Good and bad: the tale of this weekend

Saturday & Sunday

Bad:

*My phone died on me


*I called J freaking the fuck out

*My index finger is swollen beyond belief...my mom only offered antibiotics... and to puncture it to drain it... I left practically screaming

*Lost phone receipts, while looking for them in the moving boxes, I see that the carpet in a piece of my closet is WET... soaking wet... like it could be my tub, wet......I FUCKING HATE THIS APARTMENT, yeah?

*Drunky wants to meet the dude, she forewarns me to "not worry about it....that she wont turn the mess up, and we should know ASAP if he is going to be a dick about trying my friends"... *sigh* I don't want to deal with this shit

*After freaking out on J, he locates my order, I get ready to call or contact Nokia but I gots no phone, he suggests for me to get a 20 bucks one while I resolve the issues, use my SIMS card, return it later... whatevs no, QQ doesn't like spending money but ain't no way I'm gonna be phoneless a whole week or so.

*Spike, projectile vomited on me... in my car... while driving... I could have fainted it was so fucking gross, he is fine now... my mom cleaned me up.... but then while I was napping on her place she FEBREEZED THE FUCK OUT OF ME!!! (who does that??, I was sleeping!!)

*Me, Drunky, my "date", her ex.... she is TOKED UP out of her mind, he is an alcoholic, and makes her look soberly-sweet by comparison...yo, He IS A DRUNK!

*Mr West and I link hands under the table, squeezing at random times, "best food in South Florida"? maybe, shittest service? DEFINITELY, me and old dude would have walked out BUT we were with two folk getting alternatively chummy with the bad waitress/bitchy, they complained to the manager to the point we had free Lemon Drops (and why didn't ANYONE tell me such a tasty treat existed??!??!)I got some Martinis under my belt, date had mojitos, Drunk and her ex polished MANY a martini, mess ya'll!! (ughh that dude does bring out the worse on her)

*We also go show my out of towner the Elbo Room... and whycome this chick just got NUTS , NUTS y'all... Dancing in the middle of the floor with any old Tom Dick and Jane that passed her by... I was regretting this but I also kept an eagle eye on date, cause I wanted to see the reaction, and cause I'm rancid and no it wasn't any sort of test but...y'all know how I feel about dudes and my chicks nowadays, to my credit I voiced nothing about that, and really there was nothing to be said, we did peel off of it as soon as we could... we had other things to do, like....


Good:


*T-mobile WILL replace my phone for free

*Ok, Mr. West came over, took me to do all the phone errands, and told me the leak on the floor might just be the apt next door!! (yay)....not before handing me a great quickie

* No I wore no undergarments Saturday

*The mood and the weather cooperated, we also went to the nude beach.. .but couldn't get in the water, BOOO!

*Then more sex was had

*Then the dinner with Drunky... which was enjoyable enough... good thing he didn't mind meeting that fool, I told him we'd talk about other things later (he has a habit of asking the why of a lot of things, such as my mom's and I relationship and why was I not trying to do the meet-up with Drunky)

*I took him to the adult store, we left with half the store! so many goodies(YYYYYYAAAYYYY.... I have a pet peeve, if guys can't handle going there without flipping out or being immature or whatever I'm going to have problems in the sack sooner rather than later)

*Goodies or no goodies we went home to have at each other some more, niiiiiccceee, very very very very nice

*On the way home he rubs my shoulders cause we were bickering about politics and how he thinks my liberal little butt could use all the republicanness he brings to the table and some such shit, like it'll make me a good little American and whatever else(ugh). I told him to go to church preach family values and get himself a good wife he could cheat on with a male escort while telling his kids to abstain and whatever else, he laughed told me that most repubes are pretty moderate... and that the part of my body he likes the most is my back and the bones of my shoulders, that I feel very little to him.... just like that out of the blue... But it's me we are talking about, rather than sit there stammering and looking at my hands, I say... "well you get brownie points for not picking the tits, legs, hardly-there-ass or the legs" (then I caught myself, I told him that really that was a nice thing to say... for a Republican)

*He thinks I was not listening, he woke up in the middle of the night to play with my hair and cover me again and open the door for pike-pike (water drinking puppy), he placed a glass of water by my side too and kept whispering that he loved me even though it was highly fucked up that he fell so soon..... I continue to play dumb about that...

*My mom was too cute today when I did her hair... she goes running to flip it on her hubby's face talking about: PAY ME ATTENTION!!! I'M THE WIFE, NOT THAT GAME!!

Esthero



Superheroes


With Godie Mob- The world I know (I like her solo version better)


My Torture (I heart this song and her voice live in spite of the shenanigans during the concert)

I HATE Myspace (Oh Thembi, I won this round!)

No, don't get me wrong I heart to stay in contact with my bro/my sis/my crunks/my girls from not here



BUT I hate this fuckery (and the ones giving out their phone number.... wtf do I want yo damned # for?? with your stupid Prepubescent looking ass in GA/Jacksonville/Washington D.C/ wherever the fuck):

Date:


Subject:

No Subject

Body:
Wow! I know you might hate me for this but you are fine as hell, I can’t even call you beautiful because that would only down grade you, you have the most sexy figure I’ve seen in a long time (BWAHAHAH I DONT HAVE ANY SHOTS THAT I HAVENT TAKEN MYSELF thus they are pretty much from the waist up AND clothed.... jackass), I can only imagine how those legs must feel incredible, those lips look so soft as well, I would make all your most deepest sexual desires come to pass if I hade a chance (SNORT!). I know I might sound like every other guy on here (No Shit Sherlock??!!) but I’m so serious it would be my pleasure just to make you cum as much as many times possible.
Well just for you lol. I would start of kissing your neck ever so soft moving slowly down your body while my hands are softly moving lower and lower rubbing those smooth sexy thighs kissing on juicy melons (BWAHAHAHAH He got THAT right, non???)my tong moving around your nipples like I was writing my life story with my tong in stead of a pen just to show you what its going to feel like when I get to that sweet nectar (BWHAHAHAHHAHAH I mean "tong", "Sweet Nectar", not to mention Writing... in saliva... his life story!!!). I’m getting so turned on by watching you moving your body as if I was all ready down their moaning while your pushing my head closer, I ‘m so ready you can feel my love stick (!!!!!!! I thought only fictional characters and fiddy cent referred to their genitalia in these terms!... maybe he is a fictional character?!)rubbing on your legs wonder is it to big I get down their you it seem like I haven’t eaten in days the way I was sucking, licking, pushing my tough in you like it was my love stick you cam all in my mouth I only stopped when you pushed my head away and then it was time for you to feel me inside of you as you were shaking. I can see that wet pussy betting like a heart as I put the head in. (I wish I could even make sense of that whole last part... but my brain just exploded)



BWAHAHAHAH this specimen just needs to write erotica for the illiterate, maybe even nigglature!

and for the record: Just Say No to Dating "Myspace dudes" (it's fine if you met them and add them later, not the other way around)

Let's restore my functions:


Massive Attack - Butterfly Caught


Radiohead- Reckoner (I just love that song so so much)



Feist- The Water (live)

Oh effing great! Now I feel like an asshole...and stuff

Hola Bitches!

so I had the crappiest Christmas eve to date! all cause my family wanted to "Celebrate" the day before cause they didn't want to be there today blah blah blah (if they ever do this stunt again I swear to God I'm going off to get drunk and date myself on the offended Holiday)

Anywhoo I get to my mom's after eating a stick of gum and cereal (she tells me to go there to wash my clothes if I wanted, I suggested maybe to spend the night with Spike)

I get there, my mami is sipping some wine...with sugar...in a house glass *sigh*

so I basically sat in her computer, downloaded my pictures into her computer and browsed the net, emailed some of ya'll, talked to Mr.West.

Bueno whatever, I really can't sleep in some places and mami's guest bedroom is one of them places, the couch is fine but not the guest bedroom, I ended being awake until way past 2 a.m. just tossing and turning, don't know why I was just ....ick

...and then I got my period... In a house with a menopausal woman....and I'm sorry ladies who love that shit and mommies and all ya'll but there is ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. I hate/despise/abhor more than having a period, I have a gazillion reasons but I'll give you a few to sample:

I FUCKING HATE pads/tampons/cramps/bloatedness/feening grease/the blood/the smell that I perceive my body to have at that time/ the cold sweats and the passing out I used to deal with before I adopted the pill...

I also DESPISE that I have to keep an eagle eye on Spike... he gets extra stupid trying to get to the bathroom and shit (nasty boy)

I also hate this during the Summers or any time there is beach weather cause THAT is where I want to be (The doc has given me the ok to go back to back on my pills so I straight take em and usually do a FEW periods during the year)

I don't even want kids so why I gots to go through this shit??? (is anyone getting me a Hysterectomy for Xmas??...OOOOHH imagine worry free sexy-sex!)

In short: BOO! period BOO!!!!!

Anywhoo so yeah I start getting the Xmas text messages, cool I send everyone my love and kisses and stuff and yeah the Master guy keeps on the IM but I never gave him the time of the day after our exploratory date so its whatever, Weezy finally got the message cause now the calls and texts have stopped, Model boy sends me a message (2nd one to ignore by my count), Mr West texts me about his day and the fact that we are both SO very Un-Christmassy... however he later emailed me we could do over xxxmas and do some very XXX gifts/breakfast in-bed whatever... then during dinner, a phone call (the "dudes" ringtone... Robi Draco Rosas- Dancing in the rain, btw)

MODEL BOY!!! (oh shit oh shit)

I mute it as soon as I can possibly do so, my mom looks up, saucily... She asks if it's "we-know-who"....I say no, now she wants to know more, she pulls me aside while I'm listening to the message...

"Hey Q, it's _________ just wanting to wish you a Merry Christmas and to tell you that I'm going there right after New Years eve and I hope to be able to see you then and hang out, maybe play some new mixes for ya"


I quickly explain to my mom that it was a couple of dates and I thought nothing since he LIVES in NY and we haven't even talk since before I went to Cali (Oh, the understatement of the century!)...but, yeah great now I feel like an asshole, seriously, he sounded so earnest

and he looks like this




*sigh*....


And anyways he was benched for a reason before he even called, something about how his EX girlfriend who he was very upfront about and told me he was friendly with...and who Drunky candidly describes as "looking like a Russian witch"(which again brings another rant: Men are not so evolved they don't keep friendly with exes with no kids or dog in the middle unless they want to continue fucking them or keeping tabs) ever since he moved and then one day decided to move me up ahead of "industry/modeling people in his myspace, the chickee was on some cheesy "leaving comments on his page alluding to how much I wuv you and I Miss you blah blah blah" (which leads me to men with ego issues...that's a leading cause of leading on ugly done-with bishes on, lol) and revamping her page to show old pictures of them BWAHAHAHAHHA basically her page is now a worship altar to him, it's hilarious...

But then the following ramblings go through my mind (and forgive the bluntness/ramblingness... I'm on my period!):

*UGHH I can't return that call and that makes me feel bad

*I also feel bad for denying myself, but why contact him if I'm technically sated, and I don't even want a whiff of any ex girlfriend sorta bullshit and I know that within an hour we'd be having sex if he does come around

*I am trying to... Aw shit I DON'T even know what is it that I'm trying to do with Mr. West...I rather not think too much about it but I'd feel evil if he was making a weekly 4 hour trip and putting in an effort if I wasn't going to try and meet him half the half-way

Anyways I think I feel bad ONLY cause I like him, ya know.. physically... cause truth be told us chicks never feel bad about telling ugly dudes or assholes that call us "Shawty" off, or never calling back the guy with the Miniteeth or that Hook-up that turned out horrid in non-club lighting...

and yet my regular old cold-black-hearted self thinks and says:

"Come on!! One does NOT have to KNOW bout the other"
"You are no one's girlfriend so technically you are free to do whom/whatever"
"You haven't had THE TALK"
"you should ride that once more to make sure you want to steady yourself to the other one"....

...you see the excuses I give myself????,however this one might be the MOST damaging of them all for me because it simply illustrates my complete lack of faith in men and in the process: "Do It cause you don't even know if Mr. West is even keeping his end of the bargain, for all you know he is doing his own damage out there... and anyways,most guys are assholes like that"(never mind that generalizations are horrid, that I KNOW rationally that he hasn't given me a reason to doubt...YET, that he is a straight republican in Key West and that he told me something too cute in passing that I shall not repeat just yet)

But that illustrates the damage that I've allowed myself to carry with me from previous relationships and my fucked-upness and my flawed view on men...I am trying to keep other men in the balance when shit-thoughts like that come to my mind, such as J who would never ever ever do something to hurt me, or my papi, who I worship or my uncle who loves all animals or ANYONE that I can think of that would wash the dirt of having a wife beating, dumb pothead, cheating, irresponsible ex husband in my past (who tells someone they cheated over the phone after months of shit and still expects to find them home??) and the sort of ex that now makes me reluctant to introduce ANY girlfriend of mine to a guy I'm with let alone the ones that already are out of control, like Drunky (and NOT because of them, one thing I trust is my vagina carrying friends...shit,if we spot a guy Drunky asks me out loud, you like? before she even says IF she likes!, an this is my most horny, irresponsible chick!)

Yeah yeah, I'm listening and taking in your opinions.... and Merry effing Christmas to you all too!

Anyways lets close off with Robi Draco Rosa since he is on my mind now and I love him (background: He used to be in Menudo with Ricky Martin, he rebelled, got kicked out... think of him as the talented version of that cheese ball, virtually the same voice too)


Dancing in the Rain... my ringtone for certain dudes...hmmm hmm hmm sex on a stick, perfect song to dress to before a date and I could bite that man's ear off)



Mas y mas and Madre Tierra medley


Cruzando Puertas (he does this one in English as well)

Romantic mess of a weekend and a snapshot of the week

...But let me start by saying my family ain't shit, they didn't want to stick around for Christmas eve, which is what we celebrate, and WHY did we have a full on dinner tonight???



and WHY oh WHY did my grammy give me...... Self Tanner, no? you don't believe??.. IT HAPPENED (I'll add the picture when blogger stops being bitchy)

I TOLD YOU YA'LL!!!! (God bless her heart for trying to give me something!)

and stealing a page from Jade's blog... Flowers a few days old




Yeah, so Mr. West and I been talking a lot and a lot and a lot... and he came over Friday in one of them rickety ass planes, Friday night instead of Saturday as previously planned and I could tell you all I had a F-U-N weekend, seriously, I cooked, I did my thing in and out the bedroom, I wore the red shoes (AAWWW), I took pictures, he caressed, touched, kissed, walked my dog, scratched my back until I fell asleep, coffee was made, and all that good stuff... we didn't get even UP until around 1 p.m. Saturday.

Also, we were talking about how I've lost a couple more pounds, minimal, but it's the holidays and I've not GAINED, I've lost two (so, 149 now!, lets see if I can stick it out) but even though I canceled the crap ass Ballys membership I do want to preserve the sexy, so he asked me if I wanted that seriously that he could help me out, tailor a program, help me tone up, OF COURSE I jumped at the chance, after all the man look like a professional meathead, has a hard ass, and for a dude that tall he is very very very nicely put together... so he starts by giving me the bad news of everything I dont need to eat anymore and all this other shit (before sweetly prefacing it by telling me I'm extremely sexy to him and that he wouldn't try to make me lose weight or curves, mostly tone up, whatevs)so he took me out on some set of mystery errands with his GPS and all this other shit, we had a lovely lunch, he went to GNC to buy protein stuff and dude things for his trip in S.C.....and why did he gift me a Gold's Gym membership for a year.... shut your mouth!, Now I gotta be all crazy about it... it's a nice gym we already went to work out there this morning...now my chest, arms and boobs H-U-R-T!

Ohh and Saturday I had the bestest date ever, you know why? cause the dork in my got sated, she who loves horror flicks, and cutting up shit in biology class gets taken to this!

http://www.bodiestheexhibition.com/intro.html

EXTREMELY AWESOME!

You know that I was giggly, happy, getting my face all up in there, and why did this dude give me a side look when listening that semen is made out of fructose and alkaline solution to neutralize the acidity of the vagina??.... fucking chump!(like I'm unclassy enough to say YUM! out loud or something? hmmph!)

Anyways it must have been the mojitos in me but um.... after that ...

...

We went to my office and had sex (WHAT?!! it was close!!!) I'm so mortified, on the couch where my boss naps no less... to add insult to injury... we took pictures, I have a feeling that I'm gonna get those tomorrow or something....man oh man It Was GREAT

But it's the little things that are nice, like when he gets up and gets me water or when he says that he likes the music that I made him, or kissing me while sweaty, or worse yet, seeing me without makeup and saying some ridiculousness about I fit really good and tiny next to him, that even Spike fits good, hmm that man is trying to make me like him between that and the finger compliment (and yeah I already googled him, got his D.L looked up and checked him in his county and a few others... THAT IS WHY I WORK WHERE I WORK BITCHES!!)

Good times were had by all, everything in my body just aches and hurts but I'm smiley...He will be back soon enough around the weekend on his way to or from (or both LOL) S.C and I'm actually looking forward to it

HILARIOUS P.S.: I kissed him good-bye... and this fool just blurts out: " ok, bye baby, miss me... I love you...(crickets)..I mean... I like you... I'd like to... love you... shit, I mean to.."


ME: "Uh...shut up and kiss me I know EXACTLY what you did and didn't say"

****************Half-hour later****************

ME(over the phone, no hey no hello, no nothing): "I'm NOT even counting that shit, that was crazy and booty and irresponsible of you LOL"

HIM: Take it whatever way you want, byyyyeeee!

Yeah... and I also got a digital camera from my ma, and a scent diffuser thing (I heart those), and makeup... my family doesn't do presents very well!

Oh and HE

aint happy

Confusion: ive been sidesweeped/the whore gotta be done by NYE

So this will be a confusing, rambling post, but lets see if I can organize myself:

Um, WEEZY and them lost miserably ya'll The whole team is going to shit all over Mr. West... he is throwing me off, OK?

****BACKGROUND:Dude lives four hours away but we met around here in one of those days I take myself out to a date, yeah, I wine me, dine me alone, get pretty, sometimes people watch sometimes sit in the bar, after an initial meeting a few weeks back where he deemed it necessary to come introduce himself (and yeah I was making out and macking just for fun eventually...See Mia!) fast forward to about 70kb+ of email later I said to myself FUCK IT I owe it to myself to have me some nice guy butt, so I told him to come over (mind you we had already talked about everything under the sun both by email and phone considering that he lives good 4 hours away... yeah the ex and all that deal)****

Let's just say that since Sunday afternoon to this morning I've been on a sex and gallantry and Issey Miyake cloudy haze.

This dude took me off balance and by surprise is all I can honestly say...as I previously said he is big, willing and able, and whatever else, so he came Sunday at my request and:

A) I've not gone by my given name since then

B) the despicable accent is sort of deal-able with

C) and good God I'm not impressionable but opening doors WITHOUT fail?? coming in and OUT of the car?, chair pulling? (I for one think is SAD I'm not used to this), FLOWERS?, back rubs, holding the purse cause its heavy?? walking the dog for me cause it's cold outside?, lunch and dinner dates?

D) the biggest con is that he is a REPUBLICAN (eww!! gross! conversely he makes up by NOT following sports, he straight walked out of a sports bar I had suggested to a nicer more intimate quiet place)... But he and I like the same music (in English anyways)

Trust ya'll I was having me the hell of a good time, my hair has looked like stir fried shit every day this week, I have the worse set of undereye circles (what??!! don't look at me like that if D is available overnight damned straight is gonna get used!!!!???). So yeah I'm fixing to be on some trouble with his ugly-hot muscular albino ape/bear self, It sounds weird but it works although I do find myself wanting to call him Odin or something equally Nordic... like Grendel!?? LOL(Yeah I called him that and nasty republican to his face... he didn't mind he does have practically have clear fur on his arms and legs... and I love me some hairy arms and legs ya'll , no lie)

Anyways he suggested to me on one of those outings that he'd like to come more often to Ft. Lauderdale

ME: well, its a free country

HIM: no silly I'd come more often if I had a reason for it, I mean I can drive but my friend does have a small plane and I could just as easy be dropped off and picked up, plus the executive airport is so close to you

ME:.... and... you want me to give you a reason for it?

HIM: hell yeah!

(Q mumbles and exits the room with the pretense of doing something)

But I'll have you all know that as admitedly nasty and mean as I am to people I plain old act the ultimate geisha when I'm with a dude and I like him, we are talking about good sex, good talk, I gotta make food while dancing, joint showers, heels, backrubs, etc I mean, I don't go all out with some of these other bastards, to the point I don't dress up or cook, or offer them to stay or talk about my family or friends BUT when I let someone in and I like them I'm very much aware that I'm a girly girl, that I want to satisfy, and make everything around me pretty and all extra and generally I become who I am with my friends... So I guess that's who was at work here, and truly is a charming dude so it's easy to like someone like that... I wont even get into what sort of sex can/was/will/did get had, I'll spare you the nasty but it was really really super good

HILARIOUSLY enough though, EVERY guy I've so much as kissed/ messed with this year called/email/texted yesterday, I promise, is all because I knew that when I got home I was due a talk about when/if I'd hang out with Mr. West again and I was kind of sort of wondering about that, we didn't talk about it during lunch, we sort of made out at the table, shared food and bought wrapping paper for me to help him wrap some presents for his niece and nephew... imagine, even married boy is back to sniffing ass (under the guise that he wants to talk and that "It is very difficult to talk to and live with a pregnant woman"... what a douche), but not just him, Weezy texted, The professional Master did too via email and then the coup de grace Model boy, he who is now to be known as Mr. benched team member (due to his ex girlfriend rank pulling antics and his relocation to NY) but nonetheless giver of good kinky sex and outstanding listener and talker and cuddler

hits me up on some : Hey Q how have you been, I'm back in Miami around New Years so horny for you

Classy non!??

For the record until 3 weeks ago I would have been on it, ok? I would have rode that pony and all that because he is FOINE (the crunkettes liked what they saw, Coco ordered himself two servings of some of that) but besides the ex-girlfriend little comments is getting obnoxious (if she only knew her boyfriend was screaming like his name was Marie and saying some obscene shit) and the distance I am officially acting like I never got the message I just got, mmk?!..for now anyways... although I feel bad because he sort of had made those plans with me, if "what are you doing for New Years when I come back to hang out with you" is plan-making

So anyways last night it finally gets to that and basically he told me to sit back and now for sure that he'd be making a serious play for it and that I was more than welcomed to join him in South Carolina for the holidays and that he understands I got a shitload of issues but he also understands that he is falling for me and that If I'd give it a fair chance he'll wait until I'm done with my issues... then he joke that either we'll voluntarily be together at some point in time OR he is putting FOX news on my tv... in all channels

I was just sort of taken aback but not really but I asked if he understood what he is asking from himself and from me and if he understands that I date... A LOT and about how, in turn, I'm not expecting a single hot male living 4 hours away from me to stay any sort of faithful to such a notion. He then told me to go ahead and do me and if I needed to get the whore out by NYE and continue dating to go ahead or do whatever, but that he is planning on making a big old effort, that he wants me to visit and go do things with him like jet-skying and boating and whatever else so to figure it out and figure myself out and come up with something nice to tell the other dudes when I ditch them, that he knows I'm a nice girl, way too talented in many areas and the hell of a cook and a dancer to boot so he is coming to regret being alone without a mother for his dogs, so his plan is to break me down (OMG Spike is a fucking sell out, bitch wouldn't come to me but, boy, if anytime this dude would call him the fucker wouldn't just jump as high as you please and actually obey and sit and stop barking and shit?)

Soooo I gots a lot to think about I think, cause seriously he is nice(and we like nice dudes) and there was a cute sort of comfort level going on.. maybe if I take it extra slow? maybe?



This has been the soundtrack of this weekend (yummy!)


Tricky- Overcome



Morcheeba- Blindfold



Where Is My Mind? (Pixies cover) by Yoav


Tricky - Evolution Revolution Love


P.S: yeah, He is coming back Saturday

Whoa!

The following stuff is sort of happening-as-we-speak and is just going through my mind:

So believe you me (and this is a surprise considering who you are all reading about), Weezy has been extra-super-special as of late and why has he just insisted upon seeing me TONIGHT and I straight up made a BS excuse, is not that I can't go, is not that I don't want some, its not that he is not A-Ok in that department... my ass just denied itself some good peen... he ASKED to come, HE, that surly mean ass wheezing bastard and I acted like "Oh but I gotta wake up too early to be dealing with stuff"

But being as devious as I am I told him that I was sure this could be made up some other time...

....Which in and of itself is dubious for moi cause one of my "four hours away" friendly-friends is straight gunning for some serious shit, the e-flirtations are divine and the fool keeps blowing up my phone, he is down here quite frequently and has enough dogs (5) to melt the cold black lump of coal in my chest cavity ...ever just so (you all know what sort of Die Michael Vick, DIE, gun-ho animal lover QQ is).... and oh wait 6'3 muscular, sexy, successful... he needs to stop proposing but I already warned him about my level of tolerance for that sort of shit, he is cool peoples though and he is NOT about to make my drive-hating ass drive, delicious!, I mean, really, sorry-sorry proud Weezy is going to have to pull some miraculous last minute Hail Mary type of shit if he intends to get me to play this weekend considering that Mr. West simply told me:"While you are at work I'll simply close the business and drive up there to meet you up for dinner and possibly shoe-shopping when you get off from work." WOOOT!!

I nixed the shoe shopping but that's only cause I'm EXTREMELY skittish and funky about receiving gifts, especially from guys, especially right away....even from my family, Only my sister, and J know how to shop for me to the point I am either surprised or ecstatic or screaming with delight, or it fits or is imaginative enough, oh! and the time that our friend L gave me "the Historian", that was great even if he kidnapped my book for a while and then J had to rescue it!

But other examples of great gifts given by these two include:

-A card for more storage for my phone
-An extra cord for my Ipod when my asshole ex wanted to take EVERYTHING
-Cute shirts
-A "Tina come get your ham" shirt
-Books
-Kids toys (what??!)
- A Hawaiian shirt for Spikey Michael
-Handmade cards (trust, those are THE best, rude, offensive, adorable)
-And something sweet like how this week J offered me a preemptive "I love you in case your day is going shitty" (That stuff does make my day!!)

hmmmm so we'll see what happens this weekend but I'm going to bench Workaholic for a minute (y'all know he likes to just show out and be extra grand on the weekends). Notice I'm nice enough to try and give Weezy yet another chance to make a play, that's only cause I'm sweet and he is official-ish (yeah I'm evil AND greedy, Bite me!)

But anyways speaking of other shit, there are only two people I want to get presents or make something special for this Christmas, no, make that 4 because one is family and about the only one that has been real shit this year, the other one is outstanding even when he puts up a detached exterior, the other I have a soft soft spot for (and she's had a shitful year) and the last one is my BFF forever+ infinity and beyond (and when we need to move to an assisted living facility we'll be roommates)

Moving on with the topic.... Is it wrong to use men for sex??, truly, I don't want their money or their over precious b.s or phone games and I'm dead seriously honest when I tell them I'm dating, HEAVILY, I just want em available when I need them, that's it??? (I'm only asking cause somehow some other bitches be acting as though there is something wrong with me for not wanting to snag me one ASAP..... and you know how men act when you don't want it like that, straight start acting like girls in search of marriage)

BOO! I'm still sick , J say I should invest on Purell, Lysol and a Plastic Bubble I'm notorious for getting sick for monnntttthhhhsss; so I was coughing so loud and so much that MommyJeans (which is also known by David@ work as "the Rabid Chihuahua" or "Intensity"... essentially she IS all of the above, she is extra-extra when you ask her for a favor, she stares at you like she drank coffee all day long and she has 80 style mommy jeans came from the front of the office all the way to the back to give me Halls cause she was distressed about this messy cough AND I also got my boss coughing, maybe he shouldn't have had me come to the office so damned soon.

Bossy-boss (and I call him that to his face as well as bitch ass) is leaving next week so I'll be on my own, watching porn at work and generally doing nothing

***********HA I just got another text message, and no it wasn't Weezy... these boys need to stop!*************

Anywhoo

so I was also thinking that I MUST pick up the slack on the exercising BUT that Thanks God the stuff hasn't gone down south and I really haven't gained shit this Holiday season... stress is one HELL of a diet non??

****** Another text, LOL: I haven't been sleeping well for 3 nights thanks to you, but I'm loving it******** (Goodness G!!! the man hasn't even seen the sensuous yet!!! I think Weezy is losing as we speak)

Onwards, my niece and my daddy are having back to back birthdays, I wish I had them close, shit I wish I was in Venezuela cause the Holidays here are pitiful (still after all these years here NOTHING beats Vennies doing up a holiday like they need to die of food poisoning, alcohol intoxication, overdancing or like it's their job to not touch a bed until 9 am the next day)

Anyways let me go to sleep or something, guys are going to have to stop or my cell will have to be put on silent mode in a minute!


Besides the drums I played a while back, this is what we play in Christmas

Weekend afterburn

Hola Hotnesses!!

So


Let's see First of all I finally got myself settled in since my Jesusland trip (meaning that my clothes are clean,put away and I got some groceries) BUT

Now I can't even go to bed before 2 am... it's driving me nuts!, I've slept so effing little this whole weekend.

Saturday, Workaholic came and the excuse this time was that he wanted to "welcome me back" and oh sure, check that my roof wasn't leaky (since we've established he has a construction company blah blah blah) and he was bringing brunch items... and sure he'd make out with me and what have you while he was there, he is nice, that one but then I keep saying that, don't I??, anyways we had us a good go round this time, I thought my sensuous was broken ... again (don't I stay thinking that with him?), Good times where had by all, and he is falling in love with my dog, which is funny cause initially I had the feeling that he didn't quite feel comfy around The Pike (but that dog is mad fresh so he'd sit on his lap anyways and demand a rub... one day I'll tape him doing that shit for you all) and yet Saturday He brought him up to bed and kept telling me he'd love a dog if he had the time and asked me what did I do with him when I was in Cali etc, etc etc

Oh and you know how stupid shit stays happening to me in that apartment, well now the fridge is going (I need a new one) as is the trash disposal... when old dude (my mom's friend) told me that I basically broke the fuck down on him on Sunday morning at 9 am and told him I have no money to be sparing on no used fridge or whatever the hell, after I told him the story of the apartment, he agreed to come after work today to take the garbage disposal out, put regular plumbing and he promised to find out about a fridge that he thinks I could get for very little or no money, he told me that he feels bad for me and that my mom is a good friend of his; J says "he feels bad for me in his pants"....classy, as far as J and our other acquaintance, the King of Santo Domingo, is concerned I should get my tits' money's worth and generally I dont use my female powers as often as they'd like, actually the KoSD told us once ever so classily that had he been born with my equipment the good Lord might as well had made him with a mattress attachment on his back cause that's how he'd live... but I digress, we'll see how this whole thing works

Hmmph... and Weezy wouldn't effing let me sleep, firstly it never fails that any time me and lovable ass Drunky (who is BTW trying to move out this next couple of weeks) talks to me about this whole "guys" issue, he NEVER fails to call and text, I told her to stop calling that boy into my life and loins since he is still her favorite (she maintains that even in his assholery Weezy likes me, and so does Model Boy and so does Workaholic, she just chalks up the ensuing bs games to my reticence to be even passingly trusting of them, HA!). Anyways, after talking to her I try to nap and surely enough I get a:

"hey Gorgeous, how are you doing"

...from Weezy, now I can't sleep anymore and actually reply back with:

"gorgeous?? who?... are you sure this isn't a mass text??" (yeah I'm rancid)

he kept thinly asking what was I doing and where was I and shit of the sort until I finally had to get up and out of bed (he plain old wanted me to say, yeah I'm horny come on over or I'll go see you... only I wasn't THAT hungry and the most he got out of me was: "so how are you... no wait let me guess in front of the tv watching football?")

So finally he comes out and says it that "we should have made a date with each other and he wants to see the apartment", I tell him that maybe we should have but now it'll happen in due time, he keeps pushing the issue then starts again with the bullshit at damned near 11 at night when I'm TRYING To force myself to sleep on some:

"I could have your pretty little ass right now, you want to come over or you want me there"

*snort*

"as much as I could use the dick and the warm body across the bed, I'm in bed naked, porn-ed out, slightly buzzed and my dog is cold cocked next to me, but hey, make it happen, do let me know, after all you're the one with the fucky schedule, not me, lol" ( BTW those were all lies from the devil, I couldn't sleep all night, I was porned out but I wasn't liquored up and Spike was really biting my knuckles for no reason and playing around until very late at night)

... well someone got sort of mad, but really, what's up with that he and I don't talk like that, he does jealousy little fits when we DO get together asking when was the last time I smashed, then he shows up out of the blue being pushy and "sweetie this and honey that" but you know what? If I can have two nicer dudes that are less good in bed and more chatty and trainable, guess what route I'm finna take?? (also if I hadn't had such a delicious brunch with Workaholic I probably would have been all over that but... shit, I was sore, ya'll know how he packs!)


I so love these folk
(and somehow it seems ever so appropriate!)

Following that evil bitter pill I've swallowed....

I want to make sure to count my blessings to start getting in the right mindset to begin the year and by blessings I actually mean the chosen family (AKA my friends... cause my family has really really showed the fuck out lately), my boss and my job, the bloggers that make me laugh which are also my friends in my head, my health, my means of transportation, shit, even the hookups for keeping my glow therapy going deserve some shine, and of course the doggie!!


No seriously, like this year with all its initial (and as of recent) bullshit I've grown in love more with my peeps, with J (who keeps me sane,and who I'm still owing a birthday dinner, which I will cook to his taste and will throw in some dessert), Drunky who I just can't stand and I love at the same time, with Ninja, BLKGRL, Onyx, Lysol, Nickcee, Me, Ticia, S.K., Tee, Coco,Assault, the rest of the C&D crew that keeps me laughing and email back and forth about big and little shit (Yeah I sound cheesy but who cares!). Everyone gives me perspective and helps me not take my shit too extra serious or extra emotional and I do love em for that shit!)

Also let's talk about my boss and my job, you want to hear that my boss is trying to hustle me a second gig AT WORK with another lawyer so I don't gotta go work anywhere else?? cause he knows I dread being at a second job, or unfocused or whatever else!, and that he brings me books so I don't have to go send that extra money (his wife selects me some titles), and that I've been dog sick and today he brought me his wife's Jewish chicken soup!, and that today right before I left he gave me my Christmas bonus cause he doesn't want me to wait until after he comes back from vacation, and Jesus H. Christ if he didn't leave me almost 600 bucks on my desk while I watched youtube all day and gossiped/flirted with little David!!!!!, the man lets me listen to music all day and burns me cds (I gave him foo fighters today) honestly even if he falls on hard times or we gotta move offices or whatever, if I have to take a second job, so be it, but I can't bring myself to think about moving on, he encouraged me to finish the paralegal shit so he can give me more money, I HEART my boss and my job even if I hate our clients with all my heart!!

Then there are the blogs, I spend SOOOOOOO much time on the computer!, and these awesome mofos with twisted minds entertain the fuck out of me (im seeing ya'll kitties, Ohhellnaw crew, The Bully,Thembi, Toldja and Mia) , seriously, when I'm laughing til my tears come out, I'm forwarding to the e-friends and the for-reals!

Furthermore my weight is under control, locked and loaded, there are no masses on my titties and the twat is A-Ok as per the doctor (even if they always look at the ring and double take my ass), I ain't preggo, my hair is not falling out, I'm eating green beans and blueberries, I'm not playing myself drinking too much and so what if I have a cold, at least is not mutaba for reals!


....and my car is good

.... and pikey is an old baby-dog and he likes the new place

....and I'm starting the new year with new hair which is a good change of vibe for me (that's the first part of my body that I attack when in need of change...)

....and I've gotten enough cute dack to make up for every bad lay I've ever had in my life...umm hmm this year has been good for that, MOST. FUN.SENSATIONAL.SEX/DATES. EVAH I'm becoming a very assertive, extra sexually confident, smart ass woman, in and out of the bedroom.

....and even when I despise my neighbors I guess I have a place of my own so at least is somewhere for me to walk naked when I want to high enough that no one sees me and covered by trees and shit, yeah is cool

So I will save most of my Christmas bonus, get something nice for my sister, a few (FEW) clothes for work a card to call my daddy on his birthday to tell him I love him and something for my boss, that's it!, I gotta save the rest for reals!!!

Notes from Jesusland

....and let me start by saying May God NEVER let me go back there again


Ever
ever
ever
ever


Whatever, let me backtrack by starting with date with model boy, weird, weird (because guys are not a talkative, nor inclined to listen breed), we had mad fun, stayed up until 3 shooting the shit, talking, napping, then talking some more, ...ok dick was official, and the stuff he is into, I'm into.. way into, also rarely does a dude let a chick talk about all these things she wants in bed... and out, considering he was leaving to NY just as I'd depart to Jesusland (except he kept telling me that he wouldn't be "gone gone" cause he planned on coming back several times through the year, specifically asked me what my New Years plans were, huh!?, ok ya'll know how many eggs I'm saving in THAT basket, right?)


Anyways, that so I get to LAx with my sister and the kids and immediately her husband didnt want to delete my first, second third and fourth impression of him by not Being a bitch ass whinny ass bitch, noooo far from it he reinforced it, also he added the delicious tidbit of talking to my sister like She and not him is the mentally deficient twerp in the relationship, real refreshing shit, but I made a promise to my mom to keep my trap shut

Then, we drove infinitely on and on through motherfucking canyons at speedsNOT prudent by any standard, to arrive to





THIS!!!!!

Mofos, if ya'll like that shit WHOOPTEEDOO!!! My ass was cold, hungry tired, fed up of rolling my eyes at my Brother in Law and his whinny bitch ass voice and I get to see that my sister lives in a rural area, ROADS ARE FREQUENTLY UNPAVED (ughh), Mail doesnt reach certain areas, there is only one station and that is country in addition

Women act like clucking hens

They also wear shit ass hairdos not seen since the 80s

and sweatMOFOCKINGpants (ughh) and ugly sneakers

and men FAVOR HIGHLY VERY dense beards

And the younger guys look like retards with alcohol problems

and I got side eyed cause at 27 I dont have 2 children or a man

and this


um, MY SISTER's IN- LAWS KEEP A PET WOLF, and Hairy cows (one which licked my finger)

and (it gets better)

I got the flu

There was no internets

They go to church TWICE on Sunday

There was nothing to flirt with

No instructive ANYTHING to read, no magazines, no books, no non bible related shit, I resorted to taking books from a thrift store

NO TV

I was DESPERATE like I've never been in my life, and it wasn't just the compound effect of all these things but, seriously, that thing my sister married is the most rude, unhelpful, lazy, stupid, hare brained sonofabitch that ever lived, such a waste of space and resources he is, Her saving grace is that the commune( which is what I call it)and her in-laws really do pitch in where he absolutely doesn't at any point in time

after a day of seeing him not even help her with a dish or a dinner or a kid I was ready to snap even though I promised my mom not to so I ended up channeling the evil energy into this:








Homemade hairdo rocks at the moment but it was a rash desicon fueled by thinking about NOT being in the same room with that asswipe


Anyways, I also sent several desperate missives (via Text) to my brother, to J (who had an interesting theory about why B-I-L is such an ass: "He figures, women with accents= Dumber than my American self"... Until I whipped his sorry ass at Scrabble), to crunk people, and what do you know even Model boy sent me a few, checking up on my health and some such "too bad you aren't here" (do men try shit like this with every girl??... Sorry, I ask cause it was charming but quite honestly I don't trust anything out of the mouth of a man except a working tongue), oh oh and wait... Weezy showed his lights again... yeah , whatever, I told every member of my family upon arrival to NEVER again pull some shit like this on me ever again, that this was NOT a vacation, and it was horrible seeing my sister acting like some doormat and being in that ugly ass place and that I needed dick........ ok maybe i didnt tell them the last part like THAT but i did say that that communing with nature in a cold ass dirt mountain was not my idea of fun, naked beach YES!, Cold ass Mountain range NO!