It's Q's World you just live in it!

German Cake huh?

2009-11-09T10:08:00.013-05:00

First of all HOW MUCH DO I LOVE "V"

I am like, adoring that show please don't fuck it up, this a a childhood staple of mine, I Love that Morris Chestnutt is employed and shirtless, I love that the "Robin" angle is switched to a boy instead of a girl, I love that the father is Ever is ever just so Fuckabulitious, and Hello Morena Baccarin! cause she looks like this

cause I love that name

Cause she has THE most delicious Haircut, I always feel kindred to the sort haired girls, I've always had hair like that or shorter, Fact This is THE longest I've ever had my hair, and I'm not used to it, like it stays getting in my face/sometimes when I'm eating, a hot mess(mami used to keep mine always short, Binks long) , usually I'da been Batshit by now and shaved it all off or done some REAL crazy Home cut BUT I'm getting to the age where I don't do very many slutty length things, or crazy makeup or a shaved head, cause for one I'm not that skinny and I work in an office where I'd NEVER hear the end to thinks like a drastic cut, pink hair or huge visible tats...not to say I wouldn't toe the line real close or date a human pincushion... cause by God I would and I'm diligently working two fronts of that, like hard, like while on my period working on that one dude I previously showed you and this other morsel

that actually hit me up whilst at publix (downtown, picking up lunch for boss) and he and I had an eyefuck for a moment ...a Long one, through the store....but we collected ourselves enough to exchange phones and emails... he told me something lurid in German the other day via email and funnariously that's when what little I remember/ can barely identify decides to kick in so I actually texted him back: "If you are lucky and play your cards right, you will have the answer to that soon enough"

Yes it was that saucy

Further info: he is my age, he is a chocoholic, like suffering of a Milky way problem such as I do, a Nurse (so are we calling him Focker (as in Gary focker), came from Germany at 14, he just cracked me up with some mess about "well, you said you don't like douchebags and you like that i'm being nice: but...what if I was a good looking-good kissing- douchebag? J/K"

Verdict: I'm in trouble (but I answered that i'd probably take advantage of the kissing and NEVER ever call him back again...Yup I sure did, he asked if he could cook for me)

Further proof the Germans are coming is that my Long distance morsel also just told me he is coming to visit friends and he wants to spend a day or a few hours just us doing something fun

(see; we stay always in contact nothing too schmoopie or anything but also enough to as he says: "Have me keep him in mind" he sometimes will text in the morning and say hi or whatever, a quick call whatever) we had agreed to try and meet halfway after the holidays when things calmed down, take the dogs, meet somewhere not alabama not South florida and do whatever people did in that podunk halfway town a whole day, before we settled into anything else, Only he just called me and said that to me that we should hang Saturday or Sunday after thanksgiving

Speaking of my boss, That man has gone off the deep end of crazy, I love him but why did he loudly ask me yesterday if I STILL had my period, which "obviously" means i'm "Unclean"

Then he called me a Biotch Today... over nothing in particular, he just loved repeating the word, kind of like when he got a hold of the word BULLSHIT (spoken like a black woman in Opa Locka Flawda) and he just ran it to the ground... he is just like a 5 year old with Tourettes

Leighton Meester & robin Thicke- Someone to Love: Ummmmmmmmmmmm this is Totally going on the seductive dance list, NOMMY, just sexy strippery thing all sprinkled with Robin, sessy voice and that Round,Round/Italo Disco shit, plus she is practically Purring, i can't hate that

Womanizer in LA hands

Sliimy | MySpace Video
Sliimy- Womanizer: *sigh* better song and Video than the Original britney Is legend in my book for being a Life fail at her own songs which then anyone can go on to cover VERY WELL

La Roux - New Music - More Music Videos

La Roux- Bulletproof: UGHHH!! I'm such an electropop Whore this month

Incubus- Pantomine: I stay in love with him, long hair, short hair, no matter, is his voice *melts*

Ok;.. or not such a quiet weekend

2009-11-08T20:00:00.003-05:00

First of all i've been on the same headache for 2 days now Yep i finally put clothes on to go get excedrin Tension Headache (yessss it stopped)

second: WHAT the fuck is the matter with Sammy Sosa, I've spent all day looking at the blogs, and Sat night i had a SS induced nightmare: Is the permed hair, the contacts, and now the white skin (also could be botox, an ethnic Nose job and a peel or two thrown in there
Lets not discuss his woman's Contacts (did they get them in a two for one special), or her Harsh face ( Mia and I theorized that she eats Bunnies On Easter!) or Afro Latinos colorstruckness or its roots, is a shameful part of my culture and a big part of why I don't ever see myself paired up with a Hispanic man that's not one hundred and ten percent Americanized AND liberated, Our values, and his family's desire for a whiter mate won't ever align with me and what I want in a man/from an extended family, since I can't ever carry myself as second best on account to my color, so BOO assholes!

Third: Notes on a Scandal was a MAGNIFICENT movie! really Judi Dench was Glen Close crazy and I all the sudden understood Mary Kay Letorneau, plus is always a joy to see Bill Nighty

fourth: I most certainly I'm Trapped in this body cause why else would a WOMAN be drinking Juice from the Bottle

fifth: Tai must die; Not only I get porn from her (Gay Porn that tickles my bones, and some other raw shit straight up my gutterbucket alley) and Prayers to the Red Lord so my period stops so I can tap That ass but I also get this
THE TURD BURGLAR! In PURPLE!

sixth: Who all thinks I am going to say no to this???

extra info (cause We've been talking THAT much and cause I am INSANE and in SoFl you thoroughly research people and I've done my research... and I'm amazing ): Smart as fuck, Black/Italian/some Hispanic stuff in between, Way extra Open, a Perv like me, trust me, like we've laid a LOT out there this weekend, like A-ok with my love for t-girl porn, used to live in Manipur (India) , from 12-14 as a monk first then training to fight, plays bass (Used to anyways) on a Straight edge steez until very recently HAWT body, Um we are into a lot of the same music apparently, he can only suck at kissing and be a true life asshole and that's the only way I wouldn't hit it (since he charmed me a LOTTTTT this weekend... uh and so did his Blog from a few years back Hehe!?...and them tatts and glasses and uh... package situation), his name is a pass down from the family since being back in Italy for the first born male, So there are very many high chances that should the gods of Periodland Spare me I will most certainly be Tapping That Very soon (why that asshole Tai, called him TAP Tats And Penis)... and yes Fuck what You heard, neither one of us has many morals...There is NOTHING I don't love about that picture, not a thing...OH and this; He used to have an apadravya piercing which he took of about 10 years ago... I Wish he still had it cause I've never done a dude with a dick piercing and that could feel superdelicious against mine YUMMMM (also don't look that shit up whilst at work, is a favor, trust me) oh And Uh He LOVES to be at Haulover???!?!? How the fuck I missed that Fucking Morsel??? HOW! (he shared videos with me... I gave him some pictures, yup with other people and backstory... Nommy!)

seventh: Is SO nice out still Bitches!!1 Like 80s (windy at the moment) but won't it be awesome if i can still swing the beach a few days from now??

eight: I got my coat for the Girl's Trip, Old Navy has a sale half off all week and Monsters, La and Mia helped me pick it out via phone

Ninth: Binky is coming!!!! day after thanksgiving, for like a month, babies and all ***Bai Privacy!, hello Cache and Cookies cleaning****

tenth: Uh i had me the HELL of a boyfriend-Date with Oralmaster, yup that threw me for a loop as well, LOL he called me when he got home from Chicago, the next morning (saturday) I needed food SORELY

The Bread was hard, the fruit was on it's way out, the Olives are months old for some reason i just found them and yep I keep 3 things of water filled at all times cause I Drink water like it's going out of style

anywhoosie so That But On the way to Walmart I get Mr. Oralmaster (is like 9: 30 am or something)
O: Hey Babe

Q: hey you, what's up?

O: My Cock... we need you NOW

(Classy, Non?.....Tai said the man should write cards for Hallmark the way he is classy with words like this)

Q: well, come on over, you know where to find me and where to park

Delicious! I was in fact needing Some pre-period sex! Timely motherfucker you! so I get to shopping (and Spike got his new Collar BTW) when I get another text:
O: did you eat yet, hon?
Q; um, no but I'm buying food, you want something

(I stay cuddled with the dude, and he eats pussy on a scale that greatly outweighs my BJ giving, and I'm a 30 mins at least thing) and I like cooking, and he looks like this on a bad day
(the pics don't really really reflect him well...Oh! he was wearing this shirt!!)

So i don't mid cooking for a hard working man that also has no problems staying hard, staying protected having a short practically non existent or mostly STILL HARD refractory period

O: No how about I pick you up and take you to lunch

Q: Nice, sure, then call me when you're downstairs

So i got home, quickly cleaned, showered, and left things in order, and shortly after he called, appreciated my glasses and Wonder woman Tshirt combo and we set out to find food, bt that turned into a long drive, talking shit, exchanging stories about the assholes of SoFl and the golddiggers he's encountered (He said He was going to change his profile to Copper diggers wanted *DEAD*) we talked a LOT of shit back and forth we then ended up in a place really close to my house which he said was to "feed me the best garlic Rolls ever" (they were) and once there we talked even more smack,we giggled at the waitress having a white print of flour on her ass, tried to place her accent (Eastern Europe, I won that), and held on valiantly to our lead as "the youngest Clients in the room"

After that we came home, he intended to watch the game (some team against another) only of course I got interested on his package..... which then turned into VERY vigorous Sex (HOLLA TROJAN MAGNUM ECSTASY) and I mean I was In fact Cramping cause I think he wast trying to give me a hysterectomy.... Yo That was A LOT the wet spot in the bed was the whole bed, he tried to Make me have some of that female ejaculation business... only so he could lick it, ahhh man and again i don't think I'm ever going to find some dude that genuinely loves to eat that much pussy

after that we showered, came out to the couch to watch more tv and cuddle with spike, except he fell asleep between my legs, I woke him up after a while so we could move to bed, he didn't oppose this (usually he'd rouse up enough to get his clothes on and get that show on the road, when he's been sort of tired) so we went to bed, spike went behind his legs and I set my alarm for an hour.... he cuddled up with me all spooning and rubbing my arms and covering my feetsies from the cold etc Yup! NOW, THAT (or my being comfortable with same) does NOT happen often.. and what do you know? I actually felt asleep after a whole while, heh!

After a while the alarm rang, I woke up, he fixed himself in a different position and I went ahead and wrapped myself around him, but since i HAD to g see about that coat, i didn't feel like letting him fall asleep again, so I went for that BJ Wake up move....... We ended up on the longest 69 thing Ever, and both came without so much as penetration needed! Fun for the whole family!... afterward I took a quick shower again, he got dressed and got spike ready to go out ( I like that he REAALLLYYY likes spike) and I've been eating that fucking huge unending Calzone since yesterday... It was A LOT, like a Large sized pizza bent over, is what he called it LOL

Music- The indie edition (as always)

Music Go Music- Just Me: How extra is she

The Drums- Let's Go Surfing: so Fun... Like Joy Division but on Anti Depressants!

Dragonnette- Pick up the phone

Dispatch Music, and Im bored but grateful for the "bored"

2009-11-06T10:04:00.005-05:00

I'm also eating like a pig at a through I think, cause my period is going to be here saluting my ladyparts any minute (watch the sexing offers commence, cause my period is stupid like that

Oh also THE STUPID ANONYMOUS ASSHOLE THAT INSIST ON TRYING TO COMMENT WITH ADVERTISEMENTS FOR CIALIS ETC: GET.THE. FUCK.OFF.MY.BLOG... I always moderate and although I gives a fuck about dissenters or criticism, or advice, or questions or off topic stuff I will surely the fuck NOT approve yours no matter what, so go somewhere else with that shit (also same goes for the occasional religious nuts, unless is an excerpt of the LOLCat Bible I simply don't care for it , Toodle Roo!!!)

Oh Is quiet here and I finished off all my work, I want a quiet (if periody) weekend, no man bullshit even though yes we are still holding interviews and disqualifying morons left and right

In a bit I'll call JC, since I need to look into reducing my insurance costs and keep trying to save or at least pay the cards cause my sister should be here shortly, with her kids, as well as Paulie and Neen and her kid I believe and that will mean money expenditure, plus I need to get some xmas gifts (It won't be horrible as far as my family goes since I think we are having the gift exchange as always, but I still want to try to do some things)

And also that trip to ATL for NYE is definitely coming up and in full progress!! so exciting!!, and we are going to some nice Hotel (Like 5 starts type of shit! who knows!) Monster, Mia, and La and apparently I need to be babysat so I don't get in trouble!!, also what do people even do at Basketball games??? I'm at an utter loss, if you know me, you know I think sports smell like sweaty socks and I don't follow, and I get sleepy and so they decided we are going to some game, don't ask me who but I don't even know what you do for clothing to start with... I need a shiny 6'3 something to keep me occupied or something... wait they Might be at the court? right? I think? whatever we are doing that and uh Hello I need cheap covered up stuff that is NOT ugly , cause I cannot also look miserable and chubby-in-layers... also I gotta secure a Spike minder!

*And I must workout: I think if I adopted my former hardlinery about that I'd be less stressed, about these HolidayHorror things (It just stresses me all those people around wanting something and expecting me to hang around and the lack of privacy.. don't get me wrong I love to have my family and friends around, you just know I'm not keen on fake holiday cheer and guided "blessings" and on being nice and sociable, so any kind of holiday thing tests my last nerve, my ability to not yell at my family or to strangle them regarding their tardy/cheap/idiotic habits, I'm however dead sure they hate my curmudgeony, fake smile 2 sec-before-the-picture- ass... another thing I can't with: Shoppers) on the plus side though... My skin is behaving and my body is not rebelling againt my shitty habits even as I apparently am totally back on the imsomnia train ( oh Manita SRLY AFTER we hung up then I couldn't sleep for an hour or so more!!)

*What is it about the holidays? that you can't stand: I don't know I don't like any of them, for one i don't get on the we saved the indians train, for 2nds I don't like fireworks, Halloween just generally creeps me out and Xmas is just UGH!, I also don't like to participate on Valentines, Easter and stuff liek that, I don't get the why it has to be the ONE day you decide to be nice and extra on people...Besides I celebrate all summer long taking my butt the Nude Beach whatever, I wasn't big on them as kid cause my parents weren't (Curiously enough all of the sudden my mom has become this extra crazy person about every single solitary shit, is ridiculous seeing her trying to rally adult troops when she never really care much for them shennanigans before) I suppose if I had a child Imight have to muster the umph! for decor but fuck I t think my sister only puts up a christmas tree as well, she DEFINITELY doens't do most of them but she indulges on taking her kids around (his Family is Big on all kinds of extra whirly flavored fuckery for each and every occasion and what have you)

*Random Shit I JUST heard/saw for the first time that Beyonce Sweet Dreams thing (literally like 5 minutes ago!) and I Liked the song : Heh! I adore to be tardy to these kind of party, My radio hate hard on continues on, and yet still great song, pretty girl, her spastic-dancing shimmy-shaking gives me tourettes and st vitus all at once, so one day I might hear the song and not turn it off but i certainly can continue avoid seeing her videos since they leave me with my head cocked to the side trying to understand and at the same time giving high props To Molly Roncal for the amazing makeup work (Another or my 2 favorite Beyonce games I play is the "interviews" game: this one is to try to recreate one of her vapid ones or to start drinking once she starts talking about Celestine/God/ her daddy, OR "guess which dresses Tina didn't make" Clues are: Good fit/ sudbued colors/ unbusy/glitterless/anything other than a mermaid cut/lame/satin???: then chances are this is Versache, D&G, Armani or Cavalli is fun Try It!)

Friday Music: Is all about Dispatch for moi today (cause we still got us 80s up in this here bitch!!)

Dispatch- General: I like this one but is even funner to try to match him on a follow-the-lyrics- battle, Heh!

Dispatch- two coins: sweet tune, every sweeter lyrics

Dispatch- Elias: Here, sing along

Na Jesu atwanekwa tayesu falala he.
Na Jesu atwanekwa tayesu falala he.
Tayesu falala he, falala he.
Tayesu falala he, falala he.

And Passerby, the one that made me love em in situ:

doggie Date Fail, and more busyness... you guys were smart!

2009-11-04T19:50:00.005-05:00

I mean.... I KNOW I was supposed to blog more but I've been a bit stressed out....it was time to get my prints done for the citizenship, luckily , they let me do them without presenting my residency, i just gotta hope it works the same way on my interview cause there is no other reason why they would deny me that, also the office rearrangement from hell? GOD I've hated this, the new dude and his assistant are not so horrible but these cramped ass quarters are the pits, needless to say my privacy has been zapped a bit and my boss stays playing fucking games and drawing pictures, that lady also talks too much and I gotta wear my headphones just to get peace and quiet

Anyways, my intended plan of more regular blogging will continue, since my desk is clean, those peeps are settled, and all and all our schedule seems to be totally managed now that and the fact that I NEED to go to the damned gym in a steady schedule, my body is good to me to not utterly rebel against my fuckery

ok so let's start where I last left you and inject a few asides here and there, Halloween night was spent with my aunts and my cousin Eva, we all sat in the front porch, Eva handed candy to her classmates cause she wasn't all for no damned dress up (another thing she mimics me in, I hate all that made up commercialized holiday shit, she never quite has gotten on board either, she says that now that she is a "teen" she can express her displeasure with same LOL) and I got to watch a few horror movies, mostly Zombies, George Romero and unworthy remakes, also Hulk Smash texted me something about being sick, I was like uh..Ok (mind you me and Tai have been speaking poo on to that cause we keep going back to the same thing: why did he non-answered me regarding why is he single... like he just giggled and deflected the question, a question that is NOT hard to answer BTW), Oralmaster put on some text time even though I really wasn't planning on seeing him since UH! was Saturday and I was chilling with my family and Sunday I'm supposed to hang out with NY

AHHHH NY... Let me tell you, Tai and my Manita have been hearing me gripe about this: I was feeling absolutely stifled I guess is like this... when you like someone a lot it doesn't matter but you know that to me he was ok in the attractive scale but not super extra hawt or nothing, (short), most of all I'm a firm believe that I don't owe you shit nor do you when we are just starting to date.... I'm a commitmentphobe THERE! I've said it! I am a great girlfriend to have cause I ask for little more that cock, faithfulness and some efforts, I give space cause I NEED space myself, so I'm not bugging you, texting you, needing wanting all the time... But you gotta EASE me to that point.... Calling nightly for an hour, texting several times a day is only going to make me REALLY nervous

And I was REALLY NERVOUS, ugh! bothered and twitchy, I was straight not answering to some texts and shit, to my credit I did not say shit cause like my Manita said: Maybe I need to be eased into things and, hey i think dude is nice, doing the things, he, so to speak, could do in order to attract me, right??

Idon'treallyknowwwww

That night spicky broke his running after a big azz Shiba Inu, who then went on to chomp on his side, he wailed but as soon as I picked him up he went right back to talking shit and yapping it up, is stupid too cause he had been awesome enough for my aunt and cousin to comment on how well he's behaved, with all the trick o treaters, being sweet with all the kids and the teenagers, just being quiet and smelling up everyone a little bit...the funniest shit was that Eva tied strong white rope around his neck, triple knot, is so amusing that I haven't taken it off

and oh my nails are growing, hard to tell there cause I keep em squared and tapered off but All of them have grown all of the sudden Fact: my nails really don't grow, they peel when they do, so I'm kind of surprised

I also finally washed my hair off the keratin; my hair is now wavy, and I gotta work for those, but is great cause I hate crazy volume and whatever i guess you see the length more, i'm not really attached to that, I'm more into the convenience of time reduction and not wetting it daily, so Booyakasha on That!

but to blow dry or flat iron it is a MINUTES thing I didn't even need a mirror yesterday I just flat ironed it while talking to mami, is extremely soft either way

So that date came in and based on my level of apprehension I'm already iffy, but i figure if he comes at 1pm then he'll leave early, and hey I could use a bit of massage and uh... sexification if it happens!!!? (what? you thought I grew morals all of the sudden??, uh NO)

The apprehension turns to "um, ok" when he insists that WE can go get our dogs dogtags and spike a new collar.... um........o....k.......

He then proceeded to make it worse by telling me how he really wasn't feeling his Halloween Horror Nights, trip to Orlando with his dudes cause it was super crowded but since i like that type of shit : Maybe we can go next year?!?/!?!/!/1/1/1/??!?!?!?1/kpowoqjw'ehcFSDUhfC"ASdihv

WtF??? I'm NOT sure I want to even keep you and you tombout NEXT fucking Year??? boy STTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Then he came and i just had this forebording like ENNGHH!! i gotta stop seeing this dude!... but his dog was ADORABLE and he also hated spike and spike hated him, it was a disaster, an hour and change trying to get those two idiots under control, spike even bit y finger, not intentionally but he did

And then NY started trying to kiss me and rub me... but it was just eh! I wasn't feeling it at all, it was sloppy, desperate, whatever..... Then he crowned himself the biggest looser when we are just laying there and he starts to kinda get close to me with a hard-on only to Ask again about when are we gonna have unprotected sex

I Told him that it was NOT gonna happen no matter what he said, so that was lame and fucking obnoxious as fuck, and I HATE that bullshit pressure, and is fucking stupid, no matter what is like 2009 I don't know where you've been and I'm looking out for number one, you'd think guys would give more of a fuck

add to that (when I'm already peeved out enough to put my clothes back on etc) Binky calls me and the whole fucking time I'm talking to her Not only is he not giving me space in my own couch BUT he is Trying to be loud to where he wants to be obviously noted... to where I GOTTA shush him, when I hang up on her he goes; Oh you can tell her about me

"uh, I decide when I tell who about what friend" (now he is pushing my fucking buttons)

and then he just didn't seem to want to leave 9im watching SVU and pointedly yawning and whatever

second to final button gets popped when Binks sends me pics of the kids and tells me to open them... and he is hovering over me cause HE wants to see em... he THEN jumps again on the same bullshit about Oh if we had kids... and "what color are their eyes"

NO
NO
NO
NO
NOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOO

so somehow I hustle him out of here, ,he made a weak push about sex which I totally rebuffed and now i'm thinking "not-so-nice" cause nice guys don't fucking act stupidly pushy, and i IMMEDIATELY call my manita to let her know this simply won't do and it sucked ass and I couldn't wait for him to leave and then he knocks on the door cause he forgot something, so who knows maybe he woulda been privy to some convo and catch a clue but you know what does him in as final nail in the coffin??

He actually texted me, on his way home... to ask why didn't I want to have sex before he left; if it was because I was tired, or just didn't feel like it period

You know it had to end there right??: so i told him that pushing for condom less sex sucked on his part and I was feeling not well matched whether he was a sweet dude or not

he said he understood and blah blah balh I actually severely thank Mia for forcing me to write a very short dry message cause it woulda been death on earth to get a message or call from him on Monday so that was awesome

I have several pieces I'm moving at the moment, a ma asked me to pee on him, another said he is bisexual but i look like I'd be good to peg him (how did he know???) and 2-3 more, i gotta figure out who I want and who I don't, yummy fellas, but as of right now only Oralmaster is keeping up (texting me all lustyy from effing chicago begging me for some pictures etc etc etc ) I'm still deciding if I eve want to reply to Hulk smash

I have lots of delectableness around on my plate, we will pick off the bad stuff

Dan Auerbach- I want some more: I love how my indie cache is still giving me some shit

Client- Can you feel: yyyeeeeaaaahhh I can

I hate my office, and the Vilest Candy in life

2009-10-31T14:15:00.007-04:00

So I'm listening to your opinion and trying to drop something in the blog daily even if it's a snippet some music some story that way it won't be this LOOOOOONNNGG drawn out post

First of all we've been super duper busy at work (and that will be a blessing when I gotta ask for a raise

Second of all I am broke cause 130 bucks put a wrench on my budget (On the plus side i got an AMEX which has no real spending limit BUT you gotta pay end of the month so there is that

why do women think "bumpits" are fashionable hair styling options?? it only makes you look like the lost cousins of the coneheads, so STOP IT AT once!

yesterday we had some munchkin assholes move into our office, this is bad cause is in our area which is pretty secluded which is great for us cause my Boss, the former intern and I are crass we talk about sex, holler at each other, talk bodily functions, thrown fingers at each other ad generally act like ignorant bastards... now we have to tone it down

Further aggravating this is that the assistant is some Bitching Colombian, which only means she can overhear my convos UGH!

..and she talks a lot and by now you know i Hate talking to a gaggle of hens which is why my location is great (so now I gotta wear my headphones obsessively)

...and they decided to reorganize the fucking office and essentially i don't fucking have space and I feel absolutely claustrophobic

Observe

This is how little space i have to maneuver

You know who da fuck is enjoying this?? My boss...

That asshole did in fact put 2 post-it eyes on my money and sang "somebody's watching me and put a Fort Q sign and kept hiding behind the cabinet and "scaring me.. aint that about a bitch!

Oh whilst at the office I also got offered some of this shit

and if there is a thing i do't commune with is Suspect ass German candy, or even all them Nasty Brach's candy or sour shit or extra concoctions, peanut butter things, tootsie rolls or none of all that shit, i ONLY like: Milky ways, Twix, gummy bears, cotton candy, nerds and ice cream that has no extra bullshit or rum or raisins or peanut anything Bleh

So you KNOW i'm fucking angry about these lil shits

LICORICE FUCKING CATS *gag* i took two to be polite, and just to be a hater tried to start with biting one's head

WHICH failed miserably, God Punished me by making those hard, disgusting and revolting, so they went on the trash as soon as i was alone! Gross

Well, after work I napped, talked to NY (I'll tell you my thoughts on that more tomorrow or Monday as we are set to be on a date with our doggies too!), talked to Oralmaster and someone that is trying to weasel in (very sexy older, not sure where we'll stand, works on tv in Tampa getting transferred here, this would definitely be sex/play/maybe more datey-like Tai is stupid and declared him "the Husband that'd gift you a Mandigo for your b-day)) and got texts from Hulk Smash and some conversation here and there from some sordid dudes, then i went to see Tia Isabel as it was her birthday and Boy oh boy did I have fun with the crazies!!

we drank
we danced
we ate (I only had cake, they had some nassy Pork leg thing and yucca which I won't)
we drank
we made fun
and when everyone left as always my aunt makes me stay behind, is always the fun people and the girls who stay behind (AKA mami gots to go) so is usually me, tia lusy, Tia isabel, Uncle white, Tio Ro, my helpy uncle, JC and Maribel when available (Maribel was with us) and we tend to sit in the end, by the pool and drik, play checkers lollygag, they'll ask me single life shit, discuss relationships, kids, the past etc... Believe you me last night:

** Uncle white had to explain to eva what a Eunuch was *sigh*

**These assholes raided my purse and All of them My aunts and uncles fell i love with the clean and clear shine blotting papers (they were so extra for themselves! I had to forbid them from continually using the papers)

** with my uncle (who is the most extra protective dad ever) I started teaching my baby Eva how to do her makeup: just little bits, I advised her on raccoon eyes at her age (Nov 12 she turns 13.. my little baby who I first met as a footprint Marvelous kick in her mom's belly) I explained what things she could start by playing with and what she should leave alone for a while, I'm also NOT allowing her to do her eyebrows cause her face is still changing... it just hit me how my baby is almost my height too! she will be a looker and Taller than me! that was fun, i showed her two looks and told her not to take it any further for a while, she has eyelashes for effing days!

Today all I need to do is sleep, wash my hair, and nom (Oralmaster talked about nomming something else later possibly, that could work!)

She and him- i Put a spell on you: Oh wow I am surprised at how awesome Zooey Deschanel voice sounds for this (i'm not a HUGE fan of her voice per se but this was pitch perfect)

The Wolfmen- Cecilie: Love his voice (I like the weird ones, we've predetermined!)

Polly Scattergood- I Am Strong: Girls on a breakup r with shitty dudes- Listen, do yourselves a favor, Play on Repeat this is not about being a hard Bitch this is about repeat and affirm until is true and acknowledge that some shit, you are NOT at a place where you can handle, ain't no shame on running the other way from bullshit

Camera Obscura- My Maudlin Career; Love this song

I'm also going to cook some gardenburger meatballs, mushrooms, olives and pasta and some movies, on the plate; Day of the living dead Metropolis, Night of the living dead, maybe the Omen, i'm aiming for 4-5 horror movies maybe i'll reach the goal!

Date Review: Hulk Smash, Pictures and NY makes head way...also quick poll

2009-10-30T00:00:00.000-04:00

Hola Muñecas!!

First super quick question, cause I know my shit stays getting nuts: Check on the poll on the side, or give me some feedback, cause i know sometimes I get over the top and my stress level does rise up accordingly:

Do you rather my big ass extra laaaawwwwwnnnggg posts every so many days

Or you much rather read something daily, a snippet, a story, some music, random pic? what?

I just think the blog is not just my outlet and really is my diary, go back to the start you'll see I stay just rambling about whatever it helps my sleepytime but also with a big chunk of you I've become very close to like friends I talk to always but don't see regularly, plus also I deleted my twitter, just too much, FB should soon follow

So let me know on that

Ok then, today we had ANOTHER fucking pedophile knocking down our door, my Boss' tv appearance has certainly helped business but 4 pedos and pedophile related shit (a dad that beat up some asshole vagrant that touched his kid, whom he befriended drank with etc etc ) in a month is too much when we've only had two of those the previous 5 yeas.... sucks I yelled at Boss today I asked wtf are we doing with these shitbags getting even accepted as cases when half the time they can't even pay properly, his wife threatened him and so did I watch that mofucka take another case like that... UGH!

Oh I cut my toe (under) and my knee is f-u-c-k-e-d so probably I'll have to sit tomorrow out.. But I have in fact been to the gym

So, let's move on, I cleaned out my purse a bit

and yes this all was in my purse, and most of them are lip plumpers (as though i need em!) and balms and this and that, plus some candy, plus tweezers, LOL I need to stop

This morning after the gym I went to see mami who started calling me and bugging out mid Hulk smash date to ask me to go do her resume (yeah no it wasn't a question, she never Asks or says please, is a "I don't gives a fuck what you doing, just drop it all and come to me") Only reason why she left it be is cause I told her I was on a date, Yes I HAD to... she has been pestering me a LOT literally, about the "getting a man" crap, like she told me this past weekend that I was looking good now and how I should get a man with money so he can "help me move" or "travel' .. It fucking ranklels me to no end that this is what she thinks I need in life, a fucking sugar fucking daddy, she is so deluded, first of all why am I entitled to some rich dude?? (I'm not one of those heifers that much abound in MIA that thinks: Oh look I'm skinny my tits are big, ERGO I deserve the world...uh what are your accomplishments or talents that you should have? what are YOU bringing to the table that you "deserve" shit GTFOH with that shit ) further her plastic surgery obsession leads me to believe that she would love for m to be with the type of man that pays for these things, whatever i tell her i'll struggle and pay for my shit on my own and thanks for the info, I date PLENTY and when she needs to meet someone, she will....

but I went to see her in the morning and then she handed me this:
Pretty sweet Huh?? Red delicious perfume, dusky rose Estee Lauder lipstick, American Beauty 10 hour lipcolor, Magnascopic Mascara, Apple Cordial lipliner, and two MAC eyeshadows which the names wont come to me, this was from her 50 dollar bag that I was supposed to buy except I couldn't due to her deciding that I would buy the keratin treatment, right? it had also easily 300 bucks worth of perfume, is like a beach bag full of skincare/makeup and perfume of all the companies owned by Estee lauder (so it had clinique, sean John perfumes, Donna Karan stuff, etc etc etc)

Before i'm even done thanking her she proudly shows me that she bought Binks a WHOLE Bag... Yup that's my mom, playing favorites and making no bones about it!, LOL By now I'm used to it, but she already parceled out some shit for Neen and her xmas gifts out of that... oh well I'm still happy with what i got, which allowed me to do my makeup today, as such
...one more cause I was feeling the morning glowiness

And then everyone appreciated my Matching matchingness today LOL
(yeah I'm trying curly hair tomorrow)
I LOOOVVEEEE my chocolate nails Oh-so-Much

About that date thing

I wore this dress to the date cause.. I wore it to work and people liked it, and NY asked me for a picture and his reaction was like: "Oh wow Mama you look sooo good, i promise you I can't wait too hug you smell you, kiss you massage you and service you when I see you Sunday"

Heh! the fact he Stays telling me how cheery he is about the prospect of giving me an un-reciprocated massage and um HEAD and his little tries at Spanish and his calling every time he says he will definitely are making up for the height misgiving and the whole calling me Mama... cause that's way way way close to Mami and there is no term of endearment i hate more, maybe I should subtly bring it up, as a propos of nothing conversation LOL

Anyways no, he is doing good, we talked about how we both needed to re-do (me) and get (him) tags for our puppies after this lost doggie he saw, and how we both just ended up thinking about it over and over all day and he asked me if he should get me Spike's tag or maybe could we do that together Sunday, sweet, right? also I mentioned something about how I live for Stephen King's and James Patterson books and stuff, and he said that he should maybe see which one of them has a new book out so he can get it for me ++Double Time Points++

And also in prep for this date i cooked: Yellow rice, Black beans, Maduros, Chicken, and some chopped tomatoes, onion and pepper, kinda like Pico de gallol stuff but I chopped fresh parsley and balsamic vinegar

Manita thought me a bit "extra", rich indeed coming from her

*****BWahahahahahhahahah some Nigga just called my phone, some fool I DON'T know To my new phone, since the number was blocked I thought it could be manita from her parents' place but NOOOO some Island dude and he was calling during booty call hours when I clarify for a few seconds that this is NOT whomever's number he thought it was he goes No wait you sound so familiar with that pretty accent, My Answer; Oh christ Fuck This!! *click*... fucking Comedy i tell you!*****

Ok so my date! my date with Hulk Smash, movie watching! it went well! we ate, we cuddled, we talked a lot we were watching a movie about East Germany,GREAT movie, then the movie plain old stopped and I had to eventually play the ending again, he looked cute but also compared to some of the sexy preternaturelly young dudes I have been meeting, he did/does look his age, and THAT is not a bad thing for me AT.All

Anyways so we watched the movie cuddled up, never farther than inches away, he tap kissed a lot , he kissed my shoulders didn't grab but certainly stared at my boobs, my legs were all draped on him and at some point i do think I brushed against something that leads me to believe, I won't be disappointed, after all my worries about my apartment he actually found it to be bigger than his and very nice, he says that he has lots of amenities (terrace pools, clubhouse, view to the sea etc etc) but mine seems bigger, so score me

And he complimented my yummy food skills and my perfume, and I cuddled him the whole time, we shared some fruit and talked about how his family split their time between Serbia and Finland (mom is Serbian) .. oh here is my only gripe a bit of hedging non answers to : uh why are you single, he was like well, you know.. Why are you single? I told him oh wow the non answer answer, so then he elaborated, he told me he worked a lot and then at the end of the night we parted ways saying we'd try to hang out (I WAS ENFATHIC and FUCK it HAD to be Saturday or else!) we shall see, this time it'd be his place... when I didn't meet you to put you in the FB category, I happen not to mind if you take it slow, then again i don't penalize guys on "speed" I definitely deduct points on Thirst, shiftlessness, crappy approaches, lack of skills, not eating pussy, inconsistency, drama, and ultimately looks and spelling when all things are being equal LOL, so I'm ok with him, let's hope the goods are good.. shit let's hope we start by checkig his place out on that second date! Hehe!

This moment of coony Ignorance and ass shaking-Latin styles is brought to you and sponsored by : Omega "el Fuerte" *sigh* ... go ahead shake your ass... I sure did , and the fact he can make you do that almost seems to be his only redeeming quality

Omega - Tu si quieres, tu no quieres: mami was appalled when she heard this song, she says Way to give the impression Dominicans can't speak properly, Tia Lusy says oh my what a pretty voice! LOL

Omega feat. Toby Love- Tu no ta pa mi: I sorta feel in the shit to diarreah debate this is much more danceable and saucy that the OG

Monkey Black, Arcangel "la Maravilla", Pitbull, Omega: Well I have to say I have been shaking my ass to this a wee wee bit too much (i maintain is the Booming and the trumpets), is so classy and gracious and elegant of Mr. 305 to join us for this endeavor.. latinos.. did you peep the level of nassy on his verse?? comparing Cum to milk is just really o_O... and I think we are all lucky as fuck only the original (with the Monkey Black dude) is the only one that has an actual video... *shudders* if you find it you'll notice that the genre already has Goldiggers and video hoes that can go toe to toe with the Hip hop caste Is as proud an accomplishment as any to close Hispanic Heritage Month with a bang!

Random happenings and Pick your Team -Shirt Time

2009-10-27T15:34:00.008-04:00

Hola Bitches I've been MUCH too busy being extra to Blog But Blog I must (and trust me I've been working on this for days but shit stays coming up so I can't finalize it:

My mom did my Brazilian hair thing this weekend

hence Before
(you are supposed to blow dry and detangle your hair after washing it with clarifying shampoo, that's why I look insane)

and after!!
(it's been 3 days, I trimmed my ends, I haven't washed it out yet, it feels soft, somehow "smaller" which you see in my ponytail which feels tinsy but upon close review it really isn't, mami says I'm really going to notice the effects AFTER I wash it, that my curls frizz factor will be greatly reduced, I bought sulfate free stuff to wash it with and BTW this is after coming from the Gym!)

More Random shit: I finished paying the car but I've yet to see the results impacting my monies and I can't wait cause I have a couple of cold fucking weather things to buy for my trip

My car was towed Saturday Night , stupid fucking bullshit the condo people have to return my monies

Oh remember how that Natal chart said I'd fall in love and live comfortably and assimilated in a foreing country etc??: Why did it JUST occur to me and greatly tickled my fancy bone that DUH! I'm NOT from here so THIS is it! HEH! plus I never really have dated (except Joel "Vanilla Sex" Mesa and my first guy ever) within my own culture (long story you want me to dish or do you already suspect why? Hi Mysoginist Double Standard! How you been, Oh chilling with the Southern Black Males of Miami?? cooo!)

The Height of my inner coon was let loose monday when I felt very cute and perfect and decided to Youtube "That's cool" and dance and sing BOTH Trina and Silkk Tha Shocker's Part... Please don't ask me what Is it about that song, I'm just so ashamed..(Not more than Silkk trying to make Juneau Mothafucking Alaska the next poppin place in coondom!). At Least I DON'T have it in my Zune which is why I had to look it up (notice I won't even link that mess: I need a tune up daddy Iz you da mechanic?)

The Wes lookalike guy went ballistic MUCH to the delight of Tai and I first of all calling me LOTS after being AWOL essentially for a week (and just texting me but texting shit about pushing for condomless sex... Dudes In SoFl Need to start sniffing more coke or something if they think is a possibility that this would happen)

this is about the 3rd time I've encountered same and they'll say whatever like:

"I've been alone for a while"

"I have nobody else"

or the ever popular "it goes soft cause of the condom": Please watch me give a royal Fuck about it... I'm set for an orgasm after neck kissing and boob sucking, if you are also attending to Ms Kitty then essentially put me down for 3-4, you want to play victim you just cut yourself out of Orgasms 5-11, which i can have with or without you and that's your bad....Oralmaster and some of the better bed partners for example, never have had an issue so please don't be pedestrian and Uncouth, we are in 2009, a black man is in office EFUCKINGVOLVE and quit giving that glib b.s about "it feels different"... uh.. FOR YOU.... Maybe

So It all started today with another call at work ...the past 2 days he's called me lots, I don't answer cause I was thinking it over and over and that's too much distance for a booty call that thinks he is your boyfriend instantly so whatever right?: But also before that he kept just texting nonsense, no plans, no nothing then no word for a bit then call call call so finally after this last call I tell Tai (we were chatting about ain'tshit thirsts one) that he called me and is nothing but 11 am and wtf right? so 2 secs after that he TEXTS am i ilingnoring him?

Me after consulting with Tai and giggling (we are trying to find redeeming qualities cause sure hot body but 1 hour and change distance is not the business and really TONI BRAXTON and that cling factor that I see coming a mile away and fucks with me: so I reply WHO IS THIS?

he says Ken, Silly

Not content with that he CALLS again I hustle him off the phone cause he is Bugging about Baby you forgot me already ?? when do you get off I want to see you Baby? I say PLEASE To hang up and text me cause I can't talk (and really should I explain FB ettiquette?) so he asks "can I come see you do you want to see me??": I reply very tepidly that i have stuff to do and uh No , maybe some other time

This Fool gets huffy and says: Riiighhhttt Lose My Number

(I'm thinking SWEET This was easy!!! : I hate any sort of parting ways situation, I really do)

I say: OK

he replies: I didn't even want to fuck you like that anyways

Q: Bwahahahah OK but who called who?

You know there was no come back from that Right??? I promise I cackled for a good hour about the incongruity of it all, I swear for God

** Our Gay Courier told me that Halloween is THE Highest Gay Holiday, I flatlined

This weekend chilling with my Mom, my aunts, my cousins and My nassy ass Grandfather the following things happened:

* My mom tells Mama that MAYBE she wants to forego all that ridiculous extra praying when she is dead and instead we can celebrate her life, plus Tia Lusy claims that she's prayed SO MUCH during her lifetime and waking hours that she should be all good, she agreed, My Stoopid ass Grandad wants to pipe in some shit about he wanna do the same and the WHOLE room side eyes him, then Tia Isabel replies: Uh NO you might want to start now and do twice a days and we won't soon be done the way YOU been living

Yes She did, and we all cackled and he did a shuffle all mealy mouthed and what have you... and I wasn't a bit sorry, they told him he shouldna have been Volunteering shit

* On that Topic Lua says that she wants my Grammy's Jewels when she is dead, Eva being extra says she wants the Calendar they now have hanging and some kitchen rags, Tia Isabelita Starts cackling that since my Gramma wears them HUGE ass chonnies (She has a "colon issues" pot belly But REAL skinny legs) that Maybe Tia Lusy should inherit those since at least we know she can fit the legs: I kid you not My Gramma complains that we are joking to much and acting supid and that's why she don't like us and proceeds to Lift up her whole dress and Holler ARE THESE TIGHT ENOUGH!!?!?! ARE THESE TIGHT ENOUGH!!! (they were) we were in tears cause the only thing Tia Lusy could say was : Damn that about 5 pounds worth o' Pussy

My Family is not right, I fucking know this

My boss is even worse; We've have 3 high profile cases back to back dealing with nasty ass pedos and the parents who beat them/defend them, gross shit but we divest our energies making fun of these assholes with a sick sense of humor: My boss has taken to hiding in corners and coming out jump saying: BOOO!! Night of the living Pedos!

Christ!; He also told the state in one case that there was no way so and so touched this kid's boob are cause she has none, that should he REALLY want to see some Boobs, His secretary is STACKED (that would be me) I came into his office with a letter opener ready to shank him

SO with that we go on to: Pick your team T-shirt and hedge your bets

I Want you to make an informed decision so I will tell you about my last 3 days/dates, and yeah they've been back to back and yeah I'm quite impressed with myself and the budding team

As I had previously stated we had been talking for a while before he called, but once he did it was on, he's made the point of calling/texting at Least once a day, wishing me a good morning etc, so he asked me last week for a date this past Saturday so we decided to meet up and go to this Dominican food joint, which ended up being REAALLLYYY awesome food and fun music, and some really delicious oldies... we got some nasty looks cause a WHOLE softball team of, yup D.R men were cavorting there, being drunken louts and dancing with each other so Yeeeaahhh that was fun ......NOT, we traded stories he liked that I was table shimmying and singing along and explaining dishes to him, he was very gentlemanly and complimented the most random of things; My eyebrows and my big purse as well as my hair :)... he is Not as tall as I like em, and he is attractive but in a rough way

....halfway through dinner he started getting touchy, then after dinner he Totally wanted to see spike cause he is as crazy about his dog as I am about mine, so he came and he literally went to the floor with spike then he came up with the idea of taking him to the beach after I had said I've never been there with Spicky... well Lord Spike Wailed the whole way there but he loved it he was doing his sideways run and getting grubby in the sand and barking at the waves which was sort of awesome.. so then he kissed me.. and he was a good kisser.. very very good... after that we went back to my place and he ummmm Ok let me put it blunty He gave me GREAT head til the cows came home, cause he lost his mind after he figures I have a clit ring... with barely any reciprocation, Noting else happened cause he sorta asked about he about my stance on sex, I told him condoms are a must... I MOST certainly didn't have his size, but I was also ok with letting things were they were, we kissed A LOT and YO! So . Much ink , all the while he was giving me a massage, a nice deep massage and after that we've talked regularly he asked me to maybe hang out Sunday with the kids, have Italian here at my place, while we see how the doggies get along, I'm down with that.

Pros

*He is SUPER sweet and nice

*Every time I say I like something (grapes, fairs, cotton candy) he says we will do that soon

*INK Oh lord Jesus he is covered in it (changes panties)

* Loves the doggies (I told you I melt over men who love animals)

*Gainfully employed (fedex seems to be a stable company)

* Great skills thus far (Wooooo Hooooooooooo... um whilst casually walking on the shore he said something about my ponytail and tugged at it a bit... very telling the fact that my pervy ass couldn't help going to the gutter with it and he liked that a lot )

*Consistency

*Notices the little things (after that massage he kept touching my face and just saying the nicest things)

* Very pretty eyes

* He is more emotionally expressive than I am (I'm swell with my friends, just guys are tricky for me, i can be physically affectionate and intimate, i just can't talk about shit so is weird when a dude says: I wish I was there with you talking and touching you")

Cons

*He lives fucking.far.com

*He is busssyyyyy ( classes half of Saturday and his work schedule is like 5-12, 3 hours off and then back on until 8.. every day, even holidays)

*He told me (not in pride, which I appreciate) that he doesn't read as much as I obviously do (that's a bit bothersome to me)

*He is NOT tall for me (barely cracking 5'9 .. again what is it with guys omitting this basic factual thing?) that might or might not Bug him more than me if at all possible cause he said that he appreciated my not wearing heels (to test that out, I said that I wore my highest ones today, he didn't flinch)

* He has a bio clock ticking on him cause he TOTALLY examined my niece/nephew and cousins pics and pronounced that if we had a kid it'd look like that too!

* He is more emotionally expressive than I am (LOL what? this is good and healthy but very difficult for me to dance around)

Oralmaster

We Hung out Sunday and by hanging out we mean we fucked each other's holy brains out, the man drew blood by texting me some real over Nasty Mc Nasty shit and I replied in kind with: "well, if we are in the granting wishes business then i might as well say that I LIKE it rought so by all means choking, biting and slapping is encouraged and welcomed" WHHHAAATTT?? what's the point of a Fuck Buddy if not to uh Fuck him well and viceversa, his response, not even 6 seconds later

I want assplay for both of us

Merry fucking Christmas! thought you'd never ask!

So he came, watched some football and I'm falling asleep cause he is playing with spike and football holds no interest for me but his junk definitely does so I focused on that and my investment paid up in spades, we didn't make it to the bedroom before delivering on all the yummy threats we made to each other... Oh God and just when I thought ok we're done he picks my ass up cock still in place and we go to the bedroom where he proceeded to do them other yum yum things he does... and to physically restrain me... Oh Yeah. Ba-Byyyy,he called me and spike crazy in the end but this is while he in fact leashed spike for his night walk, nice.. plus he is great for cuddling with all that hairy chesticle

Pros

*neatly fills in the spot left open from a certain so-and-so (btw the thought of when he realizes the cockblockage I've perpetrated sorta makes me giggle with delight and sparkles)

* Jesus!! Skills for days and nights and then some

* He is HAWT, just hot!.. and tall

* He is a perv and so am I, but we can cupcake after sex and kiss a bit, no self consciousness there!

*He does what I need him to do... very well (did we not set out for that?)

Cons

* Strong silent Type otherwise: I HATE SST with a passion

* uh.. THE SHITFIT, I can't deal with dudes that get their panties in a bunch about dumb shit that has been already discussed

HULK SMASH

I hate Tai for dubbing him so BUT he is Finnish, a Seafood Wholesaler, nice ad one of those people that talks very directly, cute accent, and had been checking in texting and calling all weekend, we agreed to a Monday date either Mangos or Cheesecake factory but before Monday talked several times and he told me a few bites about his life (he is 39, went to college in Cali, then moved here, single no kids, family all in Europe, so we traded stories on that, an aunt that lives around here)

When I got to Cheesecake Factory (wearing a certain "precious as a whore in church" dress, titties out and flats .. cause fuck by now I've resigned to the fact that i'm a giant, these mofos lie about height and SoFl is a town o Flakes) He arrived right behind me...... AND HE WAS HUGE

People he said 6'4 but in all honesty if had to be 6'5, 6'6 and just Massive NOT fat, just HUGE and nommy

so we had a great great great dinner talked about all sorts of things, drank Riesling, he told me about his job and I told him about mine, we ket getting closer but he kept a respectful distance, I fed him some of my chicken (I feed them all if left to my own devices.. My mother hen peeks its head that way), some asshole dating a huge chick (thing seemed fetish territory, something about his vibe) started giving me stank eyes towards the end, either way we never really stopped talking much and as foreigners we bonded over Past Love of Burger King (fact most foreigners ADORE us some BK, find Mc Donalds Repulsive), and how we don't really get the Holidays more so than as a day off, also we don't do football (YES)

So at the end he walks me to my car, whilst holding my doggie bag... and puts a hand on the small of my back .. Yall He is HUGE we tombout me in flats MAYBE mid chest?... telling me that we should do something very very very soon, like Halloween or something and sit there looking at the slutty drunks (all 3 guys don't drink per se ... NY and OM Not at all) and plants a HUGE, LONG KISS on me... like LONG Make out, like Im tilting n my tippy toes and he is bending and holding me in place: LE FUCKING SWOON (I havent dated a dude THIS tall in a Loooonnngg time but my Ex husband came awful close)

He texted me and called me after he got home to talk movies... we agreed to watch this movie that i have here (the Lives of Others) and we were to do this Friday or Saturday... except he called and texted me today asking what could he say to facilitate us seeing each other sooner so I got bold and told him to bring that Riesling bottle he has at home and I'm making rice beans and chicken, he agreed ONLY after I had said that he offers info about hanging out on his place Next time... his really extra ultra posh 3 pools terrace clubhouse condo by the Intercoastal.. so GREAT now I had to explain my place to him... ugh and tell him we are MOST certainly dealing with a smaller shittier scale LOL I did ask if he liked dogs (which he does) only cause Tai said the most fucked up thing about my little whoremonkey (I said we are arguably competing sluts, she counters that if he was a person he'd be a gay boy turning all the men gay for him.. I think she is right)... so I'm making yummy foodstuff tomorrow and fruits for dessert (he is a bit health-nutty) and fuck that whole "my apartment complex is a shithole" mentality... so I've cleaned, the place is sparkly clean and I will most likely judging by that kiss be in trouble

And I stocked up on magnums ecstasy

Pros

*HELLO He is HUGE, like Giant

*He was cool to talk to, lots of stories

* Accent

*39, got his shit together no kids

* GREAT kisser

* I was an ant next to him

* He is putting in the texts and calls (every day since I gave him my number)

Cons

*I'll get back to you on that, I'm sure there will be some, after all he is well off, Huge, Childless... but single? why? (Please please please God don't let it be a "skills" issue

So choose Heaux! (New Spelling as per Monie/Mia/La)

Ida Maria- Keep me Warm: she is so adorabelicious

Ida Maria- Queen of the World: Her whole cd gives me happiness, and Hello Glittery eyebrows?! Isn't that a fun trendfor the younger 20s?? Better whimsy than that Katy perry hack

Team freeze, The Silver Fox story thing and the rest of my weekend

2009-10-20T12:50:00.002-04:00

Hola Ya'll... I'm exhausted BUT I did make it to the gym, the impending ATL trip for NYE make it an Imperative that I Buck the fuck down (not with my eating as much as with my working out
anyways There is Much Much much to talk about, However thanks to the ladies this A.M for picking these shoes , for this Outfit (Monsters: You were the only one in team Booties!)
what?? is cold for the next two days... I was miserable at that moment cause I had came in from outside, all fresh from the shower and whatnot... Ohhhh This week I might get the Brazilian Hair thing done for sure, yup Mami and I are speaking again (UGH! , My aunts sorta forced the whole thing, funny I think both her and Cecil Missed Spike more than me, even funnier, spicky could tell how uncomfortable I was so Saturday he REFUSED to go to Mami's no matter how many times she begged and called him to her)

Ok I guess I should start day by day since we last spoke more or less

The Business of Oralmaster's Shitfit

All started cause I was talking to Richie, last 2-3 times we talked (remember I've blocked him and he doesn't have new number BUT as customary between us, he asks who/what I'm up to and to give him a breakdown and how they stack up against him, he also tells me about his shit, stuff I didn't ask

I tell him: Oh hey remember that site where you are, check it out tell me what you think of the profile?

we don't discuss it again then I see like 3-4 days later I have a review!/love note of sorts up in there and it was in fact, nice and just extra from Richie, as follows:

"Don't pass this woman up if you ever get the chance to meet her, I've never experienced the attraction or the magnetism or what she does , not before, not after, is hard to explain but that's all her, Miss you, See you soon as I can, Love, you always have a piece of my heart"

Now I'm not at all fazed about this cause that's all Richie for you, he always called me Love, Baby, whatever and we both can readily agree that stuff was the chemistry that dreams are made of, in fact he always expanded so much on that to his WIFE that she always wanted to see us together before and now as well(remember I nixed that?) well point is that this is typical as is the see you soon crap which he's been saying since..... almost 2 years ago, so whatever I still am not sure how to get rid of that comment cause, um is easily viewable, and whilst I love that boy I see how that could be construed BUT on the same token wtf do I care I want a play Partner for the team , tailored to my needs, not a boyfriend, if anything what got me was that it felt intensely personal

Cut to maybe last weekend? or was it .. Monday/Tuesday NIGHT, cause I recall having to call Tai over the outrageous-ness of it all:

O: Hey you

Q: Hey What's up

O: Not Much how is work?

Q: Good, busy

O: when do I see you again?

Q: (I had some sort of plans, PROBABLY date with Red which I had already made thusly I gave him the option of the date I wanted to give him) Well I don't know Friday.. Sat?.. if you come either one of those days is good cause we can let you crash if you need to, you know?

Why does this Motherfucker answers with the Saltiest most Out of place shit ever as such:

O: What? Is _____Coming to town???

Q: ROTFLMAO: ____is a friend, a friend who is married, whose wife knows about everything, this and a friend who does not live/stay/come visit here but it was nice that he stills remember whatever we did have, Plus... you can all verify that by simply shooting him an email (keep in mind I replied right away, were adults, he's not my man and he does have several chippies listed as his "friends" boobs cooters out and what have you, in fact I give less than a fuck cause again The intent is NOT a "relationship, right, but also I have nothing to lie about

O: Look I know you do your thing I'm not stupid

Q: so really what WOULD BE your issue here Sweetie? do we need to talk about this and air it out? actually i wouldn't outright discuss such a thing with you but I took it as tacit and again if I'm NOT involved with the dude you can take it or leave it.. it'd be a shame if you have to act like a kid about it though, since I AM having fun with you

I even considered it a loss cause I tried to call him and it went to voicemail and i left a rather sarcasm filled vm

THE NEXT DAY: Is when I changed my number and so I actually see him Online and he Talks to me cordial as you please and whatnot, tried to text me says I didn't reply but then I explained I had a number change, I'm also talking to 2 gfs online and if you've seen the Yahoo chat integrated on the e-mail It sucks! but somehow I end up just sort of replying to h instead of a chick but immediately explain what happen, give him the new number.. his answer??:

O: is _____going to be pissed that I got your new number

Q: looks dude Drop it and stay around Or don't and miss out, I have nothing to gain from lying to you or telling you shit, but keep in mind: YOU ARE NOT MY MAN and I don't owe you shit but I'm being completely forthcoming with you, take it or leave it

O: well, he left you that on October 9

Q: SO? I already explained to you, I told him a few days back about it being up, he has a profile there he checked it out end of story

O: well I gotta go wash the stupid Tattoo off my face

Q: Yeah go do that,moron, Bye

So we dont talk he tried to goad me into conversation throughout the week I ignore him and then Friday Saturday and Sunday he first Insinuates, then cajoles, then begs... and please trust that by "insinuation" night I was Not only Not answering but after a while I tell him is Gladdening to see we still talk, he asks if we stopped I reply, your hissy fit woulda have me believe we did the next two days he texted as though we were long lost Bffs and kept asking when would I see him, I inn turn kept evading, Tonight however I broke down, had us a Talk, he called me apologized proper then asked if he could bring dinner straight from work and shower

By around 12 or so I had some EXTREMELY fucked up pics we took last time... so wrong I cant possibly share ANY of them with the class.. ever!!, from angles I didn't even know existed or were being noticed (um a reaction shot to his giving me head... from his pov???).... Tai and Karrie brought in the jokes, and when I went to bed I got a message from him saying he: Will continue to strive to eat it better cause he wants me to pass out from coming

...So I guess we're Fwweeennnddzzz again

Truth be told it was a close call last night, Seriously this guy could teach a class, never before have I encountered such a thing! even with guys that were good in that department, he does it from any angle, all kinds of little things, minimal fingerwork, he'll give me some penetration but just as I'm getting there he takes it out and BAM! more freaking head, picks me like a rag doll, more penetration And all over again! It doesn't hurt that his body is nice or he is cute as hell or he is working with a great tool... add to that this thing that happened yesterday.....the incredible new thing that is definitely a "by request kink" and which let's me know if I'ma be fucked with this deal (him) so is he! Hehe!

He asked me to bite his cack

yup!, hard, on purpose, during head... nibble the length of him(funny sensation got ME really interested in the ladyparts) drag my teeth on him, close em around his shaft... Good thing I've read up on that mess or I'd be riding a fool to the E.R..... Read about it doesn't mean I'd done it before but he loooovvvvvveeeedddd it he asked me to do that again, I kind of relate though, everyone knows I take my sex with some abuse and pain.... ok,... A lot, is not that it doesn't hurt or isn't outlandish but ... it feels so so so so so so so good

Spike on the other hand was also in pig heaven cause they seem to like each other a lot and they talk aplenty and stuff, you know when OM is not actually hard being over the top on my poor systems!, God!, Mia Call me later and I was DONE, also couldn't get up to Gym today, I was however looking extra precious for no reason...

I Love this dress so much I got it in Purple too!( and yeah fishnets!, they are actually supposed to be with a garter... I think the dress is too snug for that and they stay high where they have to)

The Silver Fox Lunch

(this was also a good catalyst to the phone change thing, It happened hours Before me and Diya spoke about this Weezy business)

So Silver Fox had been calling me all weekend but silly me I Hadn't picked up til Monday or Tuesday whatever when he called me from the cell I DID have saved up on my phone

I really went back and forth for two days cause he kept asking me to lunch, so eventually he asks me to a place right on Las Olas called Samba Room (Extremely pricey for no damned reason, Divine Mojitos Though!) in the end I end up accepting cause is work hours, I can't stay long and is lunch (Karrie also enforces a strict : "Ain't nobody mad Boo Boo, get Cho Food"policy amongst us girls.. *sigh* I'm still smarting over that boy she's with tombout being "off our kufi list" and Glub Glub and shit)

I told him I'd just walk over from the bridge and meet him at the place, it was hot but not horrid and I was wearing flats, which is a rarity (with some kind of sundress thing, which Hellooooo is cold now WTF weather ?!?! Why?!) So I set out just ready to be friendly but not too much and let him down easy, and right when I get on top of the bridge like I'm the center I see him coming from his end to meet me (awwwwzzzz)

So he hugs me and we walk over to Samba Room I sort of point him to the location I came from he walks near me, not being fresh no nothing guiding me with his hand on the small of my back... we talked a LOT during lunch, about his kids, when he had them (late in life) what he had done on the weekend (Think lots and lots about me and be in Melbourne on his new place fixing things and thinking some more that he should have invited me !!! yeah i KNOW) about his first flash though about me when he first saw me (I'm just going to come strong, crass and bold) and how he recanted from that when I stepped out the car a smiley bitch and shit and how he thought "Oh God" I'm going to lose my marbles NOW", he asked what My Girls thought about the whole thing and I told him about the feedback, he said that had I in fact not batted an eleash, instead of having the adverse reaction I had he might have liked me less but my visible discomfort was all the more why he wanted me... He told me these things with shakey hands and we went on from topic to topic cause I told him, I don't want to talk about "this" after he asked me where did I want our next date to be... I sort of stammered for a while that this was a mistake, after that we switched gears and talked for a while, he actually walked me back to my half of the bridge, we talked til the bridge came down, he said he'd spare me the Bridge Kiss cause he knows I'm not that sappy and then he hug really hard, I gave him a cheek kiss that sort of went too close to the mouth... I knew then that I simply CANNOT do this I can't cause you knwo I stand to gain nothing from this other than a satisfied Daddy fetish (Oh Lord I Do, i'm not in the habit of lying here, i'd like that man old as he is to put some rules and regulations down and to smack that butt and what have you not) but there is much more to be lost than to be gained and I can do that with a single dude, I'm not about to interfere happy marriage or not so that's the story and by the time Diya and I texted I said: Fuck it and called tmobile, so that certainly addressed That and TC and Weezy having any access

Anthropologia Date NO

So then off I went after my pussy argument with OralMaster I went on this date

WHewwwww I mean he was Nice... Lord bless him he even brought me wood earrings which was nice and he is well read, and super smart, a professor of anthropology , however... his pics were from maybe 20 pounds ago when he wasn't growing muttonchops, he was one of those guys that EXHAUST ME with too much talk about weird shit, like I want a well read dude and an interesting smartie pant, I like em well travelled but when these are things said:

I go quickly and deeply into relationships

I have lived with Tribes that do not have a word for "white man" other than as devils, so Imagine me running in the bush and people coming up to me

I spent ramadan at the Medina wearing white cloth

I thought of becoming a Quaker is a quaint cute way of living

We should go camping to the eveglades (FUCK NO)

Bajai'i is a great set of beliefs don't you think?

I loved his prose, it was enchanting

My thesis was in conflict resolution amongst indigenous tribes, you know wife buying and stuff like that as well as cattle

I Like Palm wine, it has a smogasboard of tastes

Morrocco was enchanting (if I don't ever hear a man say that word again I'd be too lucky)

The best of the best was: He was wearing Birkenstocks with High waters... i MAKE fun of people like that I kept thinking Boy you are cute, you need a makeover... But then I though Nah he is old enough to know better and he is more militant about SoFl Materialistic styles than I am AND he asked if I'd like to go to a drum circle and drum circles are just NOT a dating thing I'd like to explore, I already once had to go to a deadhead bar and that's as crunchy as I'd like to go, thanks!: I did write him an email telling him so, he replied that he sensed it and that either way I was a "groovy" chick!

The sweet guy that I won't be doing

That was another date, Saturday, That went bust for a few reasons, including the sun not cooperating and the fact that although he was super wordy but not too much (a great balance of sarsam as well) and he was very very cute about the face, seemed personable and all that (not much taller than me RATS!) plus we were having great convo, he kept being preocupied with what he would/wouldn't eat

... and this was cause he lost weight... I though a few pounds but it was actually 220 pounds, by himself, diet and exercise... god Bless him, but he also told me he gained some back over the summer cause he wanted a "normal" time with his friends ( I Honestly can't have someone fuck more with my neuroses and my own food/weight issues)... the kicker here is: Boy needs a Bodylift... he stated this after he took off his shirt at the beach..... Oh God I won't be mean but I will tell you is the weirdest thing ever to see muscles underneath skin that's sagging and seeing nipples not be where you expect them to be at... And as I told Mia and Karrie, if I consider doing him out od "awwwzzz" as opposed to "grrrooowwwlwllll Come'here Tiger I NEED to have you" then who the fuck Am I? the Florence fucking Nightingale of sex??? so : NO

Definitely IN the team, all he needs to do is Behave

Enter the dark Horse (or very pale redheadish one... I told the girls he looks like that Dbag Wes from RW/RR challenges BUT also weirdly young... a lie of the devil cause that man has 10 years on me) This guy has been emailing me for the past 3/4 weeks getting more and more urgent by the sec then this was the 2nd email of the day since he saw me online I guess.. at this point I don't know me, he doesn't know me and I don't give a fuck to be too nice, also he lives not far but Miami far so I'm like Pish posh ( that in truth had been my reason to nix him, nothing else cause some of the girls that got previous shot of his body/cack really did appreciate

Sender: XXX To: Q Trust me Please, give me a chance Queen!.... I can please u better than any little loser in here and why would you want them anyways, come on!
-----------------------------------------

Sender:Q To: XXX Persistent aren’t you? And now you are rambling nonsense, what do you want? Hmm?, I'm listening so it better be good, you’ve got an hour of my time then I’m blocking you

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sender: XXX To: Q Okay, We need to meet just one time, and you will not regret meeting me. Trust me, no one can please you better than I can... I KNOW this And I am a nice guy...So can you give me a chance and Meet me??
--------------------------------------------- This was before I even had a chance to respond
Sender: XXX To: Q Sexy, How about this? Let me buy you lunch or dinner today. Then, after we talk...maybe back to my place for some fun. But I do warn you...you will become addicted to me. Let me know...
------------------------------------------------
Sender:Q To: XXX Sure, I'll play "dinner" with you.....Sure, but a) you're kind of a drive away to say the least b) everyone is a "nice guy" til the flake out c) I'm not trying to waste time or have someone one time, I want someone that I can text, and he'll come and deliver, and that I'll be so good that I don't have to kick him out, that possibly I won't need extra guys.. if you are busy playing around or tend too bullshit around too much etc then is best we don't meet, I am not a very patient woman and I have a short fuse
---------------------------------------------

LOL... Wow, you are something... awesome! Well, I think we are looking for the same things. I really do. I agree, I want someone to call and talk to and find that she can be there for me and I can be there for her as well. I am looking for an ongoing sexual relationship. If we happen to evolve into more, I could possibly handle that with the right girl. So, let's talk. XXX XXX XXXX (Cell) See, you can text me now...LOL

-------------------------------------------------

Clever, I'll see about that, I'm still about to block you
-------------------------------------------

No No wait, look dinner by my place, Outback, no strings attached, we talk we vibe, and if you want I show you my place, every room in it, shoot my bills!! so you can see I'm who I say I am And, we are only 30 minutes from each other........not far. I will wait for your call/text/response. And yes, you will not need other guys and you will not want to kick me out.....trust me, I’m going to do everything possible so that doesn’t happen And I promise, I am not bs or a timewaster. We will have fun...I promise you! OK??

--------------------Hmmmmm------------------------------

Ok, fine, dinner at 6:30, Outback and IF i like you we can talk more about in fact, making anything else happen, be there on time or I'm leaving

-----What? I'm extra bold... Horny too and in a "don't give a fuck mind... bite me--------------

Sooooo I end up going there and meeting him and keep in mind temps dropped like a mothafucka overnight and shit... Why this fool is sleeveless???? wearing his NC football attire, I of course chide him about it (no I wasn't dressed up, just comfy but he had no SLEEVES!!) he says is perfect Football weather and that he loves it, of course he is from NC and has CUT shit his whole body you can sort of see is, Bangable... really fucking BANGABLE

And then we get there and he smells delicious, and we sit in a Booth, we're able to watch the game (but i'm not facing the tv and I don't care cause ... Uh I don't Follow Football, I don't get it, It makes me sleepy and I find it boring when not outright completely hard to grasp... Fact: I get a seesaw of dudes every season, sometimes (and those I love) they have ZERO interest in Footbal, or they are superfans: A Man wearing NC Blue would be... also why with him , and Married Boy is been that Every dude I meet from NC thinks Baby blue is like an acceptable hue to try to incorporate in their "fashion/life" to levels of the ridiculous??? BUT this is not what I wanted to talk about: he actually did something I LOVE

let's explain; I HATE booths cause they either don't give you too much space, plus I HATE that sitting arrangement for a one-on- one date HATE IT, in fact i'm known for asking Bfs to sit next to me which is so UGH! when the booth won't accomodate 2: so Then he actually asked me (with that nice accent too *swoon* Q why don't you seat next to me please?

Yes, of course!

Well after that except for his Practicing my name several times during din-din and Not cause he didn't know it but cause he wanted it to sound "right" he actually never called me Q or anything again... anything other than "baby" or "babe", as in:

Oh look babe, they are going into overtime

or

Easy with the water Baby, you are gonna need bathroom trips for life (I explained to him that Im a HUGE notorious water drinker and that I need to have at least 3 glasses with my meals)

or

Babe, can I take you out dancing... I know you said you are not a clubs person but I want to take you to Blue Martinis and stuff like that?

o_O, you know me and plan-making guys... sometimes they weird me out sometimes I roll with it, this time I did, and he kept explaining football things to me and having convos while whispering to my ear (cause of the noise People!!) and then I don't even know what he asked me but i answered and his reply was a mumble : "God you are Perfect"... I said: What was that? but I heard him I was just being extra(he had shitloads of questions, BTW he is an armed forces recruiter, he is SOLIDLY built and he was once married, has dated black women, also asked some weird ass question about was it ok to touch my hair without open consent, he asked me why was I married and divorced so young he told me his story, he asked why didn't I have kids, and a slew of other really deep extra stuff).. also what are they feeding dudes like him and Oralmaster, he looked SO young that I didn't get carded but HE did, and he DID look like a Baby... even though he is 37

He asks me if I want to go to his place and by then we'd spend a long time there, we are holding hands under the table and not really talking, I ask what's on his mind and he whispers: You... I'm glad I kept trying

Awww

So we went to his place: Huge and Spotless and beautiful and I had a hard time believing he lives there by himself, My whole place is probably his living room, he told me he goes quite a bit to Miami, so he'd like to come see me as often as I'd let him (we'll see) and then DUN DUN DUN He plays Toni Fucking Braxton! before we moved the action to his bedroom bwahahahahhahahahahahah Who does that???!??!?!, never mind the generic R&B responseI sense he likes a chick that does the club popular music thing so it was funny at the restaurant that Fesit came on and I'm all singing he goes : NuhUh you don't know that song! I had to repeat 3 time the word Rock and Indie: i think he almost had a coronary, this should be interesting, sex was DELISH and Yup he did NOT lie about things being ON POINT and him doing everything in his power to make me very pleased, god his body was sick!

... and he scared me shitless when he hugged me to him and said: "My baby es una mujer Loca"

HUh!?? What??

Funnariously he showed me those bills as promised with his full gov. name, showed me every corner of the house, where his uniforms were and all of that as well as other stuff, he then wrote me directions to easily find my way out cause my phone was tripping and I can't see at night, while he did this he tapped kissed me and kissed my shoulder all the while I though: ummmmm asss: What? I had my hands Busy-like!

I think he'd straddle the borderline of dating/fb thing just nicely But as a Con I STILL do believe he lives too far, yet I see how someone driving from WPB to Miami would think of this as Nothing serious distancewise , I need him not to scare me and give me LOOOOOTTTSSS of space but I think that's what I'd place him in, Oralmaster though.... Hmmmmppphhhh pure unadulterated sex, I think we cuddle just to see who makes the first move to draw blood

(P.S : Is always me, I always get greedy, impatient, I am not following whatever game is on tv and you can't give me stuff like that and expect me to sit quietly)

NY rounds it up for now (as In I got a couple more dudes I'm looking as date/hang out things)

He Is my final guy and this is more of a dateable guy although to be honest i'm ok dealing with either of the previous two going there, only difference is that this one isn't on the team primarily as sexual relief, and he was not introduced that way at all, but he works a lot, weird hours at that (fed-ex) and yet cause I'm not pressed for time we've talked on and off for a while (2 months) so I'm not rushing it... however just this past week it's intensified to the point we were on the phone or texting and making a plan to hang out solidly for this coming weekend and stuff, he is Sweet, divorced, brolic, inked up, not prissy, has a Puppy called bear (a little doggie too, he likes em little) , Loves my accent to the point i KNOW he is making me talk just cause I like his as weel (aause short of a southern accent of SOME cases.. see above I'm a Northern accents person... sounds cleaner to my ears.. i don't like Mine, or other Hispanic people too much except Argentinians, Chileans, Uruguayans, and Ohhhh my all time faves British/ aussies... yeah I'm an anglophile, bite me), so we talk a lot, he calls texts throughout his day, good shit!

I know busy and devilish but hey! I wanted set of books!, gotta do the weeding work

Bat for Lashes- Horse and I : I fucking love Natasha To bits and pieces

Rachael Yamagata- Sunday Afternoon: *swoon* Lyrics People! Lyrics!, shit the more I listen to her double disc (Elephants... Teeth sinking into Heart) The More I love her

Scissor Sisters- Take your Mama Out; Christ This thing brings such a Smile to my face, is old But I NEEED Jake and Anna and Babydaddy and Del to come out with something SOOOOON I love how campy and trippy this whole thing was is so extra... THEY CAME OUT OF EGGGS!! Golden egs... wearing a lederhosen type of shit... watermelons are singing, he has a Cock's tail!

AHHH Man

Beirut- St> Apollonia: i love them so much (listening to Florence and The Machine's cover of Their Postcards from Italy is what got me into their stuff)

Quickie pre date

2009-10-15T17:56:00.002-04:00

I'm going to drink sake and have sushi and pad thai with Red (do the carpets match the drapes??)

But I HAD to come back an tell you:

I went to lunch with Silver Fox, it was PAINFULLY obvious that I can't Touch this, i sorta told him, his hands were shaking, he was just perfect in every way, but I can't do that just cause I have an eternal old man fetish (he was so sweet, so so sweet though)

I was taking bets about how soon Mr. Weezy would come back on his Bs but rather than do that Diya got in my head about blocking numbers... I have his shit blocked but i DID call tmobile and they told me they CANT block texts.... as such my last option because quite obvious..... I CHANGED MY NUMBER! (which solves that and TC and Silver Fox)

Do a happy dance with me won't ya?? can you imagine?!?! can you please Imagine?!!??!?!

anywhoooo and i the worst reversal of Fortune eveeeerrrr Oralmaster is acting like a jealous ass bitch and is so petty and stupid that Today I HAD to close my messenger as follows: Look Dude IF you get over it contact me otherwise do what you gotta do... you are not my man but i have ZERO need to lie to you about something so retarded... if not is a shame we'd be missing out fun over YOU

Why you ask?: Over stupid ass richie rich leaving a grandiose love-note review thing .. ugh I'll tell you later, ok??!?

Gotta get ready

Love this though! Sia Made a cover of The Church's Best song

Under the Milky way Tonight

Howl: a Story of Sex, mice, ridiculousness and my weekend

2009-10-13T16:05:00.004-04:00

This weekend I had A Date that was sweet, Oralmaster!!, woke up out of my nightmare to a text from my manita sent that very second and so we stayed up from 4am til 6 my time, we also are going to be together with La and Monsters for New Years Eve.. .In ATLANTA! I’m buying my tickets Tonight I think! Is So awesome

And My manita Mia Coached me (With her Mommy) on the phone about catching a LIVE FUCKING MOUSE... I was about to have a panic effing attack it was the worst thing ever I kept sweating and crying but that motherfucker wouldn’t move or budge and she kept telling me to fucking focus while telling her mama I was crying (cause I was) .,.. But a true sister that one is, she made me do it she said WE ARE SINGLE GIRLS WE DO IT ALL!

And so we did!, but just thinking about it now I feel the nausea coming back, anyways done with that, you didn’t come for that, you came to see about your Animal Friend

Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack
My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallow'ed ground

Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins
I want to find you, tear out all of your tenderness

And howl, howl
Howl, howl

(Florence and the Machine - Howl)

That so would be me! I would be good to walk around with warning signs hencefort

SO when we last left our Villainess (Oh please don’t think you’re rooting for the good guys here, friends, I Mean I might endear myself to you, love you even But we are the Bad guys here) the Foolishness that is Weezy was on the phone with her, talking about “Hey Sunshine” and shit (I made him repeat that line with such HIGH offense.. I really couldn’t understand him, that’s how stuffy he sounded) so called me and wouldn't stop, I got off the phone, he called again...he said:
“You might as well come, come late so you WONT meet my mom but if you don't you and I both know I won't stop calling you or texting you, so you got choices, you can come now or later when she’s gone, and we can talk like people, I need to know what is it that you need”

So I half heartedly agree to meeting up later, he insists I come and stay, thing is THIS type of shit woulda been a CUTE option to have had, say... 3-4 years ago, now it just seemed like we were two kids being forced to play nice, and like he was just grasping at straws .....it was SO MOTHERFUCKING UNSETTLING

So yeah I get there and funny shit that happened while I waited for him, cause rather than buzz me in he wanted to come down and get me and get stuff from his car (and I had to share this with him) as I wait for him, some ghetto bird with 3 ugly snotting children came in, 2 girls and a boy, do-rags, hair bonnet the whole 9... one of the girls is named Asia, the other one Paris......I could Barely contained myself as I wondered out loud if the boy's name was London or something HA!

Anyways he comes down, we go to his car (and again he keeps throwing Spanish to me here and there?? First time ever) So he is trying to Talk to me, but I’m barely looking at him as I'm trying not to slap the flavor off of him ......I don’t know if he notices I do that but I’m not just an Eye Closer during sex (better able to get in my zone where all it matters is MY pleasure.. Manita Loved to hear this shit, she called and blasted me on Facebook) but generally speaking I don’t look at dudes to much, I mean sure if I’m observing them from afar whatever, but someone RIGHT in front of me noooooo whatever??? .... I don’t think I can very much, I mean I s a privacy thing with me, I get riddle with the dudes that want to stare like you’re a porkchop and I’m ok with that so long as I don’t have to return the favor, is like tuning them out helps me keep a bit of my personal space.. I’m weird, thanks!

So I don't really look at him.. But now we’re riding an elevator with other people and he comes Reeeeaaalllyy close and threatens me with slapping my ass really hard when we get to our destination ( he says this to my ear) I'm looking straight ahead telling him to shut the fuck up, rather loudly too.... we get to his place and I go place myself a whole couch away from him then I'm in a WHOLE other couch playing with his cat and then he's like playing video games telling me he'll show me one I can play: I who hasn't played a console game since Galaga and tetris

Point is he keeps telling me to go to his couch, and I keep acting like I’m not listening , whatever, all this time I'm acting rank and salty as hell and uh COLD he is trying to be god knows why I don't see the reason for this cause is awkward as hell, he is talking to me showing me this game and navigating this console and I’m on the other side , he is telling me about the cat and how he has these nasty pigeon on his balcony and the cat wants at em’ etc etc etc ... and This is what he wouldn't stop texting all day for? and the thing is when he called he also threatened bs, he's done it before that I'm on dates or with my family and it won't stop, ignoring him doesn't work neither does telling him to go fuck himself, I have seriously considered getting someone and throwing her in his face, but I don’t have gfs I’d want to do this to and also how could I place an ad for this ?? I don’t know I’m still thinking cause I think Maybe if he had a chippy there all the time he’d stop bugging me, I don’t think there are other stipulations to him dropping me If I could find this big titted big assed vestal virgin, that's cute has her job, is "sweet” or whatever the fuck he wants I'd so send her his way cause short of getting himself a piece I don't know when or how he's going to leave me be, Tai asked if it was like it went past FB to him, I said I truly didn’t know I mean I HIGHLY DOUBT this is anything more that a power play thing for him and about control, he always wants to know how I want things in bed to a descriptive detail, and he’ll do it but I think is just about having that sort of power over somebody, so whenever I cut him off and flip him the bird that whole lacking control of the situation combined with the fact that by now we KNOW what to do and how to do it to each other, fucks with him hard, but I truly do want to cut him out so sincerely.. Truly so... he is just a mess and is not that I fall for it as much as I’M SO INCREDIBLY, RAVENOUSLY, DISTRACTEDLY Horny.... Christ I wish it was different (oh but guess what I got my period sure as clockwork yesterday!)

so then he has me play some racing game ( how fucking riveting) when I got tired of his little cheesy encouragement and of sitting next to his big ass I simply drove my car right into a rail or something and it wouldn’t come out. End. I “play” my round, go back to my couch he's like:

“sit here, mama”

"Nah! I'm comfy here"

He stands in front of me and says: “Look We gotta talk”

“no we don't, i'm here stop the Bullshit”

“No cause I want us to be on the same page and if you don't tell me what you want then I won't know”

“Well I want you to leave me alone since This is not for the best, I want more sex with someone Nice and I don't want a superproduction so we're done talking”

“Are we cool”

Uh Sure whatever”

“ NO cause you don’t want to deal with me anymore,. What’s up with that”

“ um, Reality” (I’m Such a Mealy mouthed Bitch)

I'm sitting looking elsewhere and he's still standing in front of me, then My downfall: Q.. I'm not a mean guy I don't know why you would say that....

(I still won't reveal my facebook info and I won't, a lady can't reveal sources!) so i mumble: Relatively speaking or compared to Satan

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??

I asked you where can I throw this bottle

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY

If you won't tell me then I'm making my way to the kitchen

now he blocks my path but I go the other way find me the trash can, throw my bottle...and he blocks me in the kitchen

What did you say?

NOTHING DUDE! I’m good, we're good end of story

I push to move he grabs me by the arms then neck

No we're not cause you don't want to see me

(now he kisses my neck and lips and is pushing me against the counter)I can mumble some but he is really sorta kissing me and not allowing for much movement cause ... well Hell he has me pinned up! I tell him this whole situation is going nowhere and Is not very grown up either he asks why do we have to be grown ups, now he snuck his hands between my shorts and is asking me do I have a change of clothes (HE thinks I'm spending the night, we know better.. And he Intended to rip them.. No Boy stop!)I said No and I ask if he just needs me to take them off he says we are not having sex... yet

Except one thing leads to the other and the makeout turns ugly and clothes are sorta coming off and I do give him some head and that's only after he spends good 20 minutes nose deep in me after picking me full up and putting me in the counter to eat and eat and eat like there is no tomorrow

*sigh*

Whatever, we go back to watching tv, / playing wii or whatever that thing was now he says we'll watch a movie and can I PLEASE just sit next to him UGH! This guy apparently can read (yep what a surprise the man spells like a 13 y. o chonga in a hurry but he has a shitload of books that I'd find very interesting and I’d ask to borrow but that would imply giving them back and shit) but he has a HORRID taste in movies, he watches Rom Coms (which I hate with a Vile bilious hate), and silly shit like G Force and shit Ugh! our selection for the evening..... The Ugly Truth with that dislike able shrew Heigl chick and Gerard Butler looking like he has wads of paper in his mouth whilst butchering an American accent

Gross

But before the movies... More head for me WTF?!?!? so that's how we are watching movies Donald Duck Styles with no pants, and that shit was funny to me, he is very close to me but I won't let him cuddle up I keep moving and my arms are folded cause I'm THAT uncomfortable (you'll see how fucking weird this is in a minute) so he keeps slapping my thigh and cackling, I didn't find that movie hardly funny at all, maybe smirk worthy but not guffaws like he was having, like you’d think it was a fest of giggles and shit eventually I let him put his head on my shoulder

After the movie I pick up my pants cause I am Fucking leaving but Noooooo he prevents me from grabbing my pants and more head noms for me and sex sex sex sex sex we had sex forever, more so than the usual, even for us that was a whole effing lot, he kept telling me he was paralyzed but he'd find a way to crucify me in some weird position . He then asks if I love this dick and all that stupid rhetoric and did he make up for my annoyance so far I told him I wasn't mad I just want us to be done (did I mention we're trying to hold a conversation while he's servicing my lady bits?)

So anyways he THEN asks can I get a promise that you won't send me those texts again??

I'm NOT sending you shit I'm replying to your constant assault

Well can I get a promise, or are you doing this so I fuck you stupid every time I see you

NO you cannot and you Know I’m not I don’t need excuses for that, you ass... I don’t think we'll keep doing this indefinitely and is stupid

He picked me up airborne sex was had Blahblah blah he keeps talking shit Shoot at some point the going got REALLY rough let's just say Rape-play worthy, like I slapped him and what have you whatevs.. in the end he said: Jesus we've NEVER had THAT much good stuff Huh?!

as I'm draining a water bottle, he had jokes about how at least he’s not made out of water... *side eye* I went took a shower and psyched him out at the last minute I told him: I'm out... I catnapped in the parking lot cause is like 3 am all things said and done and he texted me about "was I talking Bochinche with my gfs" (oh cause manita called me and gave me a tongue lashing, for the record, manita I couldn’t have picked up when you first called cause I was in an extremely compromising position) I said NO that I had Napped on the lot but was well on my way home, he answered that I shoulda stayed, the yesterday Texted me about his legs still hurt : I said Well you should have picked my big ass up (163 WHOLE POUNDS OF ME BUT YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK EM, HIM AND Oralmaster want to act big Willie styles about knocking a few Orgasms and Growls out of me ... By all mothafucking means Boo boo... Do me and do YOU!)...mine do to so next time Use a bed like decent people

...... I can't do that "him" thing too often, seriously that was the Mindfuck to end all mindfucks, and I rather not repeat that anytime soon, very unnecessary even as it was Delicious....

Tai had jokes about calling him Lifetime Team Member

karrie said: I see ya'll gon get married and have kids.. Um Eww NO! but either way that whole thing woulda been cute/endearing/nice Shit even WANTED 3-4 years ago... Now?? I felt awkward and forced even though he insists that it wasn't.. blah blah blah , I don’t like him putting them options on the table acting extra desperate for no reason and to no end,is not like a “better” arrangement or anything I suspect he just wants the availability... let’s test this out, next time I REPLY (no I’m STILL not contacting him, I don’t contact anyone hardly ever with a penis, not of my own initiative) but at the last minute let me act like my period came or something else? And play it that way , excuses/ headaches/brokedown car etc etc

By contrast I had THE most delectable night with Oralmaster the next night Oh Yeah AND a sweet nice chilled out date with a super tatted up nice hefty dude on Sunday and uh THAT dude was an excellent kisser but that’s where things stayed... just a date, Peruvian big meal, sat there while he watched football and petted both me and Spike (lately all the guys score big with Picky.... (he still hates the downstairs bitch with a ferocity I’ve never seen him display towards a woman), kind of would want to see if he is team worthy, not sure.... something or other lingering beneath...I DQ’ed the 25 year old cause nah wtf I can’t bring myself to do that and really is like I’m opening a daycare center the way these lame ass 20 year old tools keep hitting me up, no!

Oralmaster ain't slick, just right after I tell Mia after that 12 rounder Friday how I'm going to need a freaking hit of the sex pipe (for me that's the bad, if sex was good/great I NEED more VERY SOON)

So Oralmaster texts me Saturday Afternoon saying “Hello Doll”

Hello Guy what's on your mind?

Your Pussy

Well Who am I to deny the people that do things oh so well!

well come on over, so I can think of a few things I could do about that myself

I'll be there in 20 minutes

and it was OOOOONNNNN So Very On my friends!... better than last time, we just went sooooo wrong and bad and filthy...(which he later told me he LOOOOVVVEEDDD) but this is the real effing kicker, between rounds 2/3/4 we’d go back to the couch ( golf this time) and he’d cuddle me up and kiss me and I’d just lay there on top of him on the couch, or craddled up in a way I could touch his situation etc, tooooo much fun, too much adult biting sucking licking delish skin tasting F-U-N, no seriously he hit my head when we were moving around... I suppose, from .. Er... some 69 related position, he asked me if I was ok I said: Um a Beautiful man is giving me head and he won’t let me return the favor, all I can do is touch his cock, Um Yeah never been better, continue on!

There was more of that inverted position and all kinds of bad bad bad shamefully filthy things and then we went back to the living room, we caught The Departed which he hadn’t seen so I tried to explain some of it this time he grabbed my pillow put it in my chest, called spike and cuddled up on top of me on the couch while I played with his hair and scratched his back, it was rather nice, was also quite noteworthy that on both my dates I had zero problems with cuddling, I just have Weezy related problems is all.

Oh and get this today the Silver Fox won’t stop calling and texting me about doing lunch this week at the Samba Room, the Samba Room has delicious Mango Mojitos with Sugarcane sticks... *sigh* NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO we're not doing this and besides my boss and the former intern are still giving me such a huge amount of shit about it!, however the Redhead (who I was NOT going to email as he requested me to) emailed me punctually at 8 am, called me a Beautiful bookworm, heh! he asked me out for this week, dinner or something.. Um I NEED to do the gym if dudes are going to wine me and dine me indiscriminately

Moloko- Pure pleasure Seeker: That would be so me, oh yeah!

Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Heads will roll: Essentially there is No wrong that That crazy goddess Karen O can do to me, as such here I am !

I would recommend all of you to have FUCKINGCRAZYAMAZINHOTMESSESS weeks like mine...

2009-10-09T21:26:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah Baby!!! if you all did then the week would go by flying and you'd be too up to your neck in fuckery to care about bad shit that happens in Life, I don't know exactly where to start but let's say that I'm Too Through!

I paid off my car (new card no APR for ever, not that much left but this way i can chunk deuces to a big coverage on that stuff maybe free up some money! WEE!)

Firstly let's have a Nail Appreciation, I found the most perfect blue for my nails from Sally Hansen and I'm so. In.Love (Blue Me Away)

And this or Yellow should be the companion to that

Anyways Beloved!... Salutations (as one little heffa recently told us via email)

The team building exercise is going full force weeding folks from the Deluge ... Oralmaster has been sure to check in from PR,with a room picture and he came back today I believe... Oralmaster has been described as "Made out of NOM" (side eye to Gem on that! is NOM a food group or like vitamins and minerals?) and remember I still think his pictures are shitty as hell

These two
43 and not too bad on the conversation I would say and
25 (Ugh) but I've been telling him to mind himself around me cause I don't like 25 year old bullshit , he said he understood and is not being extra has his own business and club work to worry about... lets give it up for them pecs? he told ME that we are going on a date on Monday (lives close to my place but has a roommate .... hmmm this definitely is a "we'll see" thing)

and the one that's extra goopy and nice (but his weird work schedule skeeve me out as do his non answer-answers) keep progressing along, I'm not all pressed on that but It must be my kickasslicous nailpolish and this butt who has not seen the gym since monday.. and yet I feel rather extra good, did my hair last night, have been sleeping in every day, 2-3 weeks of No Mami policy has cleared out my skin too and my tatas are rather juicy as well.. my period must be hollaing soon I suppose
(however this here pups balances that out by loving me no matter what)
... but I was prime for trouble, right? Perfect

And then enter Richie and his B.S (I blocked him alright already but he spent the day yesterday making me feel bad his marriage with the Tittacular one ( those shits are like... Porn star huge,and she is a petite black chick... a cute chick no less!) is floundering cause no sex is being had and she knows exactly way, inasmuch that she invited me to spend some time with them in their new home ( I told you FB is a fruit of the Devil's left nut)...NO Ma'am so after a while i blocked him, is better that way, really I can't touch that shit.

Why oh Why this morning on my drive to work I get into the MOST ridiculous Situation, which netted me these.... The shrews at the office ate a few with a Silver Fox (Dad I'd like to Fuck) about Mami's age if not more, that looked kind like sexy but the kind you could maybe be ass paddled by and call "daddy"

*sighs*

Let's commence yes?

I'm placidly driving to work and car dancing and shit and I notice this cute but older dude in a sporty ass car hauling ass right next to me... 2 lights later he waves I nod back, (hey what he was cute respectful and hollering some shit or other ) he says You Are fast are you that hard up to get to work?

Yup Beating the boss, how about you?

No I'm the boss

Oh so you'd be trying to beat one of the peons like me

LOL Maybe... what's your name

Who wants to know?

Don

Ok I'd tell him but I'm rushing to put gas

2 more lights I think i've lost him and I go do gas, and who should come and try to pay for gas?

Yep Silver Fox himself ( I notice very clinically that if mami is 60, so should be he, and he looks like what I think is old but trim and cute, nice Nautica shirt pants fall nicely) he says Oh wow you're prettier when you stop moving... can i get that for you?

No is good, do you make a habit of flirting with strangers in the morning? (God Bless My manita forever for that line)

Only if you make a habit of breaking hearts and the speed limit before 9 am

Oh then I'm guess you're a dog, you!

Do we have time for coffee or breakfast??

Oh wow look at you!, I don't like coffee Don, you know this.....

Right but I also know you can be a little late, where do you work?

Downtown, criminal law place

Oh So do I but I'm a Patents Lawyer

Cool, las Olas?

By YOLO (You Only Live Once ......Fancy place giant drinks) so why don't we stop by the Dunkin Donuts and I force some coffee down your throat?

.....wellllll... ( ah come on you guys know me, I can't resist certain situations! The will of a free falling coconut!, plus we're in broad daylight and I'm a good fight) I AM heading that way anyways

Ok Come on princess!

Ok I'm following you, only a few minutes (and he offered to finish pumping gas)

So we get to the DD, people about fall off their seats cause is so extra, we are flirting and he is old and I'm not, he and i do not stop talking and he wouldn't stop staring, we talked about back home, and his back home (Pittsburgh) and he keep saying Jesus you are just stunning, what do you do all day in an office? what do you do all weekend?, what do you like to eat.. Oh wow you are very beautiful and I'm not Buttering you up, you are, I don't lie

I also grin first then cackle at the mention that he has two college aged daughters and then I say Oh since I'm here I should get some donuts for the girls

No I've got it! I sure would every day if it gets me 15 minutes of your time

.... and next thing you know it s effing 9 am and I want to hustle out... he hands me his card... but before he does he puts his hand over mine and tells me....

I told you I don't lie and , i won't Q... I'm married... But I do want to take you out and treat you out to something nice... I promise you only have to think about it this once and there is no time I can't spend with you, of your choosing, we can have fun, I could enjoy more of your company, see you for lunch, whatever you would want

Oh Don That's Bad Bad Bad , rather horrible on your part

No No I wouldn't put you in the middle of anything but .. a long hard situation to explain and... well is there but it's not and (memo to self, Is SoFl : ask about Status first, warrants second, and also if you should shack up with anyone in your ranch, do make sure you'll stay happy cause now this is double sads for Team Marrieds in 2 days) blah blahbalh

Well Sweetie thanks for breakfast, the ladies will love you for it

Please seriously think it over the weekend

No Honey but this was fun! (I'm apparently quite the entertaining date)

and Off I wet to work with donuts! ....My boss too such great delight on this story that he told his wife and our former girl intern the story, she demanded to be put through the phone to me and then asked to see if we could stalk him on the Florida Bar page, she then told me to take her off speaker and asked if I would, I said no , she said truth be told I don't mind his marriedness as much as his age... I said to me the age is fetish material but the status is like dating one of our clients AKA Revolting

So in my desk eating my ill gotten gains awhile doing some flirtations with a certain Orally gifted one ( we made some vague plans to hook up over the weekend ........YEESSSSS... I'm seeing my whoremoans weee! in utter joy)

So I attempt to 'work' after a run to the courthouse (and My knee is hurting soooooo horribly, I think the cold weather is fast approaching :(

So Weezy sent me 2 texts Monday

1 Tuesday

3 Wednesday

I’ve yet to say a thing ... then yesterday he bombs me with 8-9 texts asking eleventy million different ways for me to come, By 9pm he gets “angry” first telling me that I coulda come and gotten mine over and over by now that I have to understand he’s been sick with the flu blah blah blah... I STILL don’t say shit

at 10 or so it downs upon him I’m IGNORING Him and he said something salty to that effect... Perfect I think this should be a good indication to him, right?????

WRONG

10 am today he goes : Good morning

I debated with Monsters to maybe have the Bully call him and just tell him to back off But I like to handle my own shit plus then who knows, vindictive cunt that he is he might feel like sharing skill tips with the bully, and trust Bully Knows quite plenty about my get downs... but it could still sully what miserly "reputation" My upstanding citizen ass has... Thing is I KNOW I couldn’t handle six months of this mess, and truly Jewish Former Intern wasn’t here, he woulda been my other choice...Manita is mad cause she says that no matter what she’s on his team and she LOVES him

Finally come 11 or so I say: _______ Enough, leave me alone, ...PLEASE

W: WOW you want me to leave you alone?

Q: Yup i do

W: WOW....Ok... Damn... Q!... that's real fucked up

Q: Why is it fucked up? you know better, Bye

W: thought we spoke last time.. but I guess not

(At this point out of being a cunt but not outright revealing the source cause I like my Facebook entertainment I say this: Mind you I just figure, Fuck It let's burn the whole village, i'm not bluffing)

Q: What is there to work out and why does it even matter? You do many other people and all I want Is a NICE fuck buddy someone that's NICE TO ME, you don't even like me as a person I suspect , shit: You are one of those dudes with weird morality clauses for women even if in fact you DO enjoy fucking them and It shows... So NO I don't think this should go on any longer

he says: That's why I asked for you to talk. i really don't understand what do you want I would ask you to stay and watch movies etc.. But I don't know. I really was sick all this week, yesterday was the first day I felt better, I love fucking you and making you come... so awesome you could come tonight and sleep over I'm trying to get on the same page with you honestly ...I want to see you, You make me feel so good, so please stop. I want to see you I miss you can come tonight, watch movies, eat have sex

****Aside I don't necessarily feel he hates me but I feel that I shouldn't further his agenda if that's how he feels about "hoes" you know? (All that smack and BS he be talking about in FB to his friends and whatnot, as well as the sex solicitation BUT!... I think he's shaped up Quite a lot from when we first met that he used to do REAL careless dickish shit Seriously I've cut this dude out and talked to him so many times like the shitbag he is that he knows by now to come to me a certain set of ways if he has any hopes of seeing me he still don't know my address (he knew my old place I’ve lived here almost 3 years, he’s not allowed my address) ********

so I replied: I want someone NICE to Me, that puts out more than once a month shit! i want someone that SOMETIMES I DON'T Fuck that I can go to a fucking place in daylights with no titles, someone that doesn't think any less of me cause i want sex REALLY BAD, like it shows you do, so just is not worth the feeling afterward and seriously as long as I've known you when have you ever asked me to stay ANYWHERE doing nothing... is Ok I'm not even mad It is what it is so pretty please just stop

People Understand this, I'm really not going here trying to lead anyone on, I'm seriously in a go fuck yourself for all I care mode, but I couldn't do this crap daily... the flesh is weak

But I miss you, fuck, let's see a movie tonight then.. Shit...I really like you I though you wanted to come and then leave and do whatever you do, but you tell me more and I adapt to that . I can do more, I'm trying now so please give me another chance, we are good together sexy

*head desk* Fuck I really don't need this info

You have to share with me before you get mad Babes

Babes... seriously what alternate universe is this shit on?? as if he is the paragon of happy communication styles, huh?

You know i''m not mean at all

uh.. no

Baby Please talk and I will do ...dont get mad or frustrated It can easily be worked on

...........I'm being punked... that's the only explanation

Pretty please?

(an hour later)

Please Hon

Dude stopppppp I'm not mad.. this has been going on for too long and is going nowhere as is.. this is just who you are "kind of an ass" so it is what it is or how you feel I guess, no point in forcing talks or interactions like that, this is stupid

Come On babes, i Know now how you feel I can show you more
One more chance love!!

One more pleeeaassee Pleeeaassee

i will eat you all night baby, we can watch a movie and talk and chill

we can work it out

just stop is all I'm asking i'm sure there is plenty of "ass" where mine came from, shit, who knows someone you might like and shit, you are not forced to make anything up to me, you've been released

I want to. I want to see you! why don't you believe me why dont you get I LOVE eating you and fucking you

Is in no way forced, just miss communication in both our parts, no one can replace you, honestly, and I do all the things you like

*sigh* and o_O... I say no more and the at 3 pm another round

hmmm? so give me another chance love? Please Baby.. I do care about you....

Charlie the magical Horse What???

Whatever man, I'm sure you'll care about many more people all over the place even (Hah!) what's the point really? is not that serious I'm not your woman or anything, is a-ok, i'll even let you think this is all your idea since apparently it boils down to you not liking not being the decision Maker here

What the hell are you talking about??? decision maker what type of shit is that

Oh that IS your deal? the lack of control? here have at it I Don't want to do this because of YOU, see...there!

No that's not what i want, come on Q, I'm calling you in 2 minutes

NOOOOOO No I have no battery and i'm at work No!

I DONT have all these people you think, I'm calling you and you'll come after work and we'll talk

Fuck that was too much I don't like this type of shit cause you know I abhor state of the union addresses and shit

UGH

So I sat here placidly eating and playing with spike... why did he call??

*sighgggghhhhhh*

He asked me to come meet his momma and watch movies , he sounded like shit, I told him we aint talking about shit, face to face or over the phone and that he needs not do this shit just cause I said something, which wasn't even the intention.. simply giving him an out so he can leave me alone , he says "well I don't want an out"

UUGGHHHRRR dude look I don't do arguments or this bullshit talking

Well if you don't talk I won't know what you need, and no I don't do arguments either

I don't need anything just for you to leave it alone

Ay Dios Mio esta mujer (first time i've ever heard this nucca speaking spanish) look come and meet my mom sit here like a person and talk or come later and we watch a movie and talk ad you sleep and we wake up in the middle of the night

I'm NOT meeting anyone dude chill the fuck out with that, this is great now you act like i'm trying to create something, all I was doing was closing the last chapter and the fucking book

Well, we're not

And that was about 5 minutes ago, i need a nap for this weekend

Old School Freight Train - "Heart of Glass": DAMN! Who knew you could completely take the party out of a Blondie Classic!!!??!?! Do you Love it? I certainly do!

La Ley and Ely Guerra- El Duelo: Shhhuuuuuuuuusssss You don't have to understand them, just enjoy two of my all time faves, together, Beto Cuevas could get it every Sabbath and on the Unclean days!... Douche hair and all, and Ely?? I just adore Ely to death a Mexican Female doing things and being cute, I like her on afropuff or this as well, this way she looks like Beto's twin, if you want a translation let me know

One hell of a start (to team): A Long Post

2009-10-06T13:29:00.006-04:00

Let's start with my clothes the past two days (blue for today...I've been wearing some HIGH ass shoes the past two weeks. i'll take it easier tomorrow... maybe... My short resentful boss started calling me Lurch Today

Back to the crime scene

Well It's been a hell of a weekend

You know I live in Warp Speed So let me tell start and tell you the story of why Armz is a No-go... well not a big story is just: he was nice but freaked out when I told him I've been single 4 year, he said "I just broke up with someone in February" and my stoopid ass not being able to conceal my WOW factor said "Oh WOW that is Fairly Recent"

he was like what?

I said... "Uh.. you know that might be considered a few months ago" and he says: "well that's not recent"...I shoot back with "Oh Never Mind me...what do I know I haven't brought up anyone to my family in 4 years"

LOLOLOLOOL

WTF it seems I was penalized for that so whatever is good cause I have tons more stuff to even respond to as it stands I am still trying to narrow down my prospects from the deluge that I keep getting daily and I have so far 3-4 people I’m sorta interested in then I had been talking to one we shall call Oralmaster, as well as two other real nice dudes, trick is : If im not instantly in lust and given more than a one liner besides ALL the other requirements I’m not even going to bother with a response... why?? Cause...why bother, if it’s for dating maybe I might be more open to other foibles and to asking more stuff (which I do for Those prospects) but for a steady fuck buddy?? So that’s my whole approach if I’m not saying to myself : Self, I’d do it in a NY minute

I don’t bother with talking (unless there is enough thought put into it that I just HAVE to say something!) you'd be surprised how often that DOESN'T Happen!

Oralmaster had great pics (which in the end turned out NOT to do him justice), a nice ass, great communication skills, we talked for a whole night online whatever webcams, but nothing slutty, just talking about our respective stories, goals , expectations and since he wasn’t in the state at the moment, that’s how it happened.. We talked about his job and how he’s supposed to head back out to Puerto Rico for like a week but how this is not common, apparently he was in the Marines and now works as some kind of field testing tech support avionics/x-ray stuff, long story whatever smartie pants

He said on Thursday : I’d like us to meet up Sunday when I’m officially back, I said sure but you might be jetlagged he agreed but said he’d get over it so he could “make an impression on me” we talked a bit Saturday since I woke up SUPER late as Fuck after spending the night talking to this possible new Subject, and actually It was him who woke me up saying some nice shit and letting me know he was flying back home, later on when he touched up in Dallas he asked me what were my plans for the day, I told him that I was thinking and debating of MAYBE going to the beach, he said I should, I replied that he was right that I in fact should!

And off I went to the Nude beach

And Awesomeness of awesomeness Who should I bump into????

Naked Fucking Mark... and if you thought he was a Mensch last time with the girls this time he was even greater

He introduced me to an awesome nice Venezuelan girl born same place as my sister (is RARE to meet Nice laid back Venezuelans in the area), Naked Mark went on and on about our dimples, she looked older but has a SICK body, models in fitness mags and stuff, she left and then he also invited me for Sunday to party at the beach with some cool people, his group include a Dominatrix, some stripper people, married folks he’s known over the years and it was supposed to be a gathering at the beach ( I told him ahead I probably wouldn’t make it) , he took me out on a raft with bubbly, peaches and pineapples and we talked endlessly in the water about the girls, my sex blog, what kind of questions came up, perspectives on that, super gentlemanly never vulgar, had his eyes on my eyes or dimples, the one time he wanted to see my ankle ink or well , duh my clit ring, he politely asked didn’t touch, then went and shared more bubbly with some friends he made that day as well and was explaining to me that he likes women to feel welcomed and relaxed and not like is always "something for something" when the come to the beach, he hates that some scraggly bitchass types make it so miserable for the lesser amount of ladies that do come by themselves to enjoy the water the sun and the weather

then he showed me his album of water Lilies and penguins and sunsets and stuff underwater from his travels in Argentina and Hawaii, He also asked if I like any of them he’d blow them up so I could frame them and keep for myself, these are some of those
That looks like a fire inside
This one reminded me of my Daddy and growing up, i'll tell you about how that was next post I promise ... should be .. interesting since I'm NOT a childhood memories person... proof of that is my unhappy face in most of my childhood pictures)

Soooooo I ended up drinking a whole bottle of bubbly with him and eventually headed home, that stuff didn’t hit me til I was eating a pizza slice at which point I said OOOOHHHHHHHWWWOOOW I’m done

I went to bed at 8:30 pm and although Manita, and Pasty called me (he wanted My old ass to go clubbing with them, we are instead going to do lunch Thursday) I honestly couldn’t even get up to roll over that’s how badly off I ended

And true to my not drinking ass I got runny poop the next day, awesome. Not!

Well that Sunday besides sleeping and catching up on my routines Oralmaster texts me in the afternoon and says hi we talked about how he had much junk from 30 days out in the field (I'm already not vibing with this cause HELLOOO something called TC)

But whatever new team right? so we decide to meet up public place coffee, assessment and then take it from there (then again we had been on the cam just talking and swapping ideas and music all until 2 on Thursday and Friday Night )

He came in late and I took him to task (he had called me from the intersection due to some crazy police presence I could see them too so It was in jest and he buys me a shake cause I won’t drink coffee, whatever (neither does he... hot chocolate... also a non drinker) and fed me some of his cake stuff while we sat on some couches kind of touching legs while making fun of people and he was super preppy looking... pictures DID NOT do him ANY justice cause yeah he looked Nice but with a bite, cute lanky but with a body for days for a tall dude and green eyes a weird ass accent he says he picked up while at the Marines (he’s 38 but didn’t look old or anything) and then he was smart assing me and grabbed my hands a couple of times whatever nice shit touchy but not to touchy but like I said NOTHING like pics, shit even webcam wasn't playing to it properly.

He was telling me about this crappy shit day he had had (a cumulative effect of being out of town for so long) and I was giggling and finally I said The kicker would be them kicking you out of here, you know, he agreed, and sure enough they made the announcement of closing the coffee shop So I said Let's go to my place we can keep talking

Anywhoo so we get home and this mofo practically masturbated Spicky and that little slut cuddler ate it all up, we talked some more and he started massaging my feet (I get that a lot the older I get) but then he hugged me to him, arms around me and to my ass and asks if we can watch the game, gives me a playful slap, has spicky in between us, I say sure we are lounging and we start kissing making out I decide to feel package and DAMMIT it was not only nice, he was free balling it!

So that went on for a while but when the commercials were over I'd say Oh let me be good but kiss his neck and ears he is still rock hard so I decide Fuck this shitty game I don't understand I unzipped him and went to town FOR-E-VER for no fucking reason other than that was a nice cack and it sure was marvelous : he is mumbling all types of shit before lifting me up and hustling me to my bedroom, asslap and all (which was by the way what HE did when we walked to his car... I returned the favor) so off we go and we make out some more, he is Hairy.. but trimmed all his junk!! Sweet! I'm loving hairy chests and arms and legs to play with the hair pull on it a bit, and follow the trail, nice bod and shit (notice I didn’t say back or butts or asses or eyebrows, or in excess... just look like a man!).... That cockage in all it's glory! LAWWDDDDD why Before I can do anything else I'm pushed down to the bed and given TEH royal treatment he came up face all wet put on a condom and went right back down, it was NUTTTTSSS he'd give me a bit of that good ol’ deck chair missionary thing then get Back down fo so long, no squeamishness no breaks, and play with my breast a bit and then go right back down...for soooo lonnngg then he came and said he came a bit to soon I said Uh.. no you did just fine I had enough orgasms

I thought that was it we went back out to watch the game and then he starts playing with my clit I say STOP or you'll have to put out again... why did he just give me a look and got Right back down like kneeling and stuff ....fuck....MORE I said WTH is this Fucking Christmas???.. he laughed without fully even coming up I returned the favor cause I LOOOVVEES to and again Pretty pretty cock.....*sigh* this time he did something soooo weird for a position, him on top but we faced opposite ends of the bed I had full access to massaging that ass and I did, No turd Burglarization BUT I surely did massaged the area But this was not 69 this was in me ... hard to explain... oh way no is not, click here!!

http://www.sexinfo101.com/headtotoemissionary.shtml

I was like Be careful with your dick boy!

anyways That happened for a while... I’m grabbing his butt and slapping it by the handful.....so then mannn we sat back down cuddled to watch the game, he of course explains the thing to me blah blah blah.. I’m playing with his chest hair cause... Uh I LIKE chest hair!

Only he start fucking around again! he came 3 times that's like a me situation but in boy........a mess I've never had so much head given.. It was ..just... so...just random... every time I thought.. “Oh this is It I can’t come anymore” he’d switch me around and he'd get back down... I literally probably yelped Jesus fucking Christ what the Fuck is your deal Dude this is So goooooooooooooood” yep I screamed that while holding him in position

My only beef would be MAYBE lower marks on kissing...cause is kind of porny you know???

But MANNNNNNN I'd train him just to keep those skills around... dude for serious It was like it never stopped, he’d do some other shit and then go right back to eating!!!! so that's the story... let’s hope he hangs around, it’d be delicious to have him about and yet guys are so... icky when it comes to following up on things, you know? But whatever I won’t sit around waiting too long and is not like I don’t have 2 more test drives soon, also he DID text the next morning and when he boarded his plane to Puerto Rico... Might sound a bit gushy (oops I walked RIGHT into that!) but let’s sing his praises cause rarely a dude delivers in the respects I need him to

And then Monday morning stuff quickly goes down the hill when I Get THIS message: “how are you I liked your profile and wanted to know if a handsom chocalate handsom Bohemian was interested in learning more about you would that be okay?”

And More shit that don’t make any sense Like this

i am everything u look 4 except i'm fat,a little shorter than u and i don't know about cute. u have 2 give me credit dough, i read ur hole profile, LoL u look like a beautiful young lady but i know i'm not ur tye. i still want 2 say hi and maybe 1 day we meet and b friends. take care! wont b surprise if u don't answer. bye (no for serious how are you everything I look for if you are NOTHING like what I want?? Wtf kind of Mindfuck is this??)

and This
OHH Your profile so good, u making me and my wife (!) late for work, we'd love you (wtf can't these d-bags READ??)

and This wonder... who knew retards had sexual needs
Hello Miss Lady, after reading ur file that's all I can cum up with(Lady),You should be writing book. ( it was very nicely written.) I would love to meet with you over a couple of cocktail, out by the beach, so the only thing that can interrupt us would be a title wave lol...(and that may be fun to) lol I'm newhere.. and I looking for the right chemistry first, be-for jumping into anything. I hope this is not a problem, for you I'm only 5'9 195lbs but very well built, I think I'm very attractive (No and NO... this is his picture
he looks like someone's grandfather) so my momma says (she lied), but really true beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. and that the site you wanna see. I'm kind of shy, and honest, can be bad, if you let me. but far must I'm a man. (Whattt???, can anyone Translate?). does what a man suppose to do. Anyway I know you have hundred of male trying to get in side your ranch down there, I'm up in PSL, so if you like traveling then let's hook up (bwahahahah I’m now traveling to meet his short stubby busted faced self, no). We could meet half way or i can show around up here, maybe sum horse back riding, if your up for it. See i need sum adventure in my life right now, and i can see winner your hart will be just that, an adventure..

And the guy whose Space button (or is it LACK of attention to detail) fucked him over
"hey i am manny originaly from the caribean iam mixed , very fit and have my owrn insurance company so i travel a lot , about me i am very easy going love having a good time and love sex a lot specially with the right person an dwoul dlove to know more about you an dpossibly be what yo ulooking for so hit me up"

And then some man stocking eggs in Walmart asked me for my number, Then Midwesterner that was getting on my nerve with his talk and whom I’ve cut off starts texting me about wah wah Why did you block me? I thought you were nice, I thought we could aspire to things together, You’ve awakened in me a sense of Righteous Indignation (me who I couldn’t go on a date with him cause he was sooo over the top, sounded like a girl, his voice cracked talking about “getting hugs from people he loves”, kept talking about what he’d like to do if he was in a relationship both in and out of the bedroom, was overly concerned with that and with being in a relationship and with talking about how much milk he had at dinner and how he doesn’t drink.... GTFOH with your gay care bear ass .)

how uncool... however there are 2 more very attractive prospects (one is a redhead of all things (oohhh fancy never had that!) and another one that actually can hold conversations and is actually kind of nose-crinkling sweet

Taking matters into my own hand

2009-10-02T15:51:00.000-04:00

First Order of business This will be a video heavy post cause Shit I want it to be!

A) WTF is this cat all about!??

STALKING CAT!

I'm not a cat person but this shit is HILARITY! how can you shoot that without dissolving into laughter? why is he being sneeeaaaakkkyyy? why is he acceptable? is he real? Agent double o kitty?? the fact that he'd freeze frame like that is why I can't! the chair stance?!?!? *deaded* Such an imp!

Also: Dying to see this movies:

*swwwwoooooooon* at every single solitary thing here

But the guy asshole geek in me NEEDS to see this shit

(i don't care about the reviews or anything: a disaster movie/horror/gore... I pretty much need be there)... Jessuuuuuuusssss the special effects, people as ant, Chiewetel Eljfor is in it and Danny Glover is the president i Think... uh why disaster movies stay having a black prez? also I Love the pairing of Peet-Cusack for some reason, like they make sense and shit

Now then I made executive desicions here: NONE OF THE OLD GUYS CAN COME BACK

NONE

Not Shortie who just hit me up online in his meek little ways

Not TC soft spot or not cause that's bullshit

NO WEEZY good sex or not Trust me he is simply not worth the aggravation the bother getting into his new place the annoyance to his ridiculous double standard and I HATE guys that employ the double standard... PERIOD so no more slack cutting

No Midwesternes, either or I was feeling nice but not Passionately boy crazy which would be my state of bliss with a dude, giddy, the girls disssaproved of that dude acting like oooohh you're with your friiieeennnndddssss he overextended it like he was annoyed or implying something, the short guy of the quick date was nice but not rocking my ovaries in any way.. he was quite impressed and taken after the date but I think he sensed my disinterest in the fact that I wouldn't voluntarily contact him, meaning I'd answer a text but not initiate one?

And that simply won't do, as some of you pointed out lots of this fuckos besides not doing things well or properly are backsliding into some extra special BS about cuddle buddies for the cold season and I WON"T be the one, especially if you are acting a faulty bitch

I've effectively blocked everyone off, So what do I do?: I'm being dead serious, 2 sex partners and 2 Potentials/friends/for dates/do things with

Fuck sanctimony and judgment friends, you know guilt trips and religion and that whole "your body is your temple" Crap Do Not work on me (how touching and Aww if it's your life but it's NEVER been what I'm about): I already lived with Mami and Binks so thanks but no thanks! My temple is made for Eros and we practice safe hedonism, I'm single, I use protection, I LOVE sexand I NEED it to act nice to other human beings

I will narrow things down to who and what I want then go from there, see what develops and not open myself off to being SO HORNY that I'll take Weezy, point blank homie stays getting froggy and trying to slip some Naked Dick and we won't go for that

I will leave the one thing online open as a good screening tool for the "nice" companionable guy(s) I will want

And it has netted me a weird improbably nice dude that I'm ACTUALLY interested in hearing about, I say improbable cause I'm not into roid monekys and he is HUUUUGGGGGEE about the arms Yet he's been unfailingly polite and we've talked So.Much about workouts and injury, not in an obnoxious way, he used to compete, not anymore, is in healthcare has a five year old and.....

A Minipin that gives more face than Spike, Observe!! (how cunty!)

Get a name for him in the comments, or no wait til there is a first date proper but still! I woulnd't have responded but he was SOOO nice and inviting and non douchy about his reaching out, and he talked about "was Spike crazy or a spoiled boy like his"

As far as the sex partners I'm NOT wasting time , I have a VERY dead serious screening profile for this, read:

Latina, black (yep we DO come in that variety LOL )been here for a while, single, no kids, my own place, tall, and DEFINITELY looking for the right partner to do this with.

What do i want?: Consistent sex with a fun adventurous partner (let's say more than once in a while shall we?)

I'm very laid back, a bit of a bookworm, brainy, VERY sexual and sensual (but I cover it well for-in-public-outings LO, I love to feel the energy of good chemistry at work is very relaxing, sexy and fulfilling for it's own sake!

I'm not into bars or clubs, do like to try new activities, go to the beach (A LOT), try out new restaurants etc... just ask away, I don't bite (initially, anyways)

I'm not about to be rude with anyone and I do give everyone a chance to come up and say hi but I will be blunt on what I want and need, I will not bother wasting your time if I'm not interested, I'd hope you have the same courtesy: a face to face public meeting WILL need to happen, where we go from there is up to us

I'd say I'm not "set" on any one particular thing to happen Except the following:

I want great sex

Consistently great sex

Consistent great sex With a Nice guy (by that I mean NOT a douche, Not rude, not selfish in bed, not a liar.. someone that I wouldn't necessarily mind having around for, say... dinner... is nice when you don't HATE or avoid a FBuddy LOL ) that would love to GIVE and receive Oral and enjoy their partner's whole body as much as I would

What else?? Ah ok I will treat you the same way you treat me, so think about that, I despise liars, flaky guys, and I have zero patience for that so while I do like to see and hear what everyone brings to the table I simply don't stand for unnecessary B.S when I'm supposed to be enjoying a particular aspect of life that is about relaxing, enjoying myself and having a good time

Come say hi if you've got some sense and KNOW how to treat a woman and how to act in public, I WILL want to see a face picture and an accurate profile before even responding (especially a one liner email), come say hi tell me a bit more about you, ask away, whatever! i'm very open to see how it goes this time

My Ideal Person: I NEED a tall man That is SO ATTRACTIVE to me (apparently guys lie about this online constantly?? so I'm putting this out there) why? I'm TALL (5'8 no heels), I like heels,I'm curvy, and like every woman I want a man that MAKES me feel like a woman and not like I am going to break him (If you're the lucky one you'd understand very quickly!)

Size is not important, what's important is how sensual and generous and skilled you are as a lover, are you a good kisser?? (THAT is a must! for me), are you a bit sarcastic without being rude or hateful to everyone? are you a gentleman in and out of the bedroom? (I'm being facetious in and out of the bedroom I need different things LO, are you sensual, honest without being rude or inconsiderate? if so, we need to talk

I don't even need you to email if:

you are a woman: Not interested in girls absolutely at all

in a couple: No thanks

married/attached: No thanks I don't care why or the circumstances/sob story etc

separated: common sense dictates you should be done with a before moving to B, not worth the drama

much younger than me (I don't want to deal with Young mens' B.S and issues and behaviors)

much older than 40 (45 tops for me, after that it gets really hard to have generational tastes and ideas in common)

obese: sorry, you might have the opinion that I could do better physically and do I try to take care of myself by waking up at 4:40 am to make the gym, i'd like the same)

Extremely clingy or jealous, or closeminded or use terms like "freak" to actually describe a sexually open woman

Out of towners: No really.. what's the Point I said steady and consistent sex, not emails, not chats, not a traveling salesman!

selfish in bed: If you can't give head, or a massage once in a while or pay attention and play with a woman's body, just don't bother, this is not about YOU this should be about US

Obnoxiously loud/thuggish/jerk types/the type that actually doesn't read anything and can't form an opinion on anything besides sports or music: sorry I like guys with some brains to them cause... um THAT is the greatest aphrodisiac

Trust me is not that hard guys, I'm not that picky is essentially common sense but it bears repeating and hey if I'm going to give my body in lust and pleasure to one or more of you here (be good to me, be honest and consistent and i won't need to look for any extra distractions... I NEED some stimulation the more, the better) I'd like to be perfectly clear on what I want and need, since you don't read minds!

Oh yes I did!! and No I don't give a fuck about how it might look notice that I'm not leaving it open to too much argument, I'm also tired of not having steady sex

And trust me just by switching my goals and being clear and blunt I've gotten enough cockshots and nice delicious Morselly Tasty TALL bodies and proposals to fill a book, seriously, it's only been 4 days and I Mean a book for serious! not just that I'm in total control of who I want to deal with. Is amazing how guys act once they realize you ain't got shit to lose nor do you need a thing from them other than coming correct and for serious

I've gotten invites to Bahamas for the weekend, all manner of club VIP sort of crap, all manner of inquiries from actually delicious dudes, proprosal AND propositions, all manner of "let me take you shoe shopping etc etc" trying to swap showing me good clear pics of their faces for cockshots, lots of that but I clearly state that i'm not impressed, Men and WOMEN Married and attached dudes that can't and won't people from far away places complimenting me on both pics and profile and on "being ridiculously awesome and blunt" with what I want, but fear not I'm being ruthless and making people jump many hoops so far no date has been set but it'll be public place, it'll be somewhere nice, it'll be a long proper chemistry assesment

Think not bitch! I'm not into playing games and I've given the sex partner search (depending of course in a million factors included, if i am fullfilled and in like with someone doing their thing properly) 3 months.. I have a notion we'll see more fuckery around these parts and I'll try to have as many sessy pics (SFW) pics for your perusal, if you want cockshottery then maybe leave an email, seriously is hilarious all shapes and sizes!

My music is all over the place today but all new-new shit

Artic Monkeys & Buena Vista Social Club for Rhythms of the world- Dancing Shoes: I gave this to the girls when they came, basically I love them separate ( I adore both of the srly!) But Together??/ This shit is Hot Fire! Dare you to sit still!

Bodies of water- If I were a Bell: Love love love them, love the setting, the acoustic play the doggie in her lap, Spike does that all the time, trying to be around when I'm doing shit *aww* It'll make you melt seriously

Tiesto featuring Tegan & Sarah: first of all I want Tiesto as one of my baby daddies for my next hysterical pregnancy (AKA never for reals!) , new release I squealed and almost fell off the eliptical when I got a new cd alert for him, perfect for the treadmill at 5:00 am what is amazingly off the grid is Tegan and Sarah in this mess cause: Uh They are west fucking side of Indie and definitely not the songs of choice when you want to not be depressed! or die a lingering death due to lovelessness I'm loving that he remixed this, Fantastic!......FUUUCCCKKK he is coming to Mia and Ft Lauderdale...and i'm missing it cause both effing shows sold out *sniff sniff*

Rachael Yamamgata- Horizons: this is from her double cd Teeth sinking into hearts/Elephants ... i Love love love love this girlie.so.much, I'm like her only Stan in this coast probably *le-sigh* so talented, writes her shit, adorably soft voice, plays the piano and guitar, her stuff is so evocative, every month I fall for a different one of hers, Last month was "The Reason why" them lyrics??! Huuummmm!

Girls Weekend Out

2009-09-29T21:16:00.003-04:00

The airport grouphug

THAT was the first thing we did, IGNORANT Ass Karrie hollered YAAAAASSSS loud enough for people to look, in fact she did that QUITE often and with gusto, we would duck down, Amazingness, ,Look who came too

Gem-in-effigy That's who!

Although I hadn't Physically met Sherbear or Terrinosaurus Sex We go waaaaaay back to the C&D days of fuckery, and we talk daily online (alongside with Bully and Slaus, that's the Email fuckery crew) anywhoo why one of these heffas gets a text from the one closest to the baggage claim tombout a black baby with a mohawk, we all looked at 11 o'clock and sure was a mess in a stroller, we declared it shame on the parents but died laughing, and that is why they are my friends!

Coming home to meet spicky

we got in the car drove out the airport for a quick change to go to the beach IMMEDIATELY, cause that's what we DOOOOOOOO (later I will show Photographic proof that Spike Owned the weekend)

and I wanted the twins and karrie to see my special little boy Spickito (dubbed Spicktacular for the purposes of this trip) they loved him even if he initially acted a plum fool, so we changed, went to the beach and I took the long way to show them my job, where I had some pieces stashed last year, the marinas, whatever!, Karrie wanted to be all sorts of extra with her Lady Gaga Bathing suit and whatnot!

Look At that bitch tho!?!

Sherbear McTasty Morselette

And Gem had her first drinky drink

But what's so funny about true friendships with women whether you've known them forever or not is you are talking boys/b.s. and changing in front of them like nothing, borrowing makeup, snuggling a bunch in a bed, swapping lipgloss etc etc etc ... and all that shit happened this weekend like *snap* that!

Terrinosaurus Sex and Pixie-kins

we went to Elbo Room,

had us some WAY TOO PRICEY drinks and set out for the beach, water was awesome, the weather, totally fantastic i had my beach blanket and towels for everyone

QZilla Surveys how many people she can eat... Trust i'm STILL a Giant

After we spent most of the afternoon there we went on to check out dresses to Marshalls and to

Shopping food, and drinks since karrie was making us Caiphirinas but we also stopped by the Chinese Buffet to stuff our faces

she had her some too!

It was there That Karrie saw fit to fucking let the spirit move her into what will forever be THEE single most fucked up thing she's done me yet: We are eating all chill when this little bit OUT OF Nowhere, with no provocation Drops her voice a couple octaves to do a prefect pitch imitation of Grace Jones as Strange, we are talking about LOUD:

"I Heard about that big ol dick you've got", "Let me pull on that dick"

Don't ask me if we lost it, I held the half chewed food in my mouth for 5 minutes that's how paralyzed with laughter I was, SherBear actually got the fuck up out the table Terrinosaurus never even cam up for air

Oh God (Strange came out to play SEVERAL times during that momentous occasion as in singing a rendition of "Ribbon in the sky" at the nude beach... only it was Penis in the sky)

Charlie

I WISH I could tell you that any of the weird/cool/synth heavy music was the soundtrack of our lives this weekend But I'd be lying, the True thing that we can recite with out eyes close is Any and ALL episodes of Charlie the Unicorn

I'm Not fucking with you These are ringtones we have things we can quote and YOU have to watch it so you can relate when we say "The Bridge of Hope and Wonder" or "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Heeyyyyyy Charlie Heeeyyyy charliiiiieeeee Candy Mount-iiiinnn

Put A Banana In your earrrr

Hold on to our tongues! we gotta be sneeaakkkyy, sneeaakkyyy... " Look out for the Bleh bleh Bleh!" (I believe we called that out when some thirsty fool approached us in the nude beach) This for the quotables alone is my favoritest! (sleeping gas, the shrimp rap, the lost horn, the kidneys

I swear that Charlie is addictive!

After that we came home to chill Crown Spike Crip King, Give Gem chips
and watch CSI like our lives depended on it Before heading out to the Hard Rock And generally being beholden to spike and his whims

So Yeah It was Obvious that he was running that show
I have several examples of this!
Please! Check that Proprietary Paw situation

So we decide to venture to the Hard Rock which was the Hot mess to end all hot messes not cause we were too entertained but maybe the last 2 hours we were there went to hell fast

first of all

Who says they bring an element of Class to the table whilst sipping beer from a straw... In Hooters?

Second of all Fuck with a pixie and you'll get fucked back

She cussed the motherfucker whose arm you see there ( It was great for them to see exactly what's the Man of Color Caliber I'm expose to here in SoFl, they lived my life for a few ) K goes: Um did you Just TOUCH me??? with utter scorn and disgust in her voice.. it was the best!

Awesome After that

when we decided to leave the club after seeing a Dancing Ponk Ass (Slaus would have been mortified by all that gatdamned dancing) and some cubiche that kept grabbing at me and Karrie for attention The best was this dude with an utterly drunk fat chick , she was SLOPPY, so was he but he was slightly lucid enough to keep begging Karrie and beckoning her from wherever he was, K would just sit there look him straight in the eye and he'd try different had movements while we all looked on .. you just had to be there

well THAT is when shit got good: we decide to sit down by a bench after seeing a fight about to break out with some uber drunk White dude

Karrie being our personal hell pass she HOLLERS with all of security there and a gang of dudes; BLAH BLAH BLAH POP OFF BITCHES I CAME TO SEE A FIGHT!

at this we melted into the floor in a puddle of laughter and some dude comes saying OMG that is SO fresh! pop off Pop off (he kept trying this in his own intonation and what have you)

two seconds from that and I mean some people are looking at our stank asses Ugly now some dude comes by... Holding his gfs hand but right behind he waves at us

Karrie: UGH NIGGA UGH

UGH: *half whispered* There ain't nothing wrong with saying hi

Karrie: (Loud as fuck) WITH YOUR GIRL NIGGA??? BE REAL!

we are I believe halfway on the floor laughing, a gang of dudes comes by and we are still re-enacting this mess for Terrinosaurus pleasure when some dude comes STRAIGHT to K's face.. No fucking preamble, no words exchange he just comes up and they have a Face off Staredown!! Like stone faces for a full minute before they both crack up and he waves us goodnight

We are now having an EPIC fit of laughter we can't even look at each other our makeup is running and Karrie is on the floor only for some white lady in her 40s to come grab her ass AND offer us a perfectly rational explanation

This segues with a White kid that looks like one of my clients HOLLERING: HEY LADIES!! HOW ABOUT A HIGH FIVE

We are just dazed not laughing looking at him when Miss Hot mess fucking no censor Karrie waits till there is a sizeable group to yell;

THAT'S RACIST DUDE !!!!

BWahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaa
I have no words to describe Sherbear's face and her frantic headshake dismissal of this to passerby people!! Just extra fucking nuts

After that The Beckoner came back with his completely non cognizant chubster.... It was a mess she was holding the wall he kept mewing things to Karrie but also encouraging her to keep it low... a mess

We had us more Verbal jousting rounds with some unsavory fuckos and the call it a night

SATURDAY

We woke up at 11 I make microwave eggs and toast for everyone, Karrie made the bacon we went off to the nude beach.. Their first Time but i've been hyphing that shit up to death so iknew they would have a good time

.Sooooooo. Awesome, one of the best times ever ever ever, first of all dudes were under control, day was glorious, girls were so open to the experience, Karrie went full monty with me Terrinosaurus went toppless (and I'm a dwarf next to the twins bounties!) And Sherbear modified her tankini for the ocassion, we saw grandmas, dudes with low hanging sacs enough to sing the ditty again and again (do your balls hang low....) a dude about 60 complimented Karrie's do and we just lazed around with our books and music

We had a great time a great day sized dudes up LOUDLY much to the delight of all the other dudes about, lamented certain men's preocupation with "gay shit" which prevents them from having fun in life and bed, Strange made another appearance after we discussed that the clouds looked penile

So picture grace jones as strange sanging "ribbon in the sky" but with the lyrics "there's a penis in the sky for you an me" *snorts and fadeout*

We walked up and down the beach,a not ugly dude asked if we'd model for a body project he and his wife were doing, we declined, seemed to want us to go somewhere to check his book, a BUSTED fool asked if we were jamaicans (hispanic I believe..of couse) k's response: Are YOU Jamaican? *dead*, and some asshole asking if "my fwends lefted me" cause the girls went to get water and such... but the girls were happy cause is such a cool crowd, pacific for the most part, I've told you this before, Karrie said it was very liberating

Then THE best part of the afternoon: a Jewish old dude, henceforth known as Naked Mark said: here sorry to be a bother but here is some strawberries, I'm going for the day, don't let them go to waste

We accepted more out of being floored and amused by his bravado at approaching 4 half naked/naked brown girls whilst nude with a NOT big cock while he himself not cutting 5'7 on a given day

Fuck!, we loved that and told him so, we complimented his bravery and he shoots back with, well I got champagne too and I can't bring the bottle out, you all want to join?

Hell and Yeah, we quickly assessed him and said rather loud: we can handle this mess!, well he came back parked next to us and was a PERFECT gentleman, said cute shit to the twins asked karrie where she was from, we told him about our blogs, he told us a couple of stories asked where and how we met, gave us peaches, strawberries, watermelons, berries etc and we finished that bottle, early on it occurred to K he could be poisoning us but he dared us to share drinks or pick a fruit container at random for him to eat LOL...that bitch asked who all else does he share his goodies with...the bubbly made us so silly and tipsy! The a completely hairy mofo walked around and sher hollered about a Tropical Silverback and I thoroughly and promptly lost it to where I rolled in the sand fully dressed

Naked Mark came back to take our shots hence!
we BEGGED him to get in the pic with us and he did!
(yup he is naked, yup Gem-in -effigy was there ) He was so perfectly great, so much charm, I promised that If I went back i'd totally say hi to him

After that we came home I made a pot of pasta milano for the girls
Sundried Tomatoes, Mushrooms and chicken... LOTS of pepper

And Sher made a batch of delicious brownies with cookies for us and I had chocolate ice cream and whipped cream at home already Y-U-M!
Life was too awesome, needless to say after that feast we Passed out in front of the tv

Sunday

we didn't wake up superlate but Sherbear had schedule French toast for us all AWESOME yummylations, we decided that we wanted the beach and a vote took us right back to Nude beach, which was a bit more empty with some rainy prospects (that not only didn't come to pass but rendered the beach pristine)

We frolicked until like 6 pm, we had snacks we walked all over, we bumped into the old Italian man that liked karrie's hair and actually they stood there naked conversing, we swatted off a higher than usual incidence of bullshit dudes not even bothering to come correct but on some vapid thirst (and really after Naked Mark's class act what else is there but downhill?? I Mean Bubbly and Berries?), we taught Karrie to float we quoted Charlie ad nauseum, THE GIRLS SAW THE TRANNY LADY! then we decided to come home and chill out, have pasta leftovers and Tea and more brownies and chicken wings and FAMILY GUY and Cleveland Show and Law and order and Karrie's Touch of Class (is exactly as bad as you think it is)

while packing things up for their early morning lift off

I have had SUCH a lovely weekend with my friends though!These Girls are such awesome classy sweet ladies, they all respected my home, had fun, no one had to be pulled out drunk from no where, they were considerate of me, ,of each other, lovely, and tried to slip me money every five minutes and were in general a joy to have, it was so easy, we had such a girl freakout, we shared hair stuff I had them take whatever they wanted, it was super awesome to have my girls around, made me really ache for more of them to be in close distance to do shit like this every weekend!

Well Sunday night Weezy started with his bullshit and I mean BS he was acting like I should let him come and do me with my girls next door or some such cumbucketry

um no

.. He suggested it be hot for them to watch

.............uh.... NO

...he was acting like I was giving him my address real soon

Um... No

However I Told him to get back to me Monday if he wasn't being too toolish, and he sure did and I sure had fun last night playing turd Burglar (no one appreciated getting THAT text last night, but is true I stay in violation of his ass... he whispers and whimpers like a girl, dishes back some good stuff right after) and telling his stupid ass to shut up about this whole "why I want to break up with him" " we can have more sex" "if you have a bf he never has to know about us" mess and generally coming up to me with a lot of bitchassness and silly concerns, I know he is about to be on vacay soon and I know I'll put him on ice again cause it gives me great joy to... Slaus said homey lost all pride and he dubbed him Sidepiece Rodriguez Bully disavowed me for sending that type of message "on a school Night" as if that Bacon Flavred fool got the "time for fuckery watch on OR he can even talk to me *snort* not hardly... ask the Bully how many times I've faced messages that i had no business reading from him? BWAHAhHHWHWHAHAHWHAHWAHHAHAHAHA

It was in short: The Perfect Ass Weekend, I need this OFTEN

Last post Before Girls Weekend

2009-09-24T11:00:00.002-04:00

Oh YEEEEAAAHHH Baby

Karrie B and the twins (Not to be confused with the Ghetto Twiinz even if we WILL be up to some ignorance!) are coming!

WEEEEEEEEE!!!! I'm sooooo excited, I still want to clean like I'm crazy tonight!, spike will pee himself with so many legs and hands rubbing him stupid!

I think we are going to have and awesome time, I could lose my voice cause I'm already sickish as it stands and we are going to the beach, the clubs, etc etc etc, 91 degrees all weekend and we are too old for this cumbucketry but really who cares!

Let me just give you a quick update:

My boss, still ain't shit (yesterday they held a joke-out about dick no less to see if I'd spit the food I was in the process of chewing, he then told me to "Stay Classy")

I Saw Pasty and the cousin he STILL trying HARD to shove down my throat, I don't even mind it cause we've become friendly, I loved seeing the Pasty, even if he says one day he'll bite me and dick down my dark meat with his wife's consent

Our Girl intern passed the Bar and I got to meet her Family

I'm still not talking to Mami, and truly is best ( I still could murder over the whole thing, mainly cause... that was gift money for the ladies)

Spicky is still having a funky Tummy :(

It downed upon me and Boss this October I'll be officially outlasting his first wife (his second wife is the mommy of his kiddos, he calls them and the girl dogs my nieces and nephews, she sent me some weird Jewish casserole this week, no meat, awesome) WOW I've been here 4 years!

I gotta do clothes washing tonight, hence I'm doing this at work LOL

Pretty mundane so far? Well WAAAIIITT the yummy man stuff comes soon!

what else Oh Yeah! I completely revamped the sex Blog COMPLETELY, new layout, polls, my sex playlist (might be weird to you But it all worksout when you are fucking and when you are doing a sleepy time post sex) , Yeah more posts in the works I figure that If I do them in advance on my freaky nights after my porn watching then is not so burdensome

I'll be the fatass behind the camera this weekend for this chest congestion/my late bedtime/my period week have all contributed to my Ain't shit workouts this weeks, I mean I went 2 days to the gym but I didn't really start P90x cause I'd break in the middle with the girls, also I think i'll eat some chicken this weekend since they'll be here i might have to just make em some food as such being nitpicky and separating are not things i feel like doing, shit for all I know My liver will be weeping come Tuesday

Anywhoosie yeah

Men

Cause a post is not fun until I tell you about how I stay home, try to be good and not get into bullshit and yet I still manage BEAUTIFULLY to get in trouble!

less start lesser to greater, non?

The Israeli: Believe you me the motherfucker keeps texting and calling, asking me to dinner: I once again asked what would his wife say about such a thing, he said she wouldn't care since we are just friends taking a bit of time for that

UGH! Married men stay persistent... Don't hesitate to think that at this point I'd have lunch eat my food and leave before he can ask me to say bye properly ( uh Neck kissing??) But yeah he is so bad that i've taken to just changing his name to Shady Mothafucka In My phone

Grade: -F

TC: TC is AWOL again, but i didn't expect any different, you know why? cause TC is working, doing part time firefighting in Pensacola, he doesn't live here and embarked on an MBA degree, so TC has TC bullshit in his plate, I also don't feel like going through the rigmarole of making him ashamed that he is falling behind on what he says he wants (me) Nor do i have the patience to either lead the witness or tell a grown man to do the things he should do if he wants me around, and thing is, like I toll Karrie and Miss G: That Idiot LOVES me, I know cause he stays biting his tongue about it to not freak me out and whatever else, I know this isn't about someone else or anything, he just is not one to make priority for his personal life, whatever that's fine and dandy for him but it doesn't work for me, so he is MORE than on Ice and if he comes back And i feel like dealing with him I might, if I don't then his bad, I might be mean, I might not, depends on my cycle LOL, I'm not mad cause I was expecting every bit of this and I recall telling you: I was enjoying THAT night

Grade: F

Weezy: *sigh* people It IS iNCREDIBLE but this Toolbag is AFRAID of me, How so?? well we were texting back and forth and he wanted to see me Monday BUT he was working and has been working doubles the past 3 days, well Monday he was supposed to be off or some such mess, point is we were supposed to meet up but then didn't cause he fell asleep or something equally lame like football watching whatever!

What Is Magnficent about this is: I sent him SUCH a Buck Wild Nasty irked text message! (something or other about Ugh dude you are SUCH a fuck -up This is why I shouldn't bother with your stupid ass... mind you as full disclosure earlier he had been texting me some mess about wanting me blah blah blah and makin up to me for every stupid situation he gets into with me and how I need to "cut out the bad talk" cause he is very happy to have me around, and how even if I get a bf I'm welcomed to keep HIM as my side piece!!!?!? EWWTF) and he called me! LOL I didn't answer the call only to eventually text him back and he is all melting in a piss puddle of "Baby, I'm sorry" etc etc etc

Then he told me that his mom ended up coming and staying but that he wanted me so bad and he was trying to see me

I said: Well Dude THIS is typical Bullshit for you (I know I overexagerated that but who cares) I'd be perfectly happy with you dishing out good sex but you always have to come with an extra side of dumb stuff, c'est la vie will have to be another time

W: No No I'm trying I promise you, would it be wrong to kick her out?

Q: Uh YEAH that's your momma asshole!

W: I know I'd feel bad... Fuck it do you want to come and if you meet her you meet her

Q: Um No is ok whatever those are your family obligations

W: I could go to your place

BWahahahah FAT CHANCE homie, no thanks is cool that's more info than we need to give you... but don't worry, I'll make it look like is your bad... cause essentially it IS!

Q: why for? you bitch and complain too much dude and really if your lazy butt hasn't been around here in forever why now?

(I know this was superstank of me)
W:FUUUCCKKK I want you so bad! I want you to know I'll make it up to you, you just don't know

*kudos and a side eye to Gem for saying that the mofo was probably waiting for me with an apron on and a pie in the oven *
Q: I don't? you forgot who is the multiorgasmic between us both?

W: I want to taste your pussy and have you just ... explode Q: yeah yeah you are talking big game for a man with an asthma pump and his mom at home, you need to back that shit up with actual more-than-once a month action W: Shit, now I'm all worked up, any fresh ideas for us?
(last times I had Fresh Ideas we ended doing things against my fridge amid broken glass cause he came from behind just as my fantasy dictated... and after that he got the hang of choking and biting me, so yeah that would probably not be the best thing, he already got in the habit of grabbing my hair like a ponytail and these are not things you can go get back out of!)

Q: Uh Why would I give you any more ammo?? you GOT my number and you KNOW i'm not about to try top do a chick or a puppy so that's all out the question and off the table

W: LOL I know , I Know, I always keep in mind you don't want an extra girl ... as is you are more than enough, BUT it'd be exciting

Q: Uh you're a guy of course it would be exciting, I don't share stuff so yeah, no

W:NOT FOR ME, We'd Both eat you out! say she could be under you, and I'd be from the back

Q: Um not to give you notions but 2 guys can do that

W: do you want to

Q: Not with you

W: We need more one on one time, to wrestle this meanness out of you

Q: Ha! Good Night

Grade : -D I'm cocky now but I better not be too unnice, god forbid I should need some of it

Enter The Midwest: Currently in the more than a bit of talking stages with two VERY nice dudes from the Midwest, both computer geeks, both recent transplants, both super articulate (and you know that's coke to me)

One Invited my ass to Rollerblade or a comedy show, I said I hadn't been to either so he said he HAD TO now! LOL

we talked a lot, about all types of aspects of relationships (I think he is TOO focused on that and on telling me about his past ones, just to sell me on the idea, also, he's never drank in his life.. oh wow!) I'm just sitting back, he gets points for saying this:

OH WOW you have the funnest most delicious laugh! It goes high pitched and comes back down... I bet you close your eyes and sometimes snort even

LOL yeah I do but don't make me that'd just embarrass me

OH NO MA'AM I'm making it my business to make you cackle now! I Gotta hear that!

and we are into a lot of the same music Yes yes yes, and also dudes that say sustained level of communication in regular conversation get an extra point from me

The other guy Invited me to snorkel one of these days, we have a g1 so we had a lot of back and forth with that but the best was that we chatted all day through our google talk, he does extra shit like fly small planes and boat on the wekeends for shits and giggles, acts like he can't be bored or something... his profile would have been off putting except his conversation was TOTALLY non douchey and we had a good verbal volley and also he didn't flinch at my profanity laced self, well last night he was fixing his boat due to some expedition today and we had talked all day about his job., mine and how spicky seems to be still funny on his tummy etc and we chatted all thorugh the workday so like at 9 he said, you know what would have been cool? was if we could have hung out for a little

It was Glee Night so I seriously debated , yet I remembered I can watch it later (and that shit was HILARIOUS last night, That Gay Boy is HOT fire, Sue Sylvester is Still my Reason for it all!)

Well....I guess we could meet really quick

so we decide on the beach, which was kind of stupid since it had been raining, also silly me didn't think of bringing spicky or my beach blanket(this was a post facto thought), i went SUPER casual

Anywhoo he Kind of looks like this

but:

the picture doesn't help cause he is really cute, has really nice eyes, and is about my height

*sigh*

NO seriously though the worst is he is SKINNY AS HELL!

however he gets many points because of: his conversation, manners, the sarcasm, the respect for my space, the nerdiness, the potty mouth, the fact that we made fun of people and he taught me about sandcrabs and we sat on the shore and got our feet wet and it wasn't awkward, and how he checked on me that I got home, and that I had had a good time, that he said to thank Spike for letting his mommy go out, and that he said he was sorry to see me go early cause he was loving the conversation, he also said that not only was I smart but also stunning (not really, is makeup friends) and such a cool person, he said whatever this stage of the process was was rather awesome

I said : the making sure we don't hate each other stage

He said YES! but boy I SO don't hate anything yet, like At ALL

LOL

He also said I made suchhhh an impression but it was also my wordiness, the other dude also said something about how WOW I was so smart this was so rare on the women of these parts

And you know what?? not that those two aren't some of the nicest most non toolish dudes I've had the pleasuure in a while but really:

What the fuck is Up South Florida??

Is the dating scene so skewered that my normal boring bad decisions taking self is now considered the epitome of brilliance?? like who ARE these dudes dealing with? what Is going on with my fellow women around here that when I say I cook or don't ask about occupation right off the bat I start getting treated like I shit diamonds?? I Mean don't get me wrong Woo Hoo and yay for me! but what are chicks about around these parts if my commitmentphobe tough talking, rude, thanks-for-your-money-but-no-thanks can get so much tail and not just that but they all act like they could pee themselves with high emotion?!

That My tall ass will consider Short/not so tall dudes Only because the level of douchery is so off the charts that these nice if NOT my second choice in the looks department-dudes are TOTALLY AND EXTREMELY worth the consideration and not on a "settling" basis but really cause dudes are so UGH! And moronic and dumb and vacuous and ungentlemanly and unkind and body obsessed that you can't pass up this sort of dudes SRLY WTF?

I also think dealing with Shortie and Spain2 (who both by the way are still on some lame attempts) kind of not Cured me from the short dude phobia but at least made ot so I'm not utterly repulsed, I'll hear what they have to say, be more openminded and hey what if there is nice cockage to go with it?? you never know!, I think every dating adventure is not just a opportunity and an experience but also teaches you about you, about what you'd like in a person and also gives you a push in your growth process.. and if nothing else a horror dating story is funny as hell to tell!

Bueno Back to work, tough talking and Vitamin C swigging, I need to not be sick NAOOWW

Lovage- book of the Month: Mike Patton makes me make puddles Yes Baby You are the griddle, I am the meat

Kate Earl- Silence: This is my favorite song of hers... and hey! I love my Kates!

You Bitches! Spain2 AKA #6 and Florence and the Machine Love

2009-09-20T19:51:00.003-04:00

what A treat! Posts Back to back cause apparently even when my mark ass stays home eating grapes and sitting on her naked butt shit snaps crackles and Pops!

I say Bitches in the most lovingly Disgusted manner: Your stupid asses stay sending all sorts of weird vibes my way cause why else would Weezy be hitting me up today day of the lord

and I TOLD you specifically to not ask about that mess! and then for the last dollop of goodness he of the hypertrophied cock Spain 2 also came out with some B.S "Hey Busy Girl"

Bestest was though seriously Weezy is SCARED of me!

Yes here friendsters

He started his regular repartee asked me how I was feeling, i said better, he says he'd want me to come right over check out his place but that he had like 8 dudes there watching football, I said what a fucking surprise

well later he asks if I'll come like at 8? I say possibly to hit me up, bueno fast forward to 8 and I get this mess about:

W: Baby I want you now but now not everyone wants to leave cause there is another game ...I want you so bad, I'm trying to get everyone out... *sigh* If I can't tonight can i Beg you to come tomorrow? I promise I won't keep you late or anything

Q: (I pulled a Gem and replied with ) >:-l I don't know, maybe, NOW I'm horny Tomorrow? Maybe ( I Know I'll be horny tomorrow, 3 hours from now, at 4:00am when I wake up etc etc etc )

His reply let me know this fool is more scared of me than we'd imagine

W: I'm so sorry Babe, I'm trying to kick everyone out , I know what you said Before, I know you don't trust me, Believe me I'm trying...Is just a bunch of guys

Q didn't even reply, is best to let that shit marinate.... makes me so happy

I Fell in love this weekend with Florence and the Machine Every single thing I've heard I've loved Like The way i fell insane for Blonde Redhead, so I downloaded everything but I'm going to buy the actual cd to be extra, I knew I'd fall for them cause I've been hearing rumbles from the Indie circuit and then i see the cd cover every day at my gym, they have them listed as a new release

My best Dress: This shit was so beautiful, i really wasn't expecting it, this wasn't a released in the albums song, I got 3 of those from them and the whole LUNGS cd Amazing stuff

Donkey Kosh; this one is another one I've seen online and stuff but not in their cds, got it too ummm umm umm I'm loving em!

Rabbit Heart- Raise it up: What is she wearing?? her voice *swoon*, i just love this bitch!

Howl: i am loving her voice when she gets going sounds like Beth Ditto

I'm Not calling you a liar: This one... is all about the lyrics, just beautiful

My Boy builds coffins: Listen to her live just doing it in the park, like nothing

And Lastly another one that won't stop running in my head, different artist: Miss Li, another one of these Nordic Popsters into the Indie scene, I'm sure you've heard a bit of this in the Ipod commercial but her whole cd is divine

Bourgeois Shangri-la : This one is with Amanda Jensen Love love love the happy vibe

Uncanny: Beach Bum and Shortie make 4 and 5, Mami has a Birthday, Mami cost me money

2009-09-19T21:16:00.005-04:00

Beloved:

This past week i've done nothing but flirt, be a bitch, have my period, and NOT work out, I feel gross cause I haven't lifted a finger, I need go hard cause NEXT FRIDAY THE TWINS AND KB ARE COMING... Bless you if you live in this radius, we WILL Be doing tough things and having a figurine of a pink horsie to represent Gem.....Slaus (of OHN) and the Bully are HIGHLY displeased at the whole Not being present, we will do more ignorance than usual on their behalf...

oh I DID also nurse my dog back to health, been thinking finances ( I'm thinking of a home refinance since big Jewish Former intern brokered my mom's and Tia Lusy's with great results and I NEED it) and kept obsessively cleaning the house since it STANK due to a dead rat *gag* and I just felt shitty overall lots of migraines and not sleeping well, Ive spent today just sleeping and cleaning

TC kept communicating, nothing too showing but daily, whatever , now he acts like by putting his one or two texts a day then he is fulfilling his ...Obligation?? I don't know, I am no one's obligation, he can do better or sleep on his laurels, I was telling my Manita that with him, it'd have to almost be a relationship (ugh that word?!!) cause otherwise it'd be more like a backtracking? But maybe backtracking is what we fucking need cause I'm also not going to have a half assed situation on my hands

But even more surprising than this was the fact that on top of Weezy and TC and The Israeli was both Shortie and fucking Beach Bum... he who never even got a fucking date, came sniffing out, none too prettily either!

First of all Weezy is doing a laid back quiet thing cause he thinks I'm mad.. he doesn't understand that I'm not mad, I'm not shitpissed or anything I just think is a waste of time for us to keep going round and round the same thing with him, you know? and It IS hard as I told him to have to compare chemistry regarding others, and seriously that's the one thing we DO have to spare and then we don't have it for a while... is like BOOOOOOO!, but I'm digressing

Shortie... yes! Shortie hit me up online Thursday and Friday with some ridiculousness; no I mean he remembered that my bro had been in town and that my girlfriends were coming over so he was acting a bit tentatively, like for instance, he asked over and over if I was going to watch UFC this weekend ( Um NO I'm not a repressed hetero dude looking at dudes for validation) besides that, this is NOT a fucking date alternative after months of not seeing each other so boo and fuck that I wasn't rude but I was very much icy regarding that UFC business, thing about it is he won't ever be a pushy kind to even tell me Let's go out if he feels that I'm just not about to bite

things I DID spend some discretionary income in were flip flops (3 for 20 bucks, nice from American Eagle, sale ) , all my flip flops were ripping at the seams as well as some of my shoes, I explained to Mia that I keep things forever, take my flip flops... easily all my flip flops predate Germany if NOT about the same time, same with regular shoes, they gotta rip/break on me before I throw them away, ah but look these ones.. I didn't get them but I seriously I thought of it since there were like 20 bucks and I have a shitload of purple

but I DID get this!
only because It was 27 bucks, cause it smelled so good that I put it on and 3 guys and 4 women stopped me about it so I double backed and got it... and look at this fucking bottle!!!

Love and Music also smelled amazing! but this one... sheesh!

I also went and took my passport picture which came out surprisingly decent considering the huge burn I got in my face and forehead which I can't exactly cover up with hair during a passport picture

Anyways I'm putting that in this week ( wish me luck i'm not happy about owing money to Mami or this whole process , period)

tanktup: i almost forgot how sexy u are
tanktup: your pic is very hot

q: I thought we already went over this? (FYI Thursday or maybe friday i wiped my floor and windows clean with his ass... Like I asked what could he possibly want and why would his ass be Still hitting me up after a year and change has passed and he fucked himself out of a first date with his unreliability, he kept asking if he could have a second chance, i made myself invisible after I essentially called him a sorry bitch, he begged some more talking about he'd like to take me to Bahamas this weekend if i was game ??? wtf?? and saying he'd make it up to me and he'd love to get to know all my pet peeves, I said Um YOU DID!)

Enter Beach Bum and his Bullshit

tanktup: sorry, i just never learn
tanktup: you're so sexy in that picture though
tanktup: i cant help it
tanktup: :)
tanktup: oops

q: yeah wrong person (Ha i Love when guys fuck up this grandiosely )
q: seriously just stop

tanktup: ok
tanktup: i know I sound crazy, but im only gona ask this time then ill leave you alone forever

q: yes it sounds stupid when you had the chance and you passed it up

tanktup: Is there any chance I can make it up to you?

q: no we already talked about this
q: I don't like when people do flaky shit like that
q: never did cause i wouldn't do that to others
q: so endgame

tanktup: im really sorry

I'm enjoying myself now

q: eh don't be

tanktup: I really missed out

q: I just don't play that game, others might, go out.. find them

tanktup: jesus I'm sorry, i wish you could get over it
tanktup: i wouldn't let it happen again
tanktup: Promise, cross my heart
tanktup: maybe in the next life, sorry

q: Stop apologizing, whatever maybe I'm a bitch, whatever I just don't like That type of first impression, if a guy would just do some crappy last minute flakeout like that when they LIKE what they see, and is guaranteed fun what is really left? so whatever there is nothing to get over I'm just Very much a person of my word and that bugs the fuck out of me

tanktup: cant i make it up 2 you?
tanktup: ever1 deserves a second chance crap??????????????????????

q: not everyone
q: trust me

tanktup: lol, i think i do
tanktup: just to see if we hit it off

q:uh you fail to remember: we DID hit it off
q: we made a date
q: you didn't exactly cancel it

tanktup: i don't remember why, but I'm sure there was a reason

q: you half assed gave me an excuse and an apology properly WEEKS after the fact
q: not when you texted the date of, not an hour before

tanktup: i was an asshole, i don't deserve it, but maybe u could gimmie 1 more shot
tanktup: i just wanna know its ok to contact you, that's all i'm asking for right now PLEASE??

5 mins later : ??????????????

q: Ok, I'm going to block you now just to show you I'm NOT that nice you didn't miss out shit, fuck this, go find another chick, go online, go to the hard rock tonight, get plowed, who cares, be charming! I'm sure you'll land something stop fucking around with my inbox!

*SNORT* Boy, Good Day... or something

And I'm currently NOT speaking to mami, she had a birthday this week, (her 60th) complained about a party, eventually we had a chilled out gathering then friday she INSISTS that i go see her that her friend has keratin stuff and that we should do it, i tell her clearly i have no money, she says they HAVE to be gotten, I tell her that i DO NOT think i'll do that until is cold, she won't stop, whatever

Eventually i go see her, and why at the end of the night when the dude pulls his products out my mom announces loudly for me to pay it

100 bucks

I have friends coming next week

I didn't request this shit

I fucking hated that Tia Lusy essentially say I'm not paying part of this cause I have no money and if you woulda asked me I would have said no, I hate that Tia Sa never even committed to this, I hate that the 50 bucks I wanted to give Tia Sa for the Makeup bag (loaded with goodies, was gonna be for me to split amongst me and Binks and Lolo and Mia and Monster and the Biggities is gone, is not gonna happen cause my conniving ass mom decided to ensnare me at the last minute on her bs, she then claimed that even though she demanded I "pay for it for now and everyone can pay you later" she didn't mean for me to pay it whole wtf is that even supposed to mean?? she then claims that it is me and Tia Lusy who need it NOT her so it was as a favor to me... This bitch is crazy!

The most infuriating thing is that The most my aunts can commit to do is MAYBE doing curlers on me, they'd never sit there do the whole process, and neither would mami so why the fuck did she buy that , they won't even do that straightening iron 6 times blah blah blah in fact Binks called after the whole debacle and said she'd do it for me if I wanted... *snort* I do hair better than her... is whatever, I'm just livid at my mom and her fucking usual antics, why would i want to spend that kind of money when my friends are on the way?

I cannot stand this stupid shit she does like she depends on everyone and their money and time, she can forget about seeing my face, no really I walked the fuck out of her place and didn't even take that shit with me, THAT'S how mad I was

Jay Jay Johanson - On the Radio: a propos of nothing let me just take my mind off of this bs

Morgan Page feat. Lissie- The Longest Road: Tiesto's Clublife098 has this remixed with sitars and shit sounds extra hot, I want Buddha Bar tracks now

OOOHHHH wait and today I was heading out the house and the HOT single older cuban flexy ass sexy single dad neighbor goes casual as you please!

"Come come see what i've been working on!"

His place is like mine only: stunning, completely redone, sexy, with wood and granite cabinets and shinny floors, sexy as hell, he had me even go into the bedroom, sexy shit MMMMMFF!!

And I oohed and ahhed like a dingbat, I told him not to rent this beauty to anyone, he said I KNOW I won't... so I'll have to see his sexy butt soon, daily.. Yum.. Trouble!

After i pulled away from the parking lot I was able to properly scream and squeal

and you you think my extra whorey self won't get him a "welcome home" plant or cookies or some such extra shit like that YOU don't know shit

Alborotando el avispero

2009-09-15T11:58:00.002-04:00

This Literally means "Messing with the Bee's Nest", but is more of our version of your "Stirring the Pot"

I feel that's a more appropriate meaning (Bee's Nest) than shit stirring, cause TC messed with something that was quietly settled and humming along

I don't know to what end if I'm frank.... something about him/us/the time together/ the talks/ the touch the silly shit makes me continue to give him an in, and I don't know how or what exactly am i seeing at the end of that tunnel

But if I'm honest I was Extremely horny/ restless/ having a stanky house that I was still polishing up and down and a sick doggie

Also I told Manita how it still fucked with me once in a while how things ended anticlimatic-like and how I can't watch the "Daily Show" these days or some vh1 things cause we used to watch and call each other during breaks and just have these silly dissertations and stuff, just some simple shit, like that, i was telling her this is not a "settling for the lesser of the evils" but more like there is some fucking weird connection with us, almost where there shouldn't be any so whatever I was telling her that when he sent me that last text from the previous post, I told him that we could talk tomorrow (today) but that like he said before it was late and he may have needed his sleep (1:00 a.m)

TC: Not that late... Q I'd like to see you ... I've been intown the past 2 weeks, i've been trying to figure out a way to.. approach you

Q: I have a sick dog and a house that smells like dead shit..

TC: it doesn't matter, are you going to open the door to talk if I come in?

Q: try

So I go back to talking with my Manita and sure enough a while later I see him from my third floor window, I told her: MANITTTTAAA He looks so cute, and tired, and like a ilittle boy and skinny But I think his gut is still there, like he just ate?

Manita: Awww Manita

Q: I know... I can't promise shit

So he came in and asked to see the Spickito, after he put him down, he hugged me so. fucking. hard... really really hard

He sat there in the couche next to me and I gave him a pillow so now we are side by side facing each other I told him I was cold so he wrapped me up a little by sitting sort of outside of this arrangement, he touched me so soft just my index finger :

TC: I missed you so Much, Q, I'm a mess, I know you don't even have to deal with me

Q: I know that, tell me what else

TC: I've fucked this up so much, so so so much and yet I still want it, even if I'm a bitch for letting you down, for fucking up further by not contacting you when I should, by being ascared person, I don't even claim that I can deserve you , but I'm working a bit at the firehouse again, and working on my MBA and I don't feel good, I am almost hating my job for what it's cost me in terms of friends, a roommate, my rank at the firehouse and most importantly YOU, but I the same token I met you because of it, so I can't hate it, if anything I Can't manage my time wisely or prioritize what I want and you had to pay for my stupidity

Q: Yeah you do suck for that, big time, what's new with life (while mussing up his hair the way I like it)

He tells me about the MBA thing, the firehouse thing, the vastly fucked up work situation, how he'd been here 2 weeks and is probably going to be around another week and a half and he tells me how he is feeling like this wasn't supposed to be his life, at 30 no kids no wife, I tell him to stop lamenting that shit his life is not a rat race with his brothers and sisters, if that's where we going my 26 y.o baby brother just got engaged a second time in his life and has a house, so what?!... I tell him about my summer (somewhat, Ha!) and about the Rat that is dead somewhere.. how it was coming out and making me gag and making me scared in my own house for me and spike... at this he cradles me and rubs my back

TC: Oh Honey I KNOW how much you are terrified of them.. you want me top look around?

Q: Nah Is ok nowhere to be found plainly, maybe is in the a/c area... so.. what now

TC: I want to talk to you again, see you again, kiss you again, take you to dinner... I mean... If you'll even have me back to try

Q: WHy? I Mean I don't want to REMIND you to contact me, remind you to hit me up? you basically wanted the horses secured in the barn and then ignored them so to speak

TC: See! you are too much, but I accept that, If you'll let me try again, Q... I mean I want to always be honest, sometimes I can't be around, I fucking mess up by not apologizing or communicating when i should THEN running away from that, I smoke but I can be nagged out of that, I drink in moderation BUT I know I want to try to do this right, I miss you, I miss seeing you and talking on the phone, I miss your face, and walking down Ft lauderdale and seeing shitty lounge singers, and talking about tv and the Daily Show and your back rubs and kissing you and your hair and when I go by a Ruby Tuesdays It kind of pains me that I'm stupid and i remember our first date, and you had that black wrap dress and after the fucking greatest date ever I did the ONLY right perfect thing I've done in about 2 years and change and asked if I could kiss you and it fucking bothers me more than you know that I've fucked that up so much with you, with us, whatever it is.. I mean I can't expect you to want to deal with me

Q: *sigh* why are you doing this? why do I want to see this through with you? why are you away, damn TC I Like you, and you know I do.. I just don't know if things will change, this opening myself up to you fucking hurts man!

TC: Can I try?

Q: you can

After that it was a wrap friends: I don't know what kind of motherfucking rabbithole or pointless maze detour this leads to I will tell you though... we kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed forever, he took my ponytail off and buried himself in the back of my neck... in between (we can have full convos while making out, ocassionally he puts his ear to my mouth) I told him NOT to fuck me over I told him that over and over, he said he'd stay honest but would actually communicate... that's to be seen although we did text some today he asked if he could take me on a date this week sometimes

Last night I thought about this: I want to have no expectations, I will enjoy this night... I also thought as he was finding all the spots, and finding new ones (the inside of my arms.. who knew?!) that WOW! there is such a Fucking difference between him and Weezy??!!!?, no, as per the disclaimer my Manita wanted me to make I am NOT shitting on weezy for sports, I clinically sat there for a second and thought: Weezy is bigger, Weezy will fuck me with almost anger, and there is a violence to it that I like...they both eat pussy well but there is a certain undercurrent.. this was not a one upmanship thing, in fact I hardly have a chance to service him like I would... but it felt.. I don't want to say special cause sex is awesomeness to me every time, I want to say sweet, urgent? sexy? amazing? I don't know!, all I know is I like when people only stop kissing me to kiss something else (the tips of my fingers), I like having my body explored, I liked the slow walk to my belly and thighs, I like that when I have my fill then is STILL about me with him, a massage, getting me water, rubbing me, giving me more head playing with my hair (not FUN in the am though) and then he falls like a log next to me, even when I want to switch positions he still holds my hands and makes sure the feet are warm

Karrie says I need not compared the two and I agree: different beast different drives, different disclosures

We went to bed at 4 and woke up at 6, I tried to hustle him off and out of bed to be on time to his job, he put his underwear on Only to come lay his head on my boobs, and get spike in between us as well LOL

Why do I need a new team but then have to deal with the tide bringing them hot messes back?? this is what: I'll see what he does, I'm not expecting much, I'll be occupied if he isn't around, do my shit, workout, hang with the familia, whatever ... I'm keeping Weezy, I'll see is appropriate for me to open up my insides any deeper than where I'm at, meanwhile I'm going to have fun with TC the way we initially intended to

Cazuza & Bebel Gilberto- Precizo Dizer que te Amo

Why they keep coming back for??

2009-09-15T00:42:00.002-04:00

Is there any point?? I mean some things are salvageable, some are not worth the shit festival

WELL lets preface by saying like with some dudes I'm sure you do... I would say He would be the one I think about on occassion like Dude what a fuck up dawg ... why? cause he was nice, he was sweet and sarcastic in the right places,cause he was good in bed and affectionate without overwhelming my system (AKA in bed when i can let my guard a bit down)

he says and I quote:

TC (out of nofuckingwhere) :I want you to know that I am sorry about how things are/ended... I miss seeing you, talking to you and although it might be late.. I really hope you are doing good

Q: (million hours later.. for some reason it sucker punched me.. Don't ask I don't want to talk feelings and bs) : Thanks for the good wishes, I'm doing great, hope you are too..I don't know what to even say about the rest cause the reason why we don't speak, is essentially YOU... I can't force that or be dicked around or contniue to be put off or on the shelf X amount of time til you are ready to engage in conversation/give a light signal etc... so to be honest I wasn't very nice on that I.m but I found it CRAZY you'd talk to me all chill like we spoke yesterday when in reality we didn't speak anymore past that Labor Day weekend, so yeah i was curt and less than thrilled

TC: I completely understand and I gotta say that I ALWAYS want to say hi, but due to my shitty timing and work and out of respect to your feelings.. i resist ...is just.. sometimes I can't Q... Our time together was so wonderful and due to my inability to make time due mainly to work and the fact that im a bitch I managed to mess it up all over and completely so. the truth is : I would love to see you to talk to you to take you out be around you I know this thing we had has been wild, and passionate and crazy, like it was supposed to be short but I still think about you all the time. you are such a genuine and loving and cool person and in the bizarre and demanding life that has been given to me so to speak I miss the oasis that you provided me always

Q: look, I won't lie, sometimes I miss you too but I'm not one to NOT move on, you have other priorities, other things going on and while whatever we were doing was really awesome "Us" was never a ship i could run or control, but I also cant sublimate my own needs and feelings or throw them like a switch on and off ( i can but he needs not hear that), or live in suspended animation til you decide to talk/ put effort/send one or 3 shitty texts , so I guess in the end I just had to fallback and understand where your priorities were, that's not a crime but a fucking call would have been nice, better than you disappearing into thin air ... and yet I guess I understand why things had to just be that way, we didn't even start in the same place.. I just wish some days that it didn't have to be but YOU could have made hat different

TC: I got you...I don't want to keep you up but there is so much to say on my end still, I don't have battery left in he phone...Can I talk to you tomorrow, or text you if you are not comfortable with me calling you?... I do want to say something and is: YOU HAVE NTHING TO CHANGE I'm the one fucking up here not knowing how to act/react to what's in front of me and my responsibilities

......I.am.sooooooooooooooooo. fucking. flattened to the ground at the moment so let me share ANYTHING else that would eliminate this crappyish feeling of WTF are YOU DOING TO MY LIFE NOW ASSHOLE?? why do I like you...Manita, La Monster and i will have to have some Sliding scale of asshole behavior, me and manita were discussing this regarding when are we cutting passes and throwing flags not cause we HAVE TO but because we are Charitable Christian Souls

Oh in other news, My cousin the dental assistant just hooked me up for free, after 8 years of no care my teeth are still perfect, they asked if I wanted my back teeth out, no thanks, i'll keep my over bite

Spicky is still funky and not so a-ok

Pasty and I are having lunch Thursday, Pasty stays getting lippy with me

Stupid VM now wants to call, no I'm not intent on picking up (3 times)

so is That DR fool he even explained to my vm that he hed been out of town... I'd have to care though!

the youngest VP for Goldman Sachs for part of this area and his cute butt just gave me a VERY interesting peep show on cam, at my behest... sucked his own junk.. is THAT big, like huge and I said: " you should lean forward , and do it for me... not like you probably haven't tested this" LOL (in exchange I said I'd show him what I had under the tank top... a lime green lace bra... but the kicker is he only got a peak from pulling my tank top down a bit BWAhAhAha

I bet no one would imagine that from that cute young innocent looking boyish guy...... Are men in the financial district packing More extra heat?? his junk makes Spain2 look downright dowdy.. i'm not too interested at the moment cause

A) I'm not a size queen
B) I'm not keen on chatting online forevermore cause YOU don't have time
C) I don't care for your flattery, hot or not I happen to get quickly bored if you don't make a decisive move... and you're not, keep the house in the fancy place and the secluded off-Miami (blergh) baby Island, come correct or find a goldigger who gives a shit

But most importantly what does this say about my horndog pervy ass that this was a perfectly plausible distraction before bed?

It's Official: I'm the George Constaza of the FuckBuddy World/ more S-I-L impressions & MTV Bashing

2009-09-13T23:31:00.005-04:00

Hallo my Lovely Bunny Rabbits!

I've had a Lovely weekend hanging with my Fam and my brother and his girl and talking all sorts of mess with them Neen, (which I'm calling her that, her family nickname) even won Chinese Checkers! my cousins came along, we went to the beach and the waves whooped our butts i let her borrow a bathing suit for the occasion, I was asked and I gave my opinion, words of advice and thoughts on wedding things, and relationship and compatibility, she opened up a Lot to me and in turn requested the same from me, she told me about how much her kid LOOOVveess my brother and calls him his Wishdad

Awwwwwww

And how she met him fresh from his breakup with the bitch whose Jaw I have a personal ache for and how she never met a guy like that so smart and so un-douche-like and how even though she was young, with her kid she simply gave up on things, but then she loved him right away and yet she had to honor his hurt and wait for the time to pass and do what she wanted to do for him anyways

*sigh* she is sweet I how it works for them I really do (probably no wedding till early 2011), I gushed about my friends cause I would have wanted her to hang, an cause she told me she didn't have that many gfs in the military and all, I told her to call me to chat it up whenever, and then she just busted with:

You Think You'll ever Get Married Again??

"Uh I don't know baby, that's hard and doesn't depend on me, and it was/is a HUGE deal for me to even BE in a relationship ....plus I think My bro told you what dating is like around these here parts!"

"Yeah But I'd love for a cool chick like you to be with a good dude"

"ah that's nice, so would I...I ....guess?? I mean If it happens is..umm.. we'll see?!"

Is like Manita said: People in Love can't fathom how the rest of us function as a single unit.... anywhoo!We hung out with the aunts and tomorrow they leave, but I get a whole beauty day with my mom and aunt's, i.e.: Me doing everyone's nails, trimming hair and straitening my own

Funny: we ended up me, Neen, Paulie and Spike and Pepe (our good friend, who we named Paulie's dog after) in a Full Size Bed watching The Devil wears Prada, I'll miss Laughing that hard with them all

Bink's Update: Still bleeding, less swollen, her Stitches are not out yet, no sonogram, they think a vessel has not been properly closed up so when she bend/sneezes coughs....bloods comes to her belly button

:(

She doesn't even want to discuss with Mami (who's been rather happy about Paulie's engagement)

Sooooooooo

Paulie got me the whole P90x program, so I am supposed to start Monday... Help.Me.God..I don't know if or how I will complete it but I'll aim for this right when I get home from work, technically I'm going to still try to make my hour cardio at the gym if nothing else or if I default but yeah wish me luck with that, I even went Hard and installed my Pull up bar all by myself at my bedroom door, mad discreet!

Also just when we count Mami out for being obnoxious, Spike's tummy plays with us all ....I don't know what he got into this last time but he's been runny on the pooping dept, so I suspended food to see his reaction but still sort of funky and disgusting farts that were running everyone out: enter mami, she forced a bit of pepto bismol with a syringe then had him on a few bites of solid food and apples that she peeled and cut for him and about half a container of yogurt with probiotics, my brother was extra huffy that spike doesn't do "dog things" but even with that mami kept him while we went to the beach... voluntarily... and he is pooping solid LOL!

Guyfront: The Israeli, Yup THAT Israeli the one that looks like an older JC Penney catalog model, that kiss my neck gave me the massage of a lifetime 41, hot as hell, that then easily told me over dinner that he...um... WAS MARRIED???!!

I picked the call thinking it was somebody else and when I did and heard the soft voice i go WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!???

he says : my darling have you forgotten me?

I was like uh... ________??

Yeah my dear, who are you, I'd Like to see you?

How are your WIFE And KIDS? (Yes i went there)

Oh they are great Sweetie, Thanks for asking... so Are you going to let me take you to dinner to talk and catch up?

um, what For?? You know we are going to be sticking our tongues down each others' throat... like last time.. before you told me you were MARRIED?

I'd like that but I can be good, just to enjoy your company, dinner and wine?

No, and besides I haven't heard from you since January so what gives you the notion that is ok to call me?

I have been out of the country on business and with Visa paperwork, but I came back from Israel recently and I've been thinking about you a lot

well.. don't

I will call you next week, I gotta keep trying, you are still at the same place, right?!

Oh God, you gotta stop

Just dinner

No!

wtf???

I'm still just taking it easy and steady ignoring Weezy all this week, well I told Mia That he was going to get the "Let's not fuck each other again" Text again, she hated me for that cause she rather I didn't

And he fucks up by starting his Two-a day today... Oh lordy Minty Baby Jesus In Jammies; WHYFORRRRRRRRRRRR

This was a clusterfuck I ended up feeling like the George Constanza of Fuck Buddies in that episode where he wants to end the relationship but Maura won't and essentially tells him is not done til both parties turn the key?

Observe!:

W: Are you Ok?? I hope all is well Pimp!

(He knows I'll hate this enough to respond... second text today too so wf I told Mia I would send my regards)

Q: Home with a Cold (not exactly lies I'm still working that out) all settled I suppose?

W: OMG Yes! for the most part mama (huh??) ..I just have a couple of things to unpack, too lazy, the move itself drained me

*side eye, the move or random Hussies*

Q; umm hmm

W: Yeah

W: I moved my stuff and my mom's shit to her man's place. literally took Sunday Monday and Tuesday, 9 hours of hard labor every day

W; Moving the stuff then cleaning old and new apts

Q: Yeah that's nice. Look we should stop seeing/doing each other. For good now considering we have the excuse that neither of us knows where the other one lives, call it a fresh start and all

(yeah I'm a turd)

W:WHY? I think we have it good

w: 1547 NW 120 st North miami, Fl

W: Now you know! LOL

Q: You are a retard, we have been playing the same mess for too long dude! we should just be grown ups about this plus, is not like you wouldn't have other chicks to do, which I know for a fact

W: But i love it with you though

Ba-FUCKING-Roo?? NO you ain't...I don't respond sooooo he throws in

W:LOL

W: come on Mama I thought we had a common ground

Q: dude stop, i'm sure you tell everyone the same shit

W: And No Q OMG i've been trying to reach you all week

Q: Right (Nucca) but that's cause YOUR Horny ass wants it at that moment, you happen to be notorious for not replying to a text when YOU don't feel like it

W: Never!

(where are you fool? in a Mexican soap Opera??)

Q: Plus I think is NOT like you can't find "Other shit to do"

W: I always reply when you contact me, I tell you to call me whenever

Really?? Really dawg??

Q: LOLOLOLLOOL WHASOFUCKINGEVER fool you know better, besides how are we supposed to have time to find people we can have steady sex with and be seen in the daylights if we continue to fuck each other's brains out, risking injury

Q: and seriously BULLSHIT why do you think I Never text you unless is direct reply to something or you texted first?? is cause you are a douche like that

W: you can text me whenever you want to, or want so, any time, I don't care.. What do you mean

W; i always answer you back, well you need to bring your booty over here when you are feeling better so we can talk about it when I'm making you very very very happy

W; *kisses*

Q: *sigh* first of all TRUST me I'm a chick... I remember shit, cause THAT is what we do, the point is maybe this is a great chance to move along

W: How am i holding you back? you can always do anything you want, preferably to me

Q: Look, we SHOULDNT talk about it cause what WILL happen is: you'll fuck me silly, then we won't mess with each other for a month, and I for one need a LOT more than that

W; Let's have more sex then!, I don't care call me!

W: I just figured not to bother you so much at times that's all

Q: No you ain't!.. Is NOT smart especially when you try to fuck me without a condom (yeah he tries this A lot more frequently as of late..no worries my period still on track my check up postdate his last attempt) which isn't smart of me OR you and really.. WTF do you really even know about me??

Q: and reeaaallly Be real is NOT a "bother" is just simply you doing your own shit and hey it's cool I know what it is and what it isnt but is just not helpful when you are comparing in your brain sexual chemistry or umm,, Actually Horny ( and you are the asshole that cant reply a text back!)

W: Q I always think the same

huhwhat?

W: I have the same thoughts a lot

W: and I have condoms ready!

W: So please don't worry . I promise to be good, no funny stuff and slip them on and you do that amazing stuff you do, Come on! and

W: when did I not reply?? Tell me!

Q: Whatever, Is not worth the argument about the texts, trust me THAT shit was a wrap almost as long as I've known you (the texting you shit) unless you want me to go there , call the second string girl who I'm sure is not as good, as smart or as sexy as me but will have to do, train her well.. wTF I've been messing with you that long?

W: I know is that long...

W: I hang out with my mom every night and chill

*snort* Jay z says we don't believe you and we need more people

W; Well I WILL get in tough with you next week, I want you to be better

q: dude is Ok you don't have to "just tell me" that, whatever... is cool

W: when I see you i'm going to be spanking that ass soooooooooo extra Hard Q

WTFuckityFUckFuck :s UGH so now is, like... it's NOT done

MTV AWARDS FOLLOW-Through... this will be painful but I have an award show tradition to uphold

Preshow:

what the Fuck is Amber Rose wearing?, when does it stop with the Fucking Catsuits?? Kayne you fool NO ONE that shit looks suspect and publicity hungry as hell.. she looks like a Slave of the future

OMG GAGA! what is That A Gilded peacocked suit thingie??!! Gagita Stop! bwahahahahhahahahah KERMIT THE FUCKING FROG IS HER DATE!

Ashley Greene: who are you, why are you wearing Matter red lipstick like you are in 1990?? Oh But the mention of some of those Twilight kids, I'll assume she is in that crapfestival!

Um Green day guys look good.. why Billy's head is SO fucking big? why is his tie a TASSEL??

Amanda Bynes Still looks Like Guiliana Rancic's First sheriff deputy at the Fucking lollipop guild, but the simple black dress is delicious!

Shakira looks great, nice makeup, cute dress I STILL hate She-wolf and.. what is adrenalize mamita??, yeah Gaga is Very grace Jones: HA! I KNEW she'd Name check Crystal Castles! and bat For lashes! she BEEN cribbing from them!!

Pink looks like a sexy Cockatiel, her makeup is beautiful came with the fire department truck... Is she wearing THE SAME DRESS AS SHAKIRA??... LOVE the dress though, aw! she is back with Corey Hart, I love em together!

Sway Looks a MESS... Gaga Is just killing my fucking spirit the hat, Kermit, is just a mess

I REALLY could give a fuck less about these Twilight kids and that pug nosed one with Muscles

WHY is Buzz Aldrige butchering the Best Breakthrough??!? why is he drunk??

who are these fucking little kids?? something sponsored by Sears... how Budget

I Love that Taylor Swift kid (not her music though) , she looks super gracious and grateful, but arriving in a carriage and with this glitzy a dress??? Is NOT the Oscars but she has a train and Swarovski Crystals til Jesus comes!

who the FUCK IS JUSTIN BIEBER?? BWahahah Puff Daddy Is NOT even being interviewed he's made to stand there while this kid gets interviewed while the two heffas stand by his side like snoop dogg leashed hoes

Alicia Keys Is the First time I've seen her looking appropriate, great fit, awesome dress, cute, hair right, skin not broken out!

UGH I want Someone to take Kristin Cavallari the fuck DOWN, the little heffa is so smug... so smug about NOTHING!

Cobra Starship is so cheesy Goodness!, all the boys look good!

Naturi whatever from Fame looked cute with all them Fame boys and her gray dress I derive great glee from seeing her do better than them other two bitches that kicked her Chocolate two-parents-having self out and harassed her out of her own group (yeah, exactly, Who?)...but her hairline and Vivica's are having a Hide-off!

Jermaine's Hairline Gave me life, he wanted to act coy and surprised about the tribute, he is such a glorywhore!, he with Jermajesty's momma!

Fefe Dobson is Back!!!! I Love this so much! she looks cute as heck and annoyed at kim the Big ANTM Lesbian!

Leighton Meester looks cute as ever very..

WHAT IN The fUCk Is J-LO WEARING!!!!!!?!?!? HOLY SHIT Is A Clusterfuck of Busted: Velvet shoulderrettes, short Gauzy, beige, a Lady Guinevere hairdon't!

Beyonce's dress looks Unique and complicated, and good fit and color on her so I'ma guess her Mom didn't make it (since she only makes fishtail lines that her own daughter can't walk in with extremely tight satin which makes bulges where there are none!) , she should live her life on Mute, would be on her BEST interest!, she is a ridiculously beautiful girl, just dumb as rocks, Oh lovely her own flack got fresh on camera!, and she had to stop em?! I love how Lainey Gossip outed her on the maybach bitchout

The Show

Madonna! ha! they already outdid that bunk ass BET tribute, why is she lippy! I think she is wearing Latex hosiery?? Jesus! she is weirdly bossy, then getting "Tyra show" on us saying he did this, i did that, he did this i see myself in him blah blah blah... I couldn't tell if she was in fact weepy or mean.. her Botox is fucking with me!

They have dancers do Thriller and Bad, and Smooth Criminal!... There must be a SHITLOAD of pressure having to be front and center getting that choreography clean! But I love that is dancers white, black boys and girls! that Is awesome to me for some reason instead of his brothers being extra or Chris brown or JT

OOOOOOOOOHHHH Janet is gonna do Scream is like the studio got re-did like the vid, she is doing his voice and hers, is like when they mixed Aliyah's with her brother... Jesus! the whole part where they danced together... was removed and she did it onstage but was totally in sync matching his just like the vid! Very perfect, kudos Ma'am!... she looks angry defiant, not about to cry either!, OHHH I forgot she wasn't welcomed at MTV due to the titty stuff!

Russell Brand came with a Top hat bless his heart i hope he makes fun of all them gringos, i want someone to please kidnap Kathy Perry and silence her forever... Joe Perry you could get it any day still daddy!

Russ is too awkward at the beginning blah blah blah

UGH Taylor Lautner Stop with your snout and Muscles talking to Shaki: boo!... it's been confirmed she and Pink got same dress!. I want Gaga to get this, i'm even mentioning the other nominees: WTF TAYLOR SWIFT??..Whatever at least the kid will be grateful OMFG WHY Is Kayne shitting on this.. what a bitch, over Beyonce?? he got booed off the stage and Jewel got up to clap everyone did!, he is such an unkind suckass

What a piece of shit this guy, way to one up a kid, dick!

Back from commercial: Leighton Meester and Jack Black... he is annoying me, Rock video: Coldplay might take this but I think everyone needs to fallback to the Followil family!... Oh well Green day won, eh!

Two kids I don't effing know they are talking and being extra loquacious i hate these type of kids... Taylor Swift is doing something: which was nice and a big showy number even if i could care less for her music, but that was a good way to show professionalism after that Kayne shitfit

OOOOHHHH GAGA! My one reason to watch (second is Muse) she has black men vogueing and wearing lace unitards and I'm LOLOOLLOLOOLOLOO and is Paparazzi and she is singing LIVE( that one and poker face are my face) This bitch just put a leg up and spread eagle sat there to play the piano, now she is bleeding into her slutty applique! this is theater folk ....They hung her!!! red eyes blood! a mess! I LOVED IT ALL

Nelly looks cute but her dress is NOT the business that Cavallari person is there with her; WHAT? Wisin Y Yandel estan Nominados??? the fuck?.. I still want gaga to get it cause I don't really like em that hard... or the Cobras:............ Britney??? what ??

Whatever Megan Fox is a douche I love that they put her out... Fuck Green Day is BRINGING IT!! what a bitching riff! LOLLOLOLLOO they are putting people onstage! a fucking mosh pit and a security nightmare! CROWD SURFING!!! Love it big headed monster!

And now Beyonce is caterwauling about something in her sheer pantyhose, surely the spastic dance is about to come.... oh of course.. this is such an regular ass Beyonce situation where she is shaking about and whatnot saying some vapid stuff eh!, you know what's a fucking shame?? that Solange is singing in the house band tonight and she is doing "use somebody" and even though is NOT kings of Leon I appreciate so much her balls to do that But they just cut to commercials *sigh*

The Kanye Boo-out made me cackle, the asshole had it coming!

Awwww shIIITT Museeeeeee I've stanned HARD for Muse since I saw High Tension and had to go find everything they ever did...Origin of Symmetry, Absolution (my fave) and Black Holes and Revelations get a LOT of play in my home.. their cover of Nina Simone's Feeling good
is still one of my top fives... it was great to see them, to have them rock out, be able to do Live Music and the folks from the other side of the on presenting them... real awesome...

OH Lawd! Em, Cindy Lauper and Tracy Morgan! what a hot mess!!! Loved it

J-Lo Shut up with the "homegirl" impersonation you look a fucking simple mess: Hip hop award, The room will NOT stop Booing Kanye; Em won and I ask you this: Did Em get surgery or something?? his face looks like he had the mother of all facelifts!??

word Trickles through twitter that Kanye was kicked out!

Oh Asher Roth's girlfriend has the Most Beautiful Cinnamon skin, kind of looks a bit like a cross between that Jhona girl from the real world and Lenny Kravitz daugther

GAGA GOT BEST NEW ARTIST and her outfit is indescribable! is all lace, her face is covered in lace a crown made of lace, red panties tits can be seen she gave it to God and The Gays, Jesus H Christ! (I could just love her forever for this)

OH WOW Girls ruled tonight, while Beyonce put a simple ass show with a million clones and a fan PINK Is singing "Sober" live on a high fucking wire with a piece covering her titty UPSIDE DOWN being held by her feet... and now spinning! and doing pirouettes and turns and shit! Is amazing!

Video of the year and NO one would stop booing Kanye, I want Gaga to be extra but Simple Girl who will copy Pink's performance next year and pass it off as her own... OH. wow that is the most gracious thing Beyonce ever did for Destiny's Child, she just called Taylor back to the stage to let her finish her speech!! sweet

OOHH Jay Z just rolled up and went straight to the stage to perform, love what he's wearing, Alicia is also on stage with him and she changed and she did something a bit different to her hair and she still looks STUNNING, she has a style problem for onstage and award show for years! when is not that she has her skin or hair issue but tonight she is Flawless! absolutely so, jewelry, skin, hair, accessories todo todo! (did I tell you when my ex's family were minding that club she came over, her kin was terrible but she was extremely sweet gracious and super cute and tinsy!)

Ok that's it, me and Spicky are going to bed, but share your impressions and um, wtf with these man-foolishness!, Russell toned himself down so so so much

Eh! Shitty

2009-09-10T13:14:00.001-04:00

So I'm staying home today, called in sick cause I'm tired, I don't feel good after spending the last two days coughing sneezing and shit and Spicky also has the shits, oh and so do I... also I have a HUGE allergic reaction to mosquito Bites, so I told Manita that it made me feel special cause I look like I have Bubonic Plague Boils

Multiply that times 4, hurts and itches like hell, awesome, i can scratch and infect it more OR rub alcohol and antihistamine til Jesus comes

So just as well

however, I complained previously about the place next door remodeling and how I think it brought their mice all over.....Correction

A BIG FUCKING RAT Which I had the pleasure of meeting face to face today

******aside what???? Muse is going to be at the VMAs??? between that Gaga I'm watching and doing my usual Blog hate.... unless i decide to be getting into "hoodrat things**********
I had to go out, buy shit to kill this RAT and almost had a mental breakdown in the aisle, two dudes came and picked out things for me told me I had to man up and buy a real trap so Spicky didn't get into poison, I bought poison for the closets and to put under the kitchen range and huge traps

Their Last piece of advice: Get you a man that will do this for you

I just to Karrie, Gem , Manita and the twins that I much sooner this animal die behind anywhere and I would sooner put up with the stench than touch it or see it again

UGH!

*speaking of stench, Febreeze has a Home Collection home Spray in Green Tea Citrus: AMAZING*

Ah and The sex Blog is up and running I have several posts done you can email questions I think and participate, y'all shamed me into keeping consistent, yesss! so flanilsensuality.blogspot.com, go and get crunk and cunty on that ass, and review the archives since there might be something there already posted which you might find interesting

Yesterday i had a shitty day too, with my mom calling me crying, 13 days after surgery my sis was still bleeding, the Dr insists everything is fine, my sister is pissing me off because she refuses to go to a serious hospital in L.A, one where they wont send her right back to that butcher, she refuses to come here for medical care with her kids "cause of school" (are you fucking stupid??? even IF she went to school with a husband that cannot even watch his own kids unsupervised, and two toddlers all she'll be able to do is work when the do Pre-k) ...is hard to not to be angry at her cause every solution you throw at her she declines, she acts like that's the only place where she can live when in reality she could be better off anywhere else, i think this all has to do with that douchebag she's married to, he barely tolerates mami (enough to accept monetary help) and knows that we all can't stand him for being a moron and a poor sports, besides the condescension he talks to everyone with.... cause they already got shitty credit, they don't have steady jobs, he can't drive, she doesn't make a lot of money, care for him and her kids would be better here, SHE COULD JUST WALK IN TO A HOSPITAL... oh cause get this her gyno wouldn't give her a sonogram yesterday (mami wanted to know if blood was pooling in her womb, but finally another dr. is running a blood test and a sonogram today)

all up to the last minute my mom kept calling me and my brother crying and shit, but then she had the nerve of saying Maybe I should come... right I get to lose my job and money i can't afford to Babysit my nephews and her husband? cause essentially I can't dress or cure a wound, I can't take temperature, I can't check blood pressure.. I said no she guilt tripped me and kept bugging me at work and then when i called my sister to tell er to go to L.a she hustled me and my bro off the phone, never picked up again yesterday, for me is hard to not be angry cause;

Either you enjoy victim hood and martyr syndrome (Oh she always says something smart when people ask her about all 3 of us like Oh Paulie is in the navy, Q is working with a lawyer has her little apartment and i'm min this little town with 2 kids *smirk*...... Really?? why can't you leave???)

Or your husband is truly a selfish asshole and so are you for putting your kids through upheaval and hunger in that shit ass place when you could have them secure and stable

Or you are nuts and me being there is NOT gonna resolve shit, fuck you can't accept anyone's advice so why bother?

In the end mami decided to come, my brother ended angry at the whole shit cause mami is interrupting his Disney Proposal and my aunt gave me an angry earful, for the same reason, is getting harder for all of my family not to be mad at her, Not over surgery (they see no issue with that and everyone agrees she needed it cause initially she had just loose skin draping on her, and indeed initially 4 hands worth of skin came off... she went really quick to her weight but she had a huge freakish pregnancy belly with Nate Dawg) and really you can't control how your body reacts but with her attitude of letting a god damned train run her over, she doesn't want to lift a finger to better things in her life and when her husband or kids ain't the excuse, something as silly as school (and probably not areal degree but like Divinity school) she grbs on to that to not be proactive about her shit...

The only bright spot yesterday was that i told my brother that he HAD to wait til night tonight and propose UNDER or In front of the Cinderella Castle, he loved the idea so he's gonna arrange for it! (when they get back i'm having a sit down with her about commitment and fielding my mom and problems in Marriage Q style)

Vanessa da Mata/ Ben Harper- Boa Sorte, Good Luck: Yeah I am needing some of that today plus I'll also have to deal with a weepy mother this afternoon... But Ben and Vanessa always give me the happies when I'm down so Together should be better!

Oh and Retire to a dark room if you won't watch Glee on weds on Fox ... I laughed until I cried, Sue Sylvester and the Gay Boy are my reasons for being

The Fuckery of my life

2009-09-08T22:21:00.006-04:00

I have to tell you that in the span of a few days, hours even:

I lost and regained my Drivers License and forty bucks

Had a drinkening with my family

Met my brother's soon to be fiancee (she don't know this), I just called him to tell him to propose specifically at night RIGHT under the Cinderella castle, He agreed it'd be the right type of showy

************************about the Fiancee: she is white homely, southern accent, hefty and the Black Haired Betty (with lots of ink) to the Chubbie Mean Bitch Curly Blond Haired Veronica he married; I think my brother is doing the same thing we girls do in relationships (complete opposites of my mom Badgering hard ways) but he did so in picking a girl: Like my brother is one to go into fancy Platitudes, discussions of Big ass extra books, homegirl sincerely asked him what an American expression meant (it was something having to do with sarcasm I'm sure), basically my brother would sooner forfeit the mean pushy opinionated extra hyper smart domineering woman, for a polar opposite, she is also probably someone that once my mom is comfortable she'll "discreetly" ask her if she's never thought of dieting... Girlfriend lived for me and Binks both when at 11:30 at night yesterday she ate medium Wendy fries and a Regular shake ... I told Binks and Binks Severely loved it, she said : "Oh wow if Mami woulda been there, It would have never ended... BUT That is very Hardcore of her"

But otherwise I promise you they both look THAT much alike, so I guess besides the kid (father never in the picture) then that is his "type!.... She is sweet though I'm not going to lie, and participates, and didn't lose at Checkers and loved on my grandma and dotes on my brother... i just hope it sticks for his sake, I think when they come back from Disney her and i should have a talk about fucking this up*************************

I deleted Weezy's number... I'm sure in due time he'll call and "gently" remind me who he is and whatnot but i tend to delete any number not save STAT (basically as I told my manita and Karrie: i take offense to being fucked with the same dick he does Substandard ugly bitches with white hair and black eyebrows BUT most importantly , extreme picture close up makes him look like a Salvadoran migrant worker albeit a beefy one! (which IS attractive) but also final two points: I stay picking up some really REAALLLLLY nice sexy dudes, so I don't need that mess shit at least they will do better bitches on the side and also I have told Manita and Miss G twice or thrice that he's been getting big (to the point he asks me if he is in fact getting bigger) and thing is: It's true, on a nicer guy I'd ignore it but Weezy is NOT nice and he went From Spain2 Flat styles Tummy (Oh God the First time I saw that dude Naked!!... Lawd...) to a healthy albeit hard-ish gut...HEY I'M Grasping at any and all reasons here! (all valid btw)

*spoke too fucking soon.. there he is hitting up my phone*

I deep sixed VM: he is too chickenshit, see, he came to the date I dressed him down and told him I'd NOT fuck with him, why you ask?? he comes with a fading hickey that he could NOT explain away, he tried to openly talk about it (I told him I'm not his girl so save that shit but to learn discretion and better picks) he rubbed my legs forever and I wasn't much having it, so I sent him off tepidly and WHHHHHYYYYY this moron knowing he didn't have much to say after that he goes and TEXTS me on his way home, THEN calls me then TEXTS me the next day

I said: look dude no hard feelings or anything but you are NOT a good fit for me, so is best if you don't contact me again... what You think i'm nice????... he tried to counter with No hard feelings i'd like us to stay friends

Fuck. That

I went ahead and blocked him as well as deleted contact points.. I don't really fuck with that lingering shit too much, I am Ice cold, i did the same to Spain2 ... I said i need a new team

The only one I can see squirming back in somehow would be Sortie and that's through blood sweat consistency and tears, and we did chat up this weekend but i made it super clear there was NOT a chance in hell he earned a date

Mami comes in 2 days and i'm seeing my Halcyon days of careless non guilt trippy calls come to an end

Also although there is much flirtage and movement now that I'm moving to reorganize the rooster (a tall milk chocolate Morsel by way of NY/ Cali, Financial analyst, a British Lad RIDICULOUSLY good looking, the usual hot gringitos)

There is The Bad the ugly and the illiterate, and that's always Funner for you heffas: here

Contestant # NEVER:

From: 615boys (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: hello

Sent Date: 9/6/2009 8:51:30 AM

hello berutyful,love the pics,and profile and would like to chat with you sometime,if intr,feel free to stop in and drop me a line or 2,until then take care......

Dear Blacklatina, The following images were automatically attached because your mail settings specify that new contacts must have a picture in order to email you.

Count the ways in which this is wrong... go ahead i'll wait: But Monie thought the kid was interesting- looking which is true only i'd say worse and also if you thought THAT would give you extra points... THINK again Pimping your kid on a dating site is not hot, nor does it make you more attractive... hooked on phonics would though!

From: ONAN08 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: Special Invitation

Sent Date: 9/6/2009 11:13:01 PM

My name is Jewell,

I admire the energy you display via your profile & picture...... I would like to chat with you, It's oblivious that your photo caught my attention!

The following images were attached to this message.

OBLIVIOUS: that is all ...no no wait: i'll give extra candy for Xmas to the first of you that tells me what Onan/ONANISM stands for in the Bible... if you do you'd realize the level of class on homey I mean World Class Fail!

and the best as always for last

Sent Date: 9/8/2009 9:18:11 AM

Here is a little about me, then think it over, then call me if you like what you SEE, please....?!?!?! I am a BOLD guy, I can speak whats on my mind with ease... I know what I am "looking" for and I won't "rule" out a serious relationship with someone, I am serious on here but when we are in=person, I am mostly; caring, a gentleman, honest, loving, kissing, cuddling, romantic, soft, never jealous, flirty, witty, smart, sexual/sensual, touchy/feely kinda GUY...!! I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO TAKE THIS WEBSITE SERIOUSLY ABOUT WHAT THEY ALSO WANT, ok, please....?! I DO NOT want to SEND the wrong message here, but I am NOT "OUT" just "looking" for SEX, ok, I do have some morals...?!
I am hoping to find someone who really, really, wants this type of relationship, a SEXUAL 1...?! Do you like to dress up, wear sexy clothes with heels and pantyhose?! I like to get dressed up, go out for a nice romantic dinner, then after that, who knows from there, as long as we are having FUN...?! I can send you a picture of me if you are a serious person, NO GAMES..?! Not into "1" night stands..... CALL ME SOMTIME, SOON OK; 2-774-822, please leave me a message if I don't answer, BYE! I am NOT here to "SWAP" pictures, sorry.... I do LOOK good and you have to trust me, believe me on this part, ok....?! Honestly, I am the nicest guy you'll meet, I know how to treat, pamper and SPOIL a woman too....!!!! If you do call me, don't use a "private or unknown number, I won't answer it, sorry...?! I work from 4pm to 1230am, so weekdays' are better for me...! I just like honesty, I am a good person..!

Josh

The following images were attached to this message.

WHAT
A
FUCKING
ASSHOLE
CLOWN
UGLY
INSIDE
OUT
DICK

yeah I reported him cause I'm a snitch!

Movies, shits and giggles

2009-09-05T19:03:00.005-04:00

Blah This weekend is shaping up to be super productive but none too extra

I mean My home has been top to bottom cleaned and I did my nails KKKKAAAYYYYYUUUTTEE as hell

shit even my hair got love and hot oil treatment

and spicky got a bath

and I watched this

Brick Lane: AMAZING MOVIE, Just amazing...the story, the images (this is how you film a fucking movie!).. WHAT A fucking moviiiieeee.... everything

I've loved you so long: *sigh* I wish there were more Gringito movies this good, not as a remake not as a bastardization of something else, just good shit with depth

Fuck it shit keeps this slow and after finishing this movie and my Sugar coconut Lime scrub I will do a monster update on the sex blog somehow... how about positions(My faves)?? and a quiz or two?

But I'm horny, and is Saturday and although I got 2 offers before Saturday Morning I didn't bite, and I lamely replied to a text from Shortie, missed out on the beach already for Saturday cause the day looks shit as hell! True to what I told you about team rebuilding I'm interviewing for virtually all positions (LOL) cause as we speak I don't even think VM and his non stop lukewarm blah-blah-blah is worth the trouble, Nor is that other little fool Spain2...you know?? shit is Sunday and I don't know I want to have him even though he is at least coming OVER (don't be cute)!!!, But yeah I immediately got a few things I'm in fact "prospecting" (no not the asshole 6'2 e.r doctor that was interviewing for a job but wanted to "relax with me " friday night and is a shame cause he looked like this

AND had the brass balls of even hitting me up again trying to plead his case and trying to find out why wouldn't i reply back to his Kind inquiries, I mean i do assholes not out and out assholes, even extremely fine ones) So far giggle with delight bitches for one is a Firefighter/bar manager, a man with a dog (sexy) (where is that picture?? nevertheless he is bald and , um white, and tall, and beefy, and he got extra points for saying my taste in music was impeccable!) .. we'll see, cause me and men of the uniform (as opposed of the cloth LOL) are notoriously good at "getting along" *snort*and this one

which scared me cause Um; Nica Parents and shit, but he is in my area (like super close) and looks EXACTLY like "Eyebrows" from the gym and you now can see why i wake up at 4:40 to go workout!

.....another is a luxury hotel manager Turkish by way of London (is there an accent?? Jesus help my panties stay Somewhat of a long-ish time!, I TOLD YOU Foreigners flock to me, this guy didn't even look the part!, instead extremely preppy, no?)

but eh! we'll see, remember there are a few elimination rounds before I bother with that date all i know Is that i'm NOT about to sit back waiting to see if my dude-situation would change, i'm going to go hard about it though!

Ah well let me go get rid of this headache, blog it up and I'll let you know how that date goes tonight, ok??

VV Brown Love, Less fun shit, and manthings

2009-09-04T10:48:00.002-04:00

VV Brown Is so Glorious and awesome and delectable and so doing her shit with Flawless voice and Style that I'm getting fevers and Vapors and I will NOT wait til the end of post to give you her hotness

VV Brown - Game Over: So Not only is she going HARD styles, being stunning but she's gonna have the Nerve of Not sounding like that recycled Conflict Free Yaki vapid mess? (hi Beyonce)

VV Brown- Shark In The water: Give me Life Mamita!! This is amazingness seriously Who styles this bitch? (actually herself, she has a store, at 5'11 is also signed to Elite I think and her half Jamaican P.R ass was the ONLY new artist to take main stage at Glastonbury, and that's Huge, only the Biggies get there in the main one) she hit shades of Pre Crack Winehouse and That Skin??To.Die.for I'm having an overload! Chocolate Chicks that aren't falling in line with the bootyshaking bullshit are SO criminally under looked and under appreciated, and after the RES/Fefe Dobson debacle I promised self that All these ladies doing anything other than formula-generic-pretty-song-he left me-don't -leave-me-I Hurt songs was going to get every word of mouth I can give em

Use Somebody: Can you die at her strumming guitar and covering Kings Of Leon??

Crying Blood: Vanessa Brown Girl Stop! GUUURRLLL Stop You are so Boss!

Ahh I Needed that today

No seriously today I'm on my gives a fuck mood and probably running on my 3rd day wearing WILDLY Inappropriate shit to work, Mostly I've practiced my makeup and come to work wearing heels and very short things, this has backfired from the fact that We've been SO unfussy but in trial ( The "Victim" is as much a piece of shit as the defendant) so I've had to get lunch for my boss and now my feetsies are on flipflops

at work

Observe

This Dress Believe You me is on the mid single digits, and No I'm NOT a mid single anyfucking thing, but! when I'm having good days I have gotten to know and notice my lower body is what Might get out of control so sometimes I find skirts and dresses that are NOT on my size but if they flare or fit the boobage or are long enough I'm good to go, Obviously the dress LACKS length, but I also didn't much care at 6:55 am

And I wore Monie Sponsored shoes, so SEXY!

anddd today I'm Please that My Makeup isn't as extra as I thought ( I used black glittery powder eyeshadow a little wet to line my eyes so I went with a sheer gloss on the lips, Meh! I felt like trying it!

(never mind my skin I'm having serious issues with that the past few weeks, is stress) And also MommyJeans got a load of my mood the other day and why this 50 year old grown woman says:

"Oh I know what you need! Fairy Dust!" she proceeds to get that mess out of her Neck Amulet (yeah!) and Sprinkle me Before I can say shit with Blue Sparkly Glitter

I looked Stripperly and my boss certainly had something about it, when I was going to open my mouth to explained he said: "What Someone Sprinkled you with it instead of it being that you did some shamewalk this morning??"

Um MommyJeans

OH, Say no more!

So in less happy News My sister is STILL not doing great, and the pictures she sent me were too heartbreaking to even discuss, so now for sure this pretty, cute, smart 28 year old girl would PROBABLY need corrective surgery

Mami had to end up flying there to set shit straight cause: We've found that: Dude is a "surgeon" like Mami is an Md AKA a GENERAL title not a specialty,

He is completely unconcerned, Mami suspects Binks extreme swelling is a reaction to whatever she was cleaned with due to the generalized location: But THAT was one stressful day cause:

Mami called 20-30 times trying to get me to locate a ticket while i'm at work then this HEFFA has the balls that every time I gave her price/ticket/info on a flight then is: Can't it be non stop? Can't it get to L.A earlier? can't it stop somewhere else?

I'm Like MAMI I CAN"T DO THIS AT WORK

Then my boss was needy

Then Fucking State attorney's Office calls to give me grief about something my Boss did and after I Reply several times: I DON"T KNOW ABOUT IT HE WAS THE ONE THAT DID IT
I ended cussing a bitch out

Why 5 minutes later the boss of this bitch calls me to act sassy on the phone??
Guess who got a dose of the same shit???

Ok?! don't fuck with me on a shitty day, Just don't!

and then My Brother in Law the Moron to end all morons found a ticket acceptable to mami, but Noooo he doesn't call her, he calls ME at work to blah on and on on his Slow Sizzurp speed about god knows who the fuck what I hung up on him twice telling Him DUDE I GOTTA get off the phone

Um Why is he calling himself by another name? ... like seriously his name will be like, James... but now He decided he's going by Michael like some Shiesty tax evader, the worst thing is that my sister swears everyone in that POS town is going along with it, she isn't so when he REMINDS her his new name is "Michael" she says: Good for you Has-Been I married JAMES not Michael!

What a Fucking tool but seriously today she has another trip to the d.r, Mami is fuming cause she suspect she is bleeding internally and that's why she is sooo big, so she is asking for a sonogram and going to threaten that dude with getting a lawyer by the end of next week to sue him unless he refunds every cent my sister paid AND the e.r Bills, plus she is ready to go on tv and print with it...

Yeah Mami goes HARRRDDDD and that's when you gotta love her for it, I Had a long stern talk with Binks not just about body but about acceptance and to stop living that way or let mami guilt trip her, I did tell her mami is 127% right bitching her out and asking begging cajoling for them to move out of that dusty Bowl of Shit where they live, cause every single fucking thing is a real live emergency the kids are either alone or with whomever can take them, "Michael" can't do shit and is on one seizure every two weeks at least, and my sister with as much work background and references as she has has to scrape by on a vanity help job where she isn't regularly paid

and that is fucking unacceptable when at the very least she'd have free room board, food and babysitting if she lived here, fuck at least move to a place where the E.r is not hour and a half away!

That whole thing makes me angry and as a P.S: Mami tore that Dr a NEW ass just a few minutes ago, is en route to a Lawyer with pictures and the live subject and you know why?? cause the moron INSISTS that everything is "fine" even though he just drained 50cc of fresh blood out of my sister and Mami asked him : Would it be "Just Fine and perfect" if it was your daughter???

Not just that but my mom also thanked him kindly for almost killing my sister for free, see, he told her he wouldn't compensate them cause "he almost did it for free" the second time and that she was "looking great" before this correction so he doesn't get it.. Mami asked him how mamy tummy tucks end with Back scars

so I'll report more soon

Oh and you know what was forgotten in this riffraff?? Paulie's Birthday, my poor brother was unaware of the second surgery, Binks' troubles or that mami left.. when he is due here Monday!

He said he felt alone and that is one in the long line of shitty birthdays to his name (I don't blame him, us kids have never had spectacular birthdays, except Now I do cause I have AMAZING friends and I remove myself from my Family's bs just in time for the occasion!)

Speaking of amazing Friends My Manita says I should take a picture with a Disney postcard she sent me and just as soon as I fix this hair I will do so!

and I never check my Mail Unless Manita forces me to but why youngblackbeauty had sent me a sweet thank you card from her and Rusty?? AWWWW I want to eat them both alive!

Manfront adventures

Seriously is sooooooooo lame how guys in my team need revamping!

Spain2: was hitting me up yesterday asking about my sister and that was NICE but Manita says we don't need to give extra points for Niceness as that should be a GIVEN

I don't disagree, I think neither one of the girls or me are particularly on board with Spain2: don't get me wrong, he serves a function and a purpose but I could as soon let sleeping dogs lay in Miami

That DominicanYork Date Fail Lil Wayne-beyonce Listening Hot mess: I.Med and texted me a few days back, I have in turn NOT replied, sorry, I don't have to be nice or whatever

Weezy: has relocated, 7 blocks away from where he lives, I don't personally care but I ask you this, should I test my luck and try being done with him again? Like commence "Leave-me-alone-Mayne-we-don't-need-this" Protocol??, cause you know he'll hit me back up soon enough, very soon, But the way i see it He already is Verboten in my joint, I could feasibly say I don't know where he lives, this could be a fresh start!

I think I should just serve my Standard: "Weezy go find a real girlfriend and leave me alone, teach her how you want your dick sucked, and your ass teased, and test out the s&m waters with her (this mythical good young girl that guys think they can drop Us Bad Girls for, she apparently also knows how to cook and has a sex drive, but is practically a virgin *snort*) but Move along , you are my hatefuck and I don't know you like me too much either, shit I couldn't even tell you what your favorite color of the rainbow is!?!"(whenever I say that he FLIPS the fuck out and starts texting all hours of the day and saying I should text him too then I remind him of his greatest Text fails, then he says FINE I WAS HAPPY AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE HAPPY then he sulks around a few weeks later Using my least favorite word MAMI and begging me to reconsider, this goes on for months and months until I'm horny enough to cave in, we've done this for 3 years and change and is always this sequence and It is always I who tells him: "Go Fuck yourself, fuck Off and leave me alone" (sometimes cause I like someone else, sometimes just cause I'm a hater)

So yeaaahh Maybe that!

Also I was getting some "Unknown" calls yesterday...at 12pm... you know what that means, right??? (Hi G.I Joe) I tell you they always come back whether I want them to or not, even TC did and got Bitchy Mc Bitch In such a dose that he knew it was a wrap

I told the girls I NEED some steady non bullshitudinous situation, it'd be heavenly to be sure, ya know???? just Cocksteady cause this thing with Vanilla Mocha?? Eh!

I mean Karrie called him my new gay BFF

she IS wrong but she ain't

He hits me up every day online and is NOT to talk about anything in particular just shoot the shit talk work, and the night before and his plans but nothing too serious nor too concrete, other than I guess we are having Dinner Sunday?

My place

Yeahhhhhhh He does not know how deliciously I cook but now I'm doing it just to do it, not to say he's not smart but all this aimless lollygaging and plans with his boys ( I told him Gringos Biggest most unattractive quality is that "My boys" shit, I never see that with foreigners for the most part cause um, they have a Girlfriend or a family to be with or something!, like, is your boy gonna suck your dick, nurse you when you're sick and cook?? no then move the fuck on with your pursuits!) and lack of pro activity is just Eh! to me

And then there is the sex thing, While I like a dominant dude if you can't get hard if a chick doesn't lay there like a slab of cold marble, acting prudish or resisting any fun then Maybe I Won't be the girl.. Like I'm almost mentally accepting that sex will be bad or subpar whether he is a good kisser/toucher or not, in fact I'm not expecting a damned thing but good convo

We'll see (Yesterday he was cute though Panicking cause I didn't get a text and he thought I was mad at him or something)

SEE?? Revamping! I want trouble soon, the good kind

and no sooner I thought that that: SHORTIE AKA SPAIN1 Hit me up last night

Yep friends, not a text either, but a call, he woke me up in the middle of the night (for me... for some escapist reason I went to be like at 8pm last night)

I was so shocked that I picked up and played like I didn't know who it was for a while

He asked if I was mad at him I said: nope, not even, he asked why didn't i reply to his text: Oh That "hola Shit?" boy do better, you also didn't reply to my text the night before, shit matter fact you didn't CALL when you said you would, so really? you wanted me to beg??, Um Not I

He did have better sense than to ask if i had been seeing anybody, cause remember that went well for him the last time, he asked if he could invite me somewhere on his turf if I brought Spike I said, no cause I will have family over by the looks of it and also people that strand other people without a phone call don't deserve that opportunity

He tried a different tack and asked about me, my going ons, my family, my mom, Spike, how we should still go on a trip he also made some cute jokes, and we talked some more, I let him ramble on about feeling lonely and buying the famed motorcycle/and car and realizing is a lot of money wasted and what not and : Do I want rides on them, He thinks I'll love the New Camaro and the bike

"Eh! welcome to your midlife crisis fool, you should call me when you get mature/your shit together/ manner, not either or but all of the above"

"no No but I am I promise you, I will do better"

FYI Material shit is just that, is very un-impressive, you know and a car is a car to me if it goes from a to b and happens to have a/c, but congrats and all

I know you're not like that but maybe we can do a road trip somewhere, you can even drive it if you want

SOoo after that he asked some more stuff I t old him the girls were coming, he asked if I needed him to come take care of me cause it sounded like I was getting a cold, I said it was the a/c but yeah I sounded funky... that shit works TOO well now!

Then he said he missed me and that he feels bad cause now he has a bad reputation with me but that he's not gonna do that again

I simply replied: Do what you gotta do, friend, I'll believe when I see, cause I'm Doubting Thomas UN-Patron saint of Second Chances

Let's see if he's going to call back, but Karrie and Manita were into that team so they should be smirking as we speak

Oh Bang this shit tonight

Infernal- Redefinition: Heh! Mama's faves "Infernal" are serving so much?? Did They Vogue?? Did a Mikayela? J-setted some more? this is good for dressing in the mornings or running to at the gym and he looks so much like Tiesto, Um Yummers! Modified Bondage gear? Big shoulders and Fetish/leather?? Yes yes yes and yes

I am disgusted: a Long post

2009-08-29T21:13:00.005-04:00

Jesus... there is SO Much to tell you and I fucking had the whole post done, and I deleted it

ARRRGGHHHHHHHGGGhgh and I was already kicking my own ass for not updating sooner cause then this shit happens and most of you hate when i monster post and you have to read a litany of fucking crazery

so much good and bad

I don't even know where to start to be honest, I Mean I had a good FailDate, a BadGOOD sleepover a mess brewing with a wheezing member of the opposite sex, I have a mom back from a trip, a sister not doing "Great", a stupid boss, and I'm still not over that stupid cold/sore throat situation, a soon to be engaged brother... oh and I have the best friends ever

Ok I could start with that!: My friends Rule so so so hard! Mind you they are all awesome enough, we chat/text/email all day long but we also call each other when we're in need of a hug and a laugh, that is enough and I'm already pre-swooning that little Bit Karrie and the 2/5ths of the Biggities are coming BUT Monsters was going to be enjoying herself this weekend some of my Manita Mia, and i was Jay-Lous, not in a bad way cause Monsters deserves the fun and the hospitality but simply cause I couldn't be there with the kids, Is basically no money, no time and already asking for time off at work to see the other ladies when they come... What do you know First, my Manita asked me a few weeks back if I wanted to borrow the money and just go there but it is not something I am comfortable doing, I don't like inconveniencing people and stuff... why did 3 days before their meet up both these heffas gang up on me to ask me if I want to accept the ticket and just go... i Love them for it cause:

a ticket to Cali from Ft lauderdale on 3 days notice ain't cheap

they tried

They would want to have my uncouth crass ass around their cute sweet classy selves!!

I couldn't accept for the obvious reasons and also I have no one to mind McPuppy dog with my mom on a trip herself

BTW She came from that trip acting a mess and demanding and needy as ever, but she brought me:

A cover-up for the beach, which I'll use alone for home or the nude beach but she don't need to know this

A small bottle of Mango rum from the Cayman islands

2 Bracelets, one wooden, one metal

A Frida Khalo fridge Magnet/puzzle

and then she gave me some MAC creme eyeliner and a highlighter cream... yeah go figure!

This was not without it's perils since I had to spend a whole day there, and this after she ripped ME a New ass regarding my sister Binks calling us like at 6 am (I didn't get the call, my phone's been so shitty that I just had to reload the whole thing) ....in short: she had a correction of the tummy tuck, started bleeding out while at home, seizing up, the kids were not with her, her husband who CAN'T drive was, she had to be taken to the hospital, and given blood and somehow NOT ONLY does mami get ON me about how this is her last save to my sister and blah blah blah (which I know is Bullshit) but why won't I insist she move here (cause she's a married adult mom of two??), and I BEST not discuss this in front of my stepdad cause SHE wants her tummy tuck... you want to believe she does not want to even attempt to workout??? nothing?

*eyeroll*

Now then I'm not doing awesome financially my uncle was playing fucking stupid about my a/c til today... he's coming to take a look tomorrow after Mami enforced on his ass, nothing new uner the bullshit ass sun

I clipped my hot neighbor's truck yesterday but it was his back he was coming fast on a blind curve, he apologized and we both kept it moving, I should ask if we are cool as an excuse to mess with him Awesome

I've been to the gym religiously and faithfully all week cause now is obvious i have 2 people to eyefuck, they work out together (so I'm hoping no gayness but wtf I care, you know I'm inoffensive when I'm in a repeat business place) One i call Eyebrows and he looks like something straight from central casting Latino enforcer type, the other dude is much older than him big as a fridge with almost white hair either he's been a body builder all his life or he is just an old timey model, stunning to look at the other day he said hi while my hair stuck out in every direction and I said in regular conversational tone: "I so would twice on Sunday daddy, now where is eyebrows?"..... how about 2 machines over from me eyefucking me hopefully my hair covered a bit of my face but where is my self censor button???

Is no small feat I've been working out cause I'm still having that catch on my throat every morning and I feel it in my chest and I've spent a couple of night just having coughing fits as soon as I lay down, so I had to buy meds and try to stop being stupid/greedy about antibiotics and took the left over ones I had, but why did I stop?? Of yeah! THAT shitty side effect of MAKING YOUR stomach roil all day and runny poops so yeah we're back to that.

and why after the Not signing my check fiasco and the "For sexual Favors" crap my boss wrote me a check and made me look at the memo line, this time said: "For Nothing", then them two little assholes spent all Friday making cute fun of my hair calling me Floofy and shit, he asked with deep concern if i was going on, when i said no he said: Thank You Jesus! cause i was thinking of holding a quick potluck for your haircare

Dick

Now, manstuff

So, Vanilla Mocha and i having great convos, whatever, we settle on a date Thursday, pretty much is almost a given we will have sex cause we've vaguely talked about it, not too deep or anything cause I never share too much stupid bullshit with dudes, all they need to know is No entry without condoms, no girls, no kids no pee no poop, no animals and that's my limit, he said we shouldn't talk too much about it cause by that explosive make out session the other night is clear that we are on the same page and the chemistry transcends that whole talk crap (his words not mine, which is why I'm hot about it and bothered)

But we haven't been wasting time JUST talking about that, no we've had really great conversations about everything under the sun, family, we chat while at work, he keeps saying some shit like You are SO not like the Latinas I'm used to date (I told him to check his assumptions at the door cause not only am i NOT but he needs to update his dating group if the women he dates are SO dumb he's gotta be amazed at one of me most fucked up. lazy, chunky, unnice person I know (me) when Most of the Latinas I happen to deal with are the type to be smart, ride or die for their loved ones, superwoman complex, smart degree having chicks!) nonetheless he tells me constantly that he is kind of floored that I'm so smart, and single blah blah blah

So i get to his place: he has BOOKS! people, not stereotypical male bullshit books like "The Art Of War" (why do men think we are not hype to this?? is cheesy, is almost like a fucking book mandate, I read it and I HIGHLY doubt that most of the dudes touting this shit like gospel have REALLY read up on it... ugh! change the game, read "The Prince" or something!)... Nay he had anthropology books, Deepak Chopra, social science stuff, a biography or 3, COPS DVD *swoon* and left Futurama on while I surveyed the place, played with his cat and tapped the fishtank (HA a Fish and a Cat make a FISHYCAT, which is my other acceptable terminology for Pussy, alongside with "Strange", only thing is that Strange applies for cock too, the catch is: it has to be random, not well known, sexy parts, Stick around a bit to see it used in a sentence, mmkay?)

he showered, came back out and asked if I was hungry, since I wasn't and he was he asked if we could drive to Pollo Tropical or something

I agreed,he gave me a million pecks and grabbed a bit of ass when I got up, also, default walk anywhere is apparently Holding hands... That shit makes me sweat under my arms for some reason... is so... I.Don't.Know... it kind of grabs at something and I don't know what to do with it, doesn't feel bad but it sets all types of house alarms on code red

(Karrie B says That I'm too much of a dude and that this is apparently why i need three dudes, One to fuck, one to date and be cuddly with and one for shits and giggleage... i could take two seriously though... anyways she kind of has a point as you will observe)

we do that I get enthused about a guava cheesecake (cause i need that shit in my life, right?) and we talk the whole way, while he rubs my leg, which I like, we take the stuff to go, go back to his place, and he puts everything in front of me, I fed him some cheesecake and shit while he rubbed my feet and marveled at how little and cute they were, he said for a chick my height that was almost freakishly small and that although he wasn't a feet man, he might reconsidered that position (yes, you go ahead and do that) also he knows quite a bit of Spanish, but when he does speak it, he does this RIDICULOUS dramatic shit he's heard in Telenovelas and Is a hot mess, sadly he also knows all the cuss word... what.a.mess

well we sat there for a while and then he tells me: Q I'm kind of not just tired.. but nervous, really nervous! is you the fact I don't think i've been with a nicer, smarter, more fun chick and is just like.. I don't know what to do with myself

um why? what do you mean?

Cause of you and the more I think about it the more nervous I get and I cannot concentrate on, you know?

sex??

si

Boy stop! i don't have to have Anything, is cool if it happens, cool if it doesnt

however he kept rubbing and touching every single situation JUST RIGHT

I swear he needs an upgrade in his life cause why would a 30 year old man marvel at a woman with no pubic hair??? I was like: Kid stop acting brand new... well you never know with some chicks.. just wow

No You wow, is basic principles of care, trims or depilatory stuff!

we kiss some more but I'm like you don't need to do or prove anything you know?

we moved things to the bedroom and his acoustic and electric guitar where there all sweet looking, he said neither one was very good, either way I'm sensing him to be REALLY nervous and not all ready to go whatever so I'm thinking: OK whatever, maybe he is scared maybe not attracted, either way Is probably one of those things where whether it is my fault or not i'll get taken out of the race for the simple fact that HE couldn't work it out, so I'm pondering this shit but he's still kissing me ever so nicely and yummily and his eyes are soooo pretty and hazel and shit

he took my panties off... saw the clit ring and it was a wrap!... essentially he didn't have a heart attack cause he is a young dude in good health but it looked like it could have happened

Then he started asking me all types of questions and blah blah blah then he told me it was hard for him cause I'm so absolutely different from any chick he's dealt with but i asked him: Would you rather I sat here playing dumb prudish and passive aggressive??

In the end I, Your sarcastic QQbear friend spent most of the next 2 hours talking and cuddling with this dude, Yep! awesome, frustrated as fuck and naked, and he kept fucking kissing me great which only made matters worst

he walked me to the car (handholding) and texted with me all the way home , also he said how his male pride was hurt and shit and how the other night we did not have that problem, I hugged him told him there will be a next time and told him to quit fretting

we talked Friday Via message a bit tepidly, we talked about a lot of things, briefly about the possibility of him coming to see me next week and even shorter about what is it that he wants in bed (at this point I brought it up) he says he likes and wants me but in one simple word he is used to being Dominant and it seems that's the last thing I need

I replied: Did you ask ME how I want to get down??

After I clarified a few points for him none too graphically and kept the convo going on other directions he left, came back later, called me that night and texted some... I called him this afternoon we talked a little bit but is nothing to write home about

My reservations come in two shades: I like him but men being men he might have issues liking me after not performing

I can't play coy in the bedroom all day every day inasmuch as I love to be a submissive baby, PERIOD

so we'll see what happens if and when he comes, is a shame cause I like him so much, i do (and you KNOW I never say that easily about anyone)

Spain2: he's back friends, from his so called Nicaragua trip, he didn't elaborate much begged begged begged forever for me to answer him back swore that that's why he had gone AWOL then said he had some pics for me but never did really show me? whatever, nagged me all week to come see him and spend the night (ugh Gut Suckage for hours on end) and then had audacity by asking me "Did I go to the Nude beach alone" Um I told him That it was none of his business only for him to ask how many dudes hit on me, I countered with this Jewel:

Boy Stop, did I just ask you how much native Strange you got while you were in "Nicaragua" (I know as factual he is on a troll for that, don't ask long stop, peeped an email from a site I know to be that

he said: Strange?

Pussy Homey!

SO I finally acquiesce to Friday night, and Saturday a trip to the nude beach

MANNNNNNN that shit was RIDICULOUS, the sex i mean like... that mothafucka got my number my size and my email, mmmmmmm mmmmm mmmm I told him No anal sex, and Of course i ended up having just that for dessert, the works, choking hairpulling, tasting of things, ear biting, face grabbing , leg folding a mess... it it helps any, he looked like a stingray got him cause I beat the shit out of him

and in a magical moment of bonding, he LOVES vh-1 shit as much as I do, the bad the ugly, the cheesy, he LOVES My Antonio and we discussed all the bitches while I gave him a massage, then he had me explain in detail the Reason for Chance and Real being there so i had to go back to Flavor of Love... the source of all evil, he then asked me if I found them attractive and peep the level of MY idiocy

eEwwwwww NOOOOOO They are Ugly SHORT SQUAT lil things with a leather daddy complex and coonerrific

"hey"

what?

Im short

............

But you are cute, smart and have a HUGE dick, why don't we go for thirds even though my insides are on fire already??

OK!

After THAT was rectified (my sex drive and my Faux Pas) he started to drift to sleep while I watched Boxing (was at the Hard Rock I.MUST.GO!) before that he said; Anything you want here is yours, so feel free to go to the fridge eat anything you want, go get towels, wash your clothes, whatever

Aww you are so sweet

I couldn't sleep for shit, he asked me about it twice cause i moved all over, even after I shut the tv down, then I slept for all of 20 minutes in the Uber comfy cloud of a bed and I woke up with a start! woke him up, double checked my hone I was like sleep walking thinking someone was taking my fucking car if you can believe that shit

He made me come back to bed and fell right back asleep.. I considered leaving in the middle of the night but supposedly we were going to the nude beach, so No.....I was about to fall asleep when He himself started getting some booty call hours messages *schnarf* that shit is out of business for a few days, girl! go back to sleep!

Bueno In the a.m he got up, went to put money on my meter, and i had this view

we had sex slept again and then my phone started ringing and it was mami... I also see I have missing calls from Binks, and that's when it was explained to me what happened to Binkie last night....what a fucking bummer, I tried her to no avail, Mami gave me more details and also told me my brother wants to propose to his chick when he comes down next week....um.. wow... well I guess we'll get to physically meet her, but mami sort of loves her and apparently her family have treated my brother nice(then again we never sit badly with families, us three kids know how to play that game well)

To Spain2 credit: he was bummed about not going to the beach and hugged and kissed me a little (too bad i don't like to be hugged and kissed during crunch times, I don't like to crumble when I'm needed), offered me fruit or an omelet (I declined) so I was summoned home, mami is thinking of going to spend time with binks, and BTW she was released from the Hospital already

Spain2 Texted me thanks for coming and being an awesome guest

Ok, um sure

why did I get a million texts from Weezy last night and today talking about missing and needing me and about needing the best stress reliever ever ?? I called him an asshole he asked why was I so mean to him?? (I'm tempted)

Rocco Deluca - Open Pages: This song is delicate and sweet, it made me go hunt for more stuff from him but nothing sounded as eerie as this,very Jeff Buckley

Emilie Simon- En cendres: I love her and her voice and all the little instruments she always incorporates in her music, the one song I can't stand is her cover of La Vie en Rose... is just not good to fuck with that so much

Bat For Lashes- Circle Songs: Ive become sick obsessed with Natasha Khan, she is beautiful and she is making strange music that punches me in the gut