So

A quickie post:

*Things at work are Really really good and Busy and I'm learning so so much, I like the work, he is fair, he pays me well, on time, he is grumpy weird but i like him (OMG the other day some dude randomly followed me  from Boston Market, like to my Job, i was livid and having crazies over that shit, My Boss made Ben Stein Voiced Fun, fuck him)

*I'm still having horrific internet issue Maybe this time the solution is final, but I spend HOURS with Belkin every other day

* I only wanted to come say OMG I CANNOT WAIIIITTTT to see La and Mon and Gem!!! Thursday I leave here, Lua is watching spicky, we are going to eat and lounge and work out together and shop and drink and Gem can't cause she is preggo but it'll be my first time seeing her face to face! OMGGGGGGGG I'm going to take lots of pics I have the best Nails for the occasion, I'll show you later! I'm only sad that Like Karrie aint there and stuff like that , but I have every intention of trying to make Sher's special day and also seeing some of these old whores come July

 * ANNNNNDDD finally OM and I are Dunzo or OFF But i prefer Dunzo cause I have 0.0% trust in him, you see, we didn't spend the weekend together, we talked but it was a bit weird and then yesterday he left for Alabama, and I'm schedule to leave Thursday so  he took me to Lunch on Monday.......... point is he got caught SO VERY red handed, very much so, to the point Monie thinks his balls won't come back down in a minute. I asked him flat out about being online and he tried to make it sound like I was slightly tripping but I calmly and reasonably explained WHY i  had that sort of feeling, he gave a weak non denial, I said Fuck it, let me check.... I saw a profile with no pic, not a lot of info BUT the few things listed/said IMMEDIATELY perked my antenna and my gut so intensely that after a bunch of days sitting there with a blind fake profile i decide to contact im Very brazenly, bluntly online, no opener just : Got a Picture??


And he replied, he replied with a picture, a fully clothed normal smiling pic, no questions about who I was or anything..... after that I used his christian given name and  UNLOADED so very completely, I called him liar, i told him this was over and to not contact me again cause I cant figure why when given an out from a person that clearly loves him he'd choose to lie, I literally unloaded uninterrupted, that dude was stunned... stunned stunned, he said nothing I wrote huge blocks then left the chat and told him to put his goddamned pics up cause he was officially opened for business


And let me make clear this wasn't about me not wanting a dude to get his porn or his flirt on or jack off online if it gets you off, cause at all this I don't think he was at any point porking anyone else based on how much he works, how much time was spent together and just the same gut feeling that told me right off That's HIM ONLINE (P.s: All the girls that have known of the situation from go agree to this) ... This is about : Lying when you didn't have to, purposefully playing with fire when you had no need cause the AMAZING bitch that lives 10 mins from you coulda have that any time day or night, this is about being underhanded and acting like I was in the wrong when surely the  fuck I wasn't, this is about being open forthcoming and accepting that being in a relationship, having feelings for someone, don't make you a bitchass, soft or signifies he death of your balls, cause last I checked I drained those on the regular, you know what does make you a bitch???  LYING , and being so damned simple about what you should have in your life, La is all telling me that Unlike Monie she doesn't think is attention she thinks this was all the ego of thinking  he can go out and get chicks  still, either way, yeah, done

Karrie and Gem were warning me he will try again,  but Binks just reminded me that I have that new extra app in my phone that blocks the phones from even texting me and at this is the thing.. I don't want to but i'm going to, sure in 2- 3 months when i'm all hard up for good cock, good pussy eating in an amazingly alluring package ( to me, yeah that means Hot and Tall, sorry and you gotta fuck well and have some brains and sense and no kids)  but I don't think I can try to make this work if there is not going to be a real acknowledgment that this is a closed relationship, that he needs to be 100% honest and real about what he wants etc, is a shame cause he is NOT a bad person, fucked up? pervy? sure but not bad, BROKEN, Completely dumb about expressing feelings, hardened ... But  he's been real supportive when I actually call and say I need him, in any capacity he can he helps me when i was scrapping bottom looking for work, and worried about money he's put resources at my disposal  and was always very pep girl about my job search, always telling me I'm prepped properly for my interviews, and Jesus, better that  My own mother and stuff so yeah, no questions asked, but he doesn't understand that relationships are about more than that and that I require MORE than "I got your bills" to fully feel we are cool, I don't require traditional relationship standards of anything BUT I require 110% honesty about everything that goes on, yeah even to say the REAL shit like:  "you are looking fat", "I want to flirt with other people actively but i wont dirty my nose up", "I am stupid, so holed me down when I'm not talking real good"


And please don't do the " you deserve Blah balh balh" i Know, I know that  not at a deep down level I know that right in the fucking surface, i'm awesomesauce, Ok? I can't help who i ended up growing feelings for and that somehow we got embroiled in this or that once i have eyes for someone I get stuff there for a while or that I don't socialize with guys, i don't club, i don't talk to guys I don't want to fuck, or find unattractive or uninteresting and my 7-8 male friends are that cause  that next level is NEVER gonna come, that's all me, that's all wrong, I can't scope possibilities while hung up on someone else, so i'm not always predating on dick when i have what i am but whatever, is what's up, I'm actually ok, I'm super duper excited about my trip, my job, the possibility of my money getting saved up, and all of that, I don't think it'll hit me/ bother me til weeks/months from now when i'm alone at home or simply not getting my fucking proper on, ad you KNOW I have a NO old guys policy so Um No I won't be using my old line up.... that's booooorrrriiiinnnggg ( plus i've completely blocked and ignored them all anywhoo)


OMG In other news this dumb shit...I'm OBSESSED with this fucking song..is a damned shame cause  i'm so NOT into the radio, or this chick or whatevs (Noisia's and Tiesto the bestestseststs)

..I'm not even into this talentless chippy but I cannot stop this shit

In other out of character pick this


Yes... britney effing spears.. ugh this shit is delicious and innapropriate, so damned wrong


Snoop Dogg & David Guetta- Wet: Lord Jesus this damned song is a party in a can!