEASE expand this one  For your entertainment







I thought this was pretty much the end of this forced togetherness, I excused myself as fast as I could to, you know go home weep a little over this year, missing Papi (his birthday is in a few hours) , fucking OM, work my apartment etc, and to get up late


which I was well on my way to doing

ONLY THESE SPICS want to act like gringos and My Mother calls me at 10 tombout: "we gonna do Bronch"


I'm like : WTF? is that??

" You Know Not breakfast, Like Lonch"

Fuck ...Me

Then Eva picks the phone up to say, nah Q we are eating the leftovers

And at 12 i showed up with red rimmed eyes on black slept on eyeliner, all black and a bed mohawk from plopping in bed as I arrived last night...and had some beers with my pastelon and some salad to keep things green and all

On the way there, the intern texted me and I honestly was not in the mood for a rich size zero chick whose dad pays all her bills and who is essentially being kept while my hours get cut give me fucking coke and weed infused merriment when I don't want to really be around any of them... then my bro called me and got fucking paternal and bullshit christmassy with me about all the important people being alive and I told him to cut the bullshit cause to be honest I rather not be around and in case he is not aware my apartment hasn't been paid in two months, my car shuts down on red lights and I'm running on E in just about every regard, he tries to stammer something about JoshDavidDANIELwhateverthefuckhecallshimself Brother in law last night (cause mami told him) and he told me how much he HATED having him over for thanksgiving and they almost came to blows... That was Interesting... but he was going to make me blubber so I hung up pretty quickly, went in at Tia Lusy's where believe you me Uncle Handsome was sitting there taking a poll about Brother in law's dislikeability factor and how much off the charts offensive the gift was, the results: No One Likes Him but 2 people would Put up with him and I'm not one of those two


A Few minutes later Mami came, so did Binks they sort of talked more gifts for the kids, and her husband being an antisocial stupid prick self exiled himself to the yard, never mind he was not interacting with his own kids and their motorized bikes and as always me and binks where the only parents But he actually took a leisure nap in the hammock... Dick


And then Paulie threw me a bone, he said to call him whenever I wanted to unload but that if this all got to be too much to come up to Jax and move with him and start fresh.......That was sweet of him... IOKNOW though cause he has his family, his dynamics and i have not lived together with my siblings in quite a while, and you know how Binks Being here has been ...strange for me ....not to mention is super humiliating in like a million levels But good to know that option is there if needed be, right??


Then I came home and slept.. wake up to an EXCELLENT message from Detention all the way in Boston Telling me that I'm to prep my restrains and wait for him naked in my own bed Monday at 6:30 p.m: Only a sick so and so like me would consider that both sweet/ pick-me-up and uplifting, and just in time for the holidays


Also I'm thinking I'm going to have to blog myself Out of this depression before it really really disables me: I think I'm going to have to starting the new year Take One active Step Daily that I will do a short blog about.. be it a pic, an activity, a song, a positive thought, a god damned application, something anything at all  before I'm not on the next Seroquel commercial cause i cant even afford therapy to get me some awesomesauce antidepressants prescribed ( which Don't sleep, if I could?? I.WOULD.BE.THERE.TWICE.WEEK. RAIN.OR.SHINE)

Mistress of Escapism

So lets  give you another happy ish post to counter some of my regular bullshit , mostly cause i've had an amazeballs weekend:


NOT THE WEEK THO

Not the Part where I went on an interview and the bitch acted like yet again without my boss' say so I'm not hireable

Not the part where the bank says that to arrange ANYTHING towards my property for good 6 months or so

Not about how My boss gives me my juicy Xmas Bonus then proceeds to tell me that starting January he is going to downsize me from 40 hours a week to 20 at a rate of 15 bucks an hour but that he will raise me IF I make the whole 40 hours workweek ( IF we get busy) and if not he is going to put our feelers for people needing a part time assistant and I can ask in the building and that if I get something part time or better paid he will work with  me as well *SIGH* ask me how am i going to SUBSIST on 300 Bucks.. i don't give a shit to know nor have i figured it out , I have no plans, no ideas and i'm spending a LOT of time looking for shit BLEH!! Happy fucking holidays!... or about How Mami Being mommy dearest starts harping about my having to pay taxes as a contractor just adding to my horrible sense of i'm floundering and I'm never going to save money or get out of this hole or visit my daddy

Speaking of Cut Off My phone?? Started slowly fucking up... more on that in a bit

OR about how I found out via checking out the "girl competition" in that site That OM is fucking a 25 y.o just n the week i feel like a cow

No Instead we shall talk about how:




I'm not buttfuckingshitsorry depressed, just plain depressed so that's progress

OMG and THIS!!: i THINK WEEZY was Trying me Via Text  with some bullshit Hi Baby messages BEFORE my phone lost the sound... TMobile strangely said my phone was IN WARRANTY ( the one I wet 2 months ago!?!?.. NO we didnt share that) and UPGRADED me to an Optimus T and let me tell you something: THAT shit is the most best AMAZING THING: I'm Praying they don't charge me for it , I promptly returned my battered phone ... I'm sick with worry instead of properly enjoying this amazing genius of technology that the Optimus T is .. Seriously.. I can't rave enough It came preloaded with a bunch of shit, It's sleek, skinny, pretty, great camera, crazy apps, everything looks great and cause is tied to my google accounts EVERYTHING was there as soon as i signed on!

How someone gave me a Full beautiful glass bottle of Vodka and I'm currently drunk and have been so, since friday night


Or How Friday and wednesday the Principal AKA Detention has been delivering some really skevy, i can barely tell you about it cause is so wrong and raunchy Dirty Gross Sex.....BUT I will say these many code words For your enduring edification: Mutual Buttfucking, irrumatio, anal beads (for him), Vibrating plug (for me), sex By a Working fireplace in South Fucking Florida , new rug burns, bruises, lots of spitting, biting angry sex words, Master, slaps, collapsing in the floor in tears, practically, him coming to my place falling in love with that male whore Spicky, and then giving me seconds! and really my shoulders and back look savaged by a sexy animal( I've noticed Not a two rounder this one, but a guy in his 40s makes a bunch of other shit happen, included advice by the fireplace after sex.. he is good for conversation that one ... and so sick FIT that it makes me embarrassed of how little I've been gymming like I should ) NO Seriously any guy that is that much of a filthy dominant then turns it around like NOTHING just happened and acts extra sweet Is COOL As fuck in my book, he is going out of town this week but we are trying to do stuff before he leaves,  and i mean I consistently leave his house with my hair slicked back and just not done... Last week he asked me to wear my glasses.. the whole time....and Totally made me do evil evil things to him, while he threatened and such.... then he soiled my glasses after i practically begged him to please just finish cause um... I'm real good pacific and copacetic after an hour LIKE.THAT... um he is very ... servicing when he wants to but i like that he is an entrenched domme

And then after spending the day with my mom, sister, niece and nephew and doing a little shopping ( exactly 40 bucks, thrift store, sweaters)  i get the best Idea ever whilst drinking and say...



HI VEGAN!!!: Not only does he answer BUT gets here within the Hour ( yes If you are counting I've had sex 3 times this week, i haven't even touched upon the fact i'm biding my time cause I want a MMF thing for the longest time, but I want Bicurious guys .... and I think I've got them, minus some logistics... still feeling that OUT) ANYWHOODLE he comes over and immediately proceeds to Make out with me like he hasn't seen brown ass is a million years and is fussing with me, my hair ... all this before we hit the door to my apartment and HELLO! Then he too got his dominant stuff down pat.. this guy is not a talker but a doer ( Detention Is a Shit Talker Per Excellence!) not just a doer but until you do anal in some variation of the downward facing dog , just dont clown!, seriously i do believe is all that trippy dippy yoga he does and his lifestyle in general that makes him last so long ( he does this deep breaths thing when i'm on top then he grabs me too him and lets me ride my shit out, more calmly I normally would), Taste so good (i've said that before, even his sweat is ...like.. good?) and be so chilled out, like he is so nice inoffensive, knows how to come cool and correct and the guy is just...... he makes me laugh.. after sex he'll say some shit like : " I Bet it took a shit ton of Guavas to make this delicious Juice"  I Told him he sounds like a stoner 70% of the time.. i'm only awake now doing this  cause I'm obsessed with my new toys, new show and cause he crashed here, he is a cuddler and No can do so i got him up after an hour but then couldn't go back to sleep at two

Now about that new show?:             If I do/say NOTHING ELSE of relevance EVER you must MUST MUST get into this fucking amazing show... I'm fully obsessed, fully involved and fully in love with MISFITS... This show is EVERYTHING and I Think maybe what Heroes wanted to be but got stupid doing



Yes i'm In LOVE with that asshole Nathan and obsessed with how pretty and sarcastic he is  ( Truly stunning) and Simon  is extremely fucking creepy but i want him in that fuck sandwich too.. i mean he has my heart.. that voice.. yum yum yum...presciently enough.... ( and Jesus, Chav's Accent.. no i'm Not calling her Kelly or how much of a stunner Aisha is)

And cause I Love you

Episode Two

I mean is very character driven,  and not to ruin it for you but 6 episodes per season and  um season 2 episode 3... daaaammmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ....Tv here wouldn't get away with this  love the people looking skinny/curvy, different, normal-ish and The Music??? OMG My Zune is so In LOVE with the music!! samplers of Include


Unkle- Lonely Soul: after this i've gotten most of his discography and I'm just delighted


and


Kleerup feat. Lykke Li- Until we bleed: Love this song so much.. i've raved enough about her.. I had some old crap from him but this cd is GOLDEN

and This

The XX- Stars: This is just beautiful, and sorry but a show that pulls stuff like this can have my heart


So In summary:

You are going to email me about being obsessed with Misfits (like you better!!)

I have an AMAZING new phone and I'm officially drunk blogging at 3 am after sending The Vegan on home

I'm still the whore of Babylon But I have great motivation for it (.. like distract myself from the fact that I'm in Overdrive emergency regarding my house/work and I could give less than a shit about how bad or good it would turn out for me)and you could say an ok set of players at the moment

My family is still that BS, and YAY oh YaY  xmas           -________-   This shit and money expenditure needs to die ASAP is what

Job Interview

I had an Interview yesterday ... rather...was a dud First of all The guy was mad Initially rude assuming I was a smoker on the word of a chippy that hadn't even spoken to me only to not even apologize later, Instead have the girl call on some bullshit apology saying : "oh sorry cause believe it or not I spoke to someone with a very similar name to yours" Nigga PLEASE!!?!? Like. My. Name?? you see how uber ridiculous THAT sounded??!? ... I got the one Monday too ( with a lady that drinks and takes her pants off and such... trust me. total public record!) but that guy went crazy asking me dumb shit about well what if Boss Boss pays me more after he puts in an offer what if my xmas bonus is jeopardized, what if I am not comfortable taking the money who do I work with, would he let go someone else to make room for me I almost wanted to yell SIR! STFU ( very La- like!)  and let me worry about it!
 then I was kind of insulted that he said I had a sofia vergara accent (which not only ugh at that chick but double ugh at my accent being that nast) which he found "very cute" but that with an accent like that how come I didn't miss any of the 30 words in the spelling test ( maybe cause I'm not an idiot and cause spelling the words pretentious and obnoxious were kind of delicious irony )  Asshole... Randomly ever since my boss said that he is acting ultra extra different kiss assy/fun / inappropriate/ over the top ridiculous/ sweet- funny etc 

....anyways after that I went to get fake nails cause I'm tired of peeling stubs and it wouldn't have been so bad but I had to really cut them all off to the finger line 2 days ago and It was just bothering me... I don't want talons, i just want some pretty nails now and then you know ??? ( I think short nails can be chic and stuff I just don't want short, ridgey, almost to the quick short nails ALL the time.. which have to be painted in dark creme finishes to disguise them a bit)

And after that i went to meet with Binks and mami, who complained about how long am I  going to have to have short hair BUT surprised me with some old school favorite .. torrejas with hot chocolate, then told me Saturday if I'd like she'd make me the hallacas just for me and her and binks and the kids .... so is not super industrial assembly line but just about the only thing I wanted for xmas (besides a good head giver and a working vehicle and more money) .....Binks  I'm still sore at for that bail out before the interview ( she had been telling me that she was going to help me with mock Interviews and to pick the clothes I'd have to wear... the last 15 minutes before she comes... she pops off the mouth that I'd be better " For me to come to her" ... with two bags of clothing a sick arthritic whinny puppy

 

(This is him on winter coat garb.. it's been 37-40 and such here  IMMENSELY miserable for us)

 

 The moment he refused to walk for good ... but yes yes A Plaid Hoodie


which I'd have to HIDE to get into her house.... Bitch and Please!... no excuse offered, just because)  and the subsequent " Fine This is your xmas gift" Message when I didn't agree to her last minute demands...It was a Konad Manicure plates set that I've been eyeing... mostly cause I like to do funky stuff that that would be easy fun ( La thinks it was mostly for her own benefit) .but whatevs she offered to do my nails and mami's for a change: Results below

 

Mami found it to be the most amazing thing in her entire life.. she forced her husband to get up to See her pretty nails!

 

Also Mami checking out The Pirelli calendar and DROOLING over Baptiste Giabiconi as Apollo http://www.fashionising.com/pictures/p--Pirelli-calendar-2011-6008-123982.html

 more at that link

   

and asking over and over to " see that one again" ... Mess

Finally I went home and did the Rembrandt two hours bleach system
 
is more of a change in person but you get the idea



Annyyywwhhoo What else?:

 I can't wait for this fucking year to be done and over with.. i'm extra tired and over it What I AM extra pleased with is :  commenter leogoddess has just moved to like withing 10 minutes from me ... AWESOME we are gonna talk shit and hang soon

B) Detention is Threatening me a Lot: with biting choking and licking .. tomorrow.. and he calls me ... with get this: Orders

Is so random and marvelous and up my alley!

Raaaooowwwrrrr

Let me make you a fun Post cause.. I'm feeling somewhat fun and to offset the bad news I'm about to post:

Monday my boss told me that if business kept as slow as it's been he will have no recourse BUT to cut my hours: let's review this..... I currently am trying ( like 2 and 3 hours HOLD a Piece) to communicate with my bank and try to do some sort of loan modification ( BTW NOTHING has been resolved with that, cause if you can't talk to the bank.. how?), I make abysmally less than I should based on how long I've been working for my boss , this is not me being entitled this is everyone I tell how much I make, in my office and out giving me a hearty " Holy Shit!, HOW do you make ends meet!?", not that many benefits, no proper health insurance!

So you know my next step was to in a flurry of activity put my resume online and keep hustling, apply to everything  I hate changes, I hate doing this I love my boss and the fact we are both off each other's backs and have an easygoing relationship but fuck it what else could i do? I can't take a bigger paycut!! Like I even told him why don't you lay me off and then pay me whatever the lay ff wont cover.. but he hemmed and hawed saying this was not stuff he wanted to think about yet blah blah blah...meantime we have zero work to speak of but he still wants to keep this Intern around ( at almost as much as what he pays me, taking her out to lunch letting her blah on and on about the dudes she is wavering between and her coke/weed habit) and plotting a 4 people Utah Vacay complete with rental house, ski equipment, etc etc etc So there he is wasting time and money instead of tightening up the ship... all this to say I got a callback for a job around my house, another firm.. going for that appointment wednesday at 3.. I felt shitty going behind his back and asking for time off to go do this but what else was I supposed to do.. I'm in a fucking panic ... and he is being super extra nice all of the sudden acting like is not an emergency etc. I hope if nothing else that i get a new job offer AFTER I get my much needed xmas bonus.. cause I. NEED. IT! badly


Let's not talk about how long it took me to find interview suits both cause I  hate pants and suits and shopping and spending money on clothes... so yeah Binks made me buy some only it was like 10 petite and then the skirt was too short, ,girls nixed that so i had to go back out on my own, try shit on find collared shirts.. yeah, no fun trying on clothes has never been my idea of funtimes.... Binks was trying to coach me but she also had her In laws here, we gotta now put the actual clothes together down to the hosiery cause it's going to be a bit cold next week and we know Q and cold don't mix so so much!


Anyways Have you seen the blogs in OKTrends?? My God! all the data they've culled from those profiles etc.. is endlessly fascinating, super cool read actually i'm obsessed with the graphs and the actual pointers on pictures etc... and since I'm already online for my fuck buddies I should put some effort into my OkCupidding considering i have a profile there where I waste endless hours answering interesting questions and doing quizzes, shit just spending a few hours there netted me a nice little med student  just talking a bit and a french guy that was trying to charm me with a conversation that was hilarious something like this:

F: well I'm at work now in Brazil kind of bored

Q: why are you talking to me instead of exploring Brazil

F: I did this morning, but is boring alone, wanna come over?

Q: I would but I have work this week, so you know

F: maybe next time?

Q: sure, just tell me ahead of time

F: Ok i have a question, critical

Q: Critical even?! Well i'm O+

F: is your hair long or short now ( I had put some pics up finally, not many cause uh.. i don't have a lot)


Q: short, don't know if i' going to grow it back out ( me and Binks have been talking about how It seems I don't have a plan for it to grow and i keep cutting it off)

F: Nooooo.. I mean don't do that, to your hair ... you only look great with long hair

Q: UH!!! i'll take that as a vote of confidence.. and with short hair?

F: with short hair you looks stunning, like the Cute Goddess

Q: Rotflmao, so what are you going to do to remedy the situation?

F: what situation?

Q: the situation where you are not taking me out on that date

F: Oh, I plan on charming you until I can get there to take you out on that date

Q: oh ok, let the charming begin then

....See i'm a shameless flirtbag... so so so very wrong,but just being online seriously like 7 guys were on my jock for no reason.. interesting .. more shooting fish in a barrel things... what can i say? i don't like bars, I have being out in nipply weather, I don't club.. this works

Speaking of works and team building, Let me tell you about someone we shall call Detention ( I hate you Gemmybear) Picture him.. tall, abs, lean lanky, a little bit of gray, hairy arms, and legs... 40 ( What??? You know I have a daddy thing) and The piece of resistance! : A HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL...yep I know I know... if you don't think I made the joke about being a good girl YOU are sadly mistaken


So him and I have been volleying back and for on instant message and chatting, feeling him out, we decided for a quick meet up on Dave & Busters, halfway between me and him, just drinks and pick each others brains etc... I got there and Mmmmeeeeoooww he is hot but not in a young guy hot, more like a guy that's not super baby young but is weathered and TOIGHT! he can still wear young shit though cause he is lean , all about type a, work hard play hard type that Normally I'd hate but then his saving grace is that he is a homebody like me, like he said Oh Fridays are great cause all I do is come home to watch tv.. I go MEEE TOOO ( of course I'd trot out my lameness like a gift or a great personal quality) I told him I'm looking for a two times a week type of thing, he agreed, we talked about experiences and how long we'd been there, he told me about being recently single and the stuff he's been finding and I told him in passing about OM to illustrate communication is going to be big, no matter what with me, he agreed THAT'S about the time I made the joke about spanking and being good and such... He raised an eyebrow and before going to the bathroom said something about liking good girls.......WE HAVE A DOMINANT ONE!, PEOPLE!!!... he came back we talked some more and kissed me in front of the whole damned bar, something he said he was trying to do all night... at which point I had to ask him to go out to neck some more in the parking lot... we dutifully did that then got even hotter and heavier in the car.. we really had no plans to make things pop off that night but mid makeout session we decided Uhhhh we are spending part of Saturday together.. carnally.. heavily


And so we did friends!:

A) He lives by the nude beach

B) I kind of like how he declined to say he lives in some rarefied air area, nice..uh no! why do i stay finding guys like that?


C) He is extremely Dominant ( me=pig heaven)


D) He is Filthy.. like Disgusting,seriously we didn't make it past the living room for round one... nope we were rutting like animals on the carpet.. so my whole back is rugburned and my knees and elbows are skinned..... and this is perfect for me .. but outside of the fucking that he was really nice very gentlemanly which I liked ; i.e.: a nice home tour, he has a bunch of pets.. 2 doggies, a barracuda (like srly he showed me how he feeds it live fishies!) , fresh water fish, a cat, we took a nap together on the couch .. what? golf watching + after vigorous filthy sex acts = Q sleeps. then we were GOING TO nap in the bedroom.. only we ended up fucking some more on an actual bed like classy people that use choke holds and demand things from one another. Yeah we are going for a second round, this time him coming to me., we'll see lets hope he can hang



E) On a more thorough evaluation: he has much potential! for one he is very very dom,  for seconds an excellent kisser, for thirds he is very nice outside the sex... very unnice during the sex, for thirds  although his head game got going slowly ( think more of a weezy type of thing) after he got going!? BAM!. fourthly No condom issues: You know I actually run into grown men that act like this is not a must and have kicked folks out/ have put my clothes back on on guys over that... Fifth:  let me be frank... I never have seen someone that had that much.. um... ...Well... THIs dude Came a LOT... like volumewise? ... Oh My lord are you serious?? how do you make it do that? wtf ... that was wildly entertaining!

F) This part will give you life; he tells me an easier way to get home and I go like.. hmm that sounds familiar...: then I pass the light: IF THIS MOTHERFUCKER doesn't live A BLOCK away from weezy.... THAT Weezy!... You know i passed by there with a fucking smirk on my face ROTFLMAO Oh the justice to this whole thing!


But yeah today my sore, back burned ass is staying at home quietly, The walking Dead and all...plus i think I am about to get a cold so I need to keep that in check ...*yawn*


 This im loving this week!



Billie Holiday- Speak Low ( Bent remix) : trust me , download, let someone lick your body



Connie Francis- Siboney:  this version i fell in love with after that hot bitch of a movie "2046" but this song is like from when my daddy was a teen , my first memories of him are all fania, boleros, danzones tinged.. he'd play them for me to sleep