A Rat, A Cold wench, and the Peyote Smoking Fool that dare cross her: A Day filled with WTFness

There is a RAT in my house again: Leftover from that construction shit, I know this cause I SAW IT prance around with my own two eyes onwards towards my bookcase area: To say I screamed/was revolted: Is the understatement of the century

Spike being the Bitch that he is came running and crying to me!

The Rat BTW was looking for HIS food *gag* (just writing this whole story is making me nauseous like I need to throw up NOW)

I ran away to my aunt's that night, I had to come back grossly beer-ered up and late and tired enough to be able to sleep... I'm not a helpless bitch but the thought of a rat alive or dead just repulses me in ways I cannot explain and turns me into a ninny (me who can walk/runs around 11 or 12 at night with a Swiss army knife in an area where people gross me out ) add to that the last time i had to get the nasty mouse, and the time that fat rat died in my a/c vent before the girls came and that them produced a MASSIVE fly situation which I can only assume were in fact MAGGOTS that fucking blossomed into Flies... as you'd understand I tortured myself with that knowledge for 3 weeks while that kept going and THAT made my insomnia worst, I'm hoping that writing about this and wishing that shit dead by the time I get back ( I laid poison all over) will help me NOT continually think about it... This place is very cathartic that way for me


So THAT was fun!!!


you know what else has been fun as hell??: Suddenly cold SoFl,

(I think J's Opus, my WhysoSerious Cold face SHOULD be brought back for the occasion)

in fact if I can't deal with this TODAY and as things stood this AM I'm Really wondering how the FUCKITY FUCK FUCK I'm going to deal with ATL, Is so well known my aversion and inability to deal with cold well that my mom called me yesterday and asked WTF was I intending to do and did i have me knee pain stuff, cause, Um THEY HURT

Is funny cause today Mommyjeans, Shaman extraordinaire waited me out of the elevator doing funny hands talking about giving me sunshine vibes since they know is my FAVORITE type of weather

And then Former Jewish intern said i looked like I piled up on EVERYTHING in my closet, that I looked like a hobo, I do, you don't even need a picture of THAT!

Boo Cold Fucking BOOOO



anywhoo the best part/most fucked up/weirdest thing is: OM must be Smoking Crack/ or Peyote or getting blotted with lsd or something, since that would make more sense than then past two days:

Let's start by telling you that: I've sent him messages, that have had spotty reply at best all because He was salty (I think) about my family meaning unavailability, sure I'm available but after 12:am, it's been like that all week, whatevs, I hate that more than people have any idea even if I like my family, I just don't know how to extricate myself from enforced "Hang out time' til whenever o'clock pm, so much so that I jsut got around cleaning and buying some stuff to eat a few days ago cause i Haven't been home (we still got play cousins at tia lusy's and is fun and all but shit is crowded and there are after work logistics that Suck Ass

Bueno

Counting on his tepid response and the fact he seemed to think that babysitting a dog was gonna put him out of commission til weds or so I fucking went ahead and ignored his ass, since, um we were not exactly talking

Xmas day he sent me a message which I ignored, I've been online and I know it and he knows it so we both know where/when and how to spot each other, I'm making no bones about that at all, I've been fielding prospect etc etc etc ) the next day he sent me a message (saturday) and we went back and forth for a bit til I asked what was he doing, he said fishing, even though previously we had unnoficially agreed to hang out before I went to ATL

Whatevs, I didn't even bother to reply to that, I ignore him the next few days then Yesterday he sees me online, goes on the available himself and then texts me "Good morning", I say hello, like 2 hours after the fact or some shit

He asks how is it going with the family, I reply they mostly left and I leave Wednesday til Sunday

OM: Oh Busy Busy

Q: a little but I'm sure you're busy yourself

OM: Staring to feel neglected

WTF is that a plaintive or an affirmation?? WTF ??? Is you playing?? did I not message you throught out the week to your spotty responsifications?? wtf?

Q: Me? or is that you? if it's me ANY time im not getting what I need, I am, in fact, neglected, but I can't answer that if it's about you

OM:??!?! you have been unavailable to me for, like over a week

Q: What? you are kidding right? Um not only have i texted you the previous week but actually asked about your plans before and after the dumb holidays way ahead, and during... Is not my fault you got busy/uniterested/whatever, but we are not mind readers I supposed, and yeah I have the texts to prove this is all factual information

Yeah I'm an asshole, sue me

After a LOOONNNNNNNNGGGG time knowing I'm right and he is stoopid he simply answers

OM: Tonight?

*sigh* I give it an hour and say:

Q: yes

Mind you I had a date I was iffy about (cause the guy didn't particularly make me very tingly but he is supernice, I'm just like meh! about it, I had already warned him that I didn't have much time or was too sure about making it) , so I called that off cause, i was feeling short on time, uninterested and it'da been assholic to go and eat and then not want to deal with homeboy, whatever, he was nice, a pilot, no kids but he just didn't say much of anything that interested me or made me want to find out or at least made me lust over him

But OM is a pissant or crazy or likes his foot shot cause his next text is:

Are you sure??

WTF??? NOW i'm mad, I don't like bullshit

HUH?? what Now?? If I couldn't or didn't want to se you I'd just say that

What's with the attitude?

???! I don't have an attitude, I'm simply stating facts, answering your questions and letting you know I'm not wasting your time, if I couldn't or didnt want to see you I wouldn't dick you around, If I had a problem with youI'd either tell you or cut you off, you are asking stuff and I'm clarifying for you, you asked do I want to see you tonight, I said ok, so what's the problem? am I missing something here?

Of course he doesn't answer, nor adds anything else so later after I've had lunch I say: so what's the deal, coming tonight or not?

Um Fuck yeah! I'd be crazy not to

LOL O...kkk

I HATE Men, Hate even more rabidly men that eat pussy so fantastically well that they get to act like this, i hate strong silent types, I hate mumblers, men that can't communicate, obtuse motherfuckers and men that act slighted every fucking 5, and as awesome as he is in bed or in person this dude is SO it!

Then In the most weird/ridiculous/bizarre/ are you crazy? turn of events the following q&a commences

Do you Bike?

Umm what?

I havent in years i'm sure i'd remember once i got on it if it's true is like sex

Do you have one

No, hence not having done it in a long time, yes I suck

whatever a few go by and I ask: Are you off today, casually taking up a vice i don't know about? (only rational explanation)

No In west palm, you?

Eating, and definitely having a full day at work

Favorite color?

Purple or black, yours is blue?

Yes how did you know?

Your clothes

Like the beach?

Love the beach to death yes

I'm surprised that you don't like Pink as a woman? You rollerblade??

??!?!?! where is this fucking going?

No maybe pink for my electronics and Things like that, but to wear? or on my purple or black, I've never roller bladed but looks fun

Oh I think is a great exercise but not for my goofy ass do you like being outdoor doing things?

SO WHAT IS THE EVERLOVING POINT!?!?!?!?!??!

Are you 5'8?

Yeah, I'm not what you'd call short or dainty, no?... yeah if it's warm, and I have repellent, I'm always game for things even if they are not my cup of tea, I might fuss but I can do it and usually enjoy/take up to whatever

Cause i'm a hairless chihuahua of the people world, might shake and shiver but i won't really need lots of attention/love/extra comfort/babying/company etc etc etc

When do you get home?

5:30 or so

What about Dark Purple since you like black

Um, sure.. what is this?

I'm gonna be close to your area, I gotta ship something, ok?

OK...

GET A BIKE DAMMIT!?! LOL

Huh? Ok when I'm done paying bills, fool

Eventually he tells me that we need to go out to eat and all of that shit, we settle on sushi and thai and generally shoot the shit over the phone like nothing happened at all

We had an excellent dinner, he fed me sushi , stole some of my food (chiken Pad Thai) , we made jokes on the people there (Do you think he is "sex tonight" drunk or "Ass to Mouth" Drunk??.. shut up OM SHUT UP!!) and cuddle up... then he shows me on his phone how he was BIKE HUNTING FOR ME and that he called the bike shop after figuring my size and tried to see what kind of bike/terrain sort of thing I'd need... he was looking for a purple or black one


Altogether now : AWWWWWWWWWWWWW


Aw! Om where we getting me a bike? that is So sweet of you... then what?

Then we'd go ride, I got a new fancy bike and stuff, we could go to Oleta, unless you just want to ride it at the beach but we'd need to make sure on the type of bike blah balh balh

ah that's sweet

Me being Q ( is what Miss G says when she wants to refer to my poor commitment habits, say if I drop off the face of earth on a dude or avoid topics), I change the topic, we eat, more jokes and merriment ensues, we finished dinner, he helps me out of the booth and assgrabs me then he starts driving somewhere other than my house telling me: i know the way, woman!

Ok, god forbid! me not being the boss of you and all

Right on!



We talk xmas/valentines/commercialized holidays and church smack(neither one of us trust/likes it), he starts sassing me regarding our early text quasi-fight, he said I am the queen of Artic Chill and that I almost made him pull his balls out of his stomach as hard as he could see me growl, I countered every point, said furtherfuckingmore and settled that rubbing on his neck and pulling at his hair, which he claims he left long-ish for me (wha? I have a policy that i like need but I like pulling hair when engaged in um, certain activities more, so when guys are too militant about hair cutitng for no reason that DOES put a damper on things a bit!)and then i realize we are pulling into the Adult Store he opened the car door for me and helped me out, ...my kind of night!

We weren't into buying anything but he played with different whips/slappers/paddles on my butt, we made fun, nixed gagballs and cockrings cause they get in the way of the fun and are unnecessary, he didnt want cuffs for me cause he said my wrist were too little and he didn't want to hurt them, we also perused the clothing section and played around looking at the worst pron titles (What an asshole!), he called me a hussy cause I was looking at the fishnets for actual work purposes and I wasn't being faceticious, I told him not ALL models are good but some actually work!, of course he picks the worse pair ever and said: If you wear this to work, forget about it THAT is Devil Hussy!!!

Whatever dude I wouldn't go there... EVER

we also saw THE worst ass model packaging in the history of humanity, as such
what the fuck would this happen for?? how you gonna model anything with chichos, a longback and gut??? I have those, I KNOW better!!!! Sexy Booty Shorts?? is you serious?!?! No Just NO!

That was that, we went home, cuddled with spike, he turned on the vikings and someone else game and cause I can be counted upon to not know/remember/pay attention/lure him away he explained who we were rooting for (the Vikings..oh yea the Bears? that's the other team?) made it loud and hustled me to the bedroom for a pre-shower extra quick shennanigans thing um.... orrraalllllll

He went to shower then came back out and effectively handed me my ass, like reaallly really really really good, I mean he made me sit on his face and kept me there and (Why do I insist on trying to have asssex with Mondo sized men?? am I crazy?? No, is cause it feels good when done right and he does it ever-so-right.. sorry TMI), Interesting point was that My pills were in the condom drawer (what am I doing about those when I go?... I KNOW my mother), so when he went for them My pills were in plain view and he reeaaalllyyy looked at those and me back and forth for a long time, we almost went there but not really cause I'm all like ugh! Conversation needs be had.

Anywhoo we came back out after all sorts of Mother blushing shenanningans towards the beginning of the 4th quarter thingy, yeah, we LISTENED to most of the game tho!, no? and went back and forth between that and the grossest episode of Mythbusters with the ear wax candle *gag* (that was some funny shit, he got all red like he was ready to toss his cookies, I covered my face yet peeked through my fingers), we cuddled with a nice blanket, and spike on the couch, me on top of him, his all legs self all over.. anywhoo Shakira came on tv and he starts doing a weird ass shimmy shake that makes me cackle and tell him, he REALLY can't dance that stuff, his reply:

Oh Really, I was doing this move right here (Thrusting) with you a few minutes ago... I call it: The sodomizer

Bwahahahahhahahahahah *In-Fucking-Tears*

and this (shake side to side) I call the rimmer, and YOU love that!

Let me shut up

Yeah

Then to culminate this weird ass wtf date, Today we are texting and I plain old ask (under duress) wtf are we doing, am I assuming things?; he counters with what specifically do I mean? and that I don't need to assume stuff if I don't want, I reply (Now I'm fucking cringing) wtf was up with last night's attempt, is her trying to pull one over on me with bad sex faux pas manners and we should do the regular thing and let bygones be that or he wants something like exclusive um, sex

He replied with an: I'd like that


You'd Like what? OM you mofos (men) can be so extra confusing?

exclusive more frequent sex, with you

YEAH...I Know... WOW.... I have NO Issues with that so long as I get all the sex I need from him and, you know, his mealy mouthed ass starts talking, I like what he does A LOT so, that wouldn't suck... is it relationshippy? UGh! I don't know don't ask It was bad enough we had that convo, Will I try to just do him? um... Sure, why not? he was unendingly amusing last night, ashually

Ugh Don't ask me anything! I think we might completely go back on this come Jan. 3rd when I come back, I just know I like what his cack, mouth, hands and hairy chest doooo!!! don't judge me!

Happy Christmas A-holes!

LOL Not that bad but Binks is gone, I've been drinking A LOT and save for the Book and wish journal that Tai got me (they go hand in hand is awesome, I love her) , My bosses Money(for the trip and stuff) your fab cards, and Mia's awesome Too Faced set which also finally made me go get some makeup brushes (yeah I'm the queen of doing my shadows with Fingers and q-tips)

I got nothing else, Mind you there was a gift exchange and after it (which was awfully shitty) my mom took my glass tray switched me to the blanket i had already bought which then Binks told me she had promised her, I said fuck It, kept getting drunk and gave her the godawful blankie... a person with THAT POS as a husband needs/and deserves it more than me... that dude the more that time passes by the more I simply don't like him on the most basic of human levels, he simply has a talent for making her life more difficult than it needs to be, he is THAT horrible even when "he is being helpful" 2 days i can ignore him, so many days of whine, bitch on that high pitched voice whilst he says jokes that embarrass and anger my sister and does shit like whisper on his own kid's ear to hand mommy his peed underpants for his own laugh are just so much that I've had to walk out... I don't wish him on any woman let alone my sister

and My uncle got drunk.. like TANKED (before and after dinner) and my mom was just incredibly obnoxious about it the whole night... was he drunk? YES, has he ever driven a short distances Drunk? YES, Does she know that? did she have to act like a bitch all loud all night on and on about it? not hardly, it serves no purpose cause it won't stop him and it won't make us dislike him and won't make anyone like her more

additionally I have THE worst allergy from that hair dye... so you KNOW how much more I'm fucking loving it i've been having this weird rash (very hard to notice for strangers mom, sis and aunts freaked) on my chest/upper back and then weds it got really bad on my neck, so I'm taking Benadryl etc we were sitting there chatting until BAM! Binks says; MA ! based on when it started and where it's at... is where her hair goes... has to be that! .. So not only I get a half assed Makeover but Holla at a bitch if I don't also get an allergic contact dermatitis!

whatever


So Then I'm just gonna post the pics, give you some background but all that Bullshit set aside I had a good time i still have one more day of drinking before I feel I have to buckle down, since Binkie left and in her wake a butterball named her sister is left behind I neeeeeeddddd to get back to working out, fuck whatever you heard, My sanity, Clothes, cute man-starred shenanigans requires it to be so!.... speaking of clothes.. let's get one shall we??

My awesome dress

12 bucks all the stickers on covering everything that needed be covered



I got my sister to do something with tights and open toed shoes
(Yes Hannahbanana is in fact walking around barefoot)



Obligatory Me-N-Binks Shots



Tia Lusy with her brood




Mami Salty about the thing on her Lap



Us three (Fact: Binks has to take 4 pictures before she finds one with her eyes open)




Why these heffas wanted to damned near cry or choke me or try and convince me about how I need to have kids/be married/why don't I?/Do I hate kids (no)... It was like I killed kittens




The kids i've already sorta raised on the side


She wasn't even slightly drunk then... maybe later



Me and Tio Blanco



The ruling Majority




The anemic Minority



and My MVP of the Night, like.. i LOVE this kid to pieces and bits and it shows

Music snob is in LOVE with:

This week I got new and old (well not old but not-so-new that I've been obsessed with.. I'm including the older ones cause i have been speaking to other people and casually telling them how i must have heard these songs ad naseaum this week, anywhoo

Miike Snow: Indie pop, Swedish group, they've produced for a LOOOOT of people LOVE Love lOVE love love them, the whole cd was adorable, all of it and them remixing other people rule very hard as well, Just do yourself Download them to clean the house or for a sunny dayand much like Phoenix and Passion Pit (they are more dancey i'd say... Love em

Miike Snow- A Horse is Not a Home: *swooonn* I mean the title alone, the high pitch and the insistent beat?, let's not even talk about the Title ok?


Miike Snow- Sans Soleil: so cute/adorable love their voices, someone described them as A-ha meets Animal Collective (I've been listening to Merriweather Post Pavilion all weekend, that's such a whimsical awesome cd, too BTW!!), that sounds like a good description, the piano here is melty-good

Next: Dirty Projectors, which I had a few tracks from them til I heard This song earlier in the year, which then made me start hunting for all their stuff and reviewing it


Dirty Projectors- Stillness is the Move: Usually the boys sing but this was so cute/fun the girls not only singing but having that janky ass hammer pants jumpsuits synchronized dancing??? BWahahah(they make me think of Bat for Lashes but more upbeat) Love her voice though

For the older things I've been sick with this weekend I'd say

Portishead-The Rip: This was from their THIRD cd, didn't hear much props being given to this cd but i guess is cause it was a bit different to what people want from them, but I promise if you like them and give it a few listens it'll grow on you this song showcases Beth's beautiful voice, strong and weirdly fragile at the same time.. and the vid is a Pure Mindfuck

My Other weekend Fave not-so-new is from Bloc Party.. .listening to the one I posted the other day really made me go back and enjoy Silent Alarm and the remixed version so much this song is just ... *sigh*

Bloc Party- Like eating Glass: They are so So so criminally overlooked and underpraised (not in England but these kids should be bigger!) ... and their playing skills/voices are so so so so good, and Kele writes all their shit and then delivers it so RAW I love it when a band sounds that great live.. i want to see them live (that's another thing I want to try this year, to go see live music that I LIKE and find interesting .. sure I might either be the only darkie or unable to convince anyone to go Fangirl with me but I think I just HAVE to do this)

This post is sponsored By:

Avatar: WHAT A FUCKING FANTASTIC AMAZING MOVIE, In my 29 years of life I've never seen a movie do/be like that, I now understand fanboys more than I did before, i loved loved loved that Movie, it was fantastic and I had dreams with that shit last night, even my ultra religious enjoy nothing sister was teary eyed and shit...I want to watch it 2 more times

Glittery Nails:


Burritos of Misery (Please guess how many layers of clothing I have...please, take a guess)

yeah I turn up to work like a Hooker from the Future

...And the cheesyballs at my office

*this was COMPLETELY unplanned, and the ONLY reason why I have that sweater is cause I have the chicest red tights... you can tell I'm fucking embarrassed, this was just a few hours ago, it was the worst crossing the streets and such with these fools all extra giddy about our clothing choice... it looked on purpose when it SO wasnt, no one planned a thing! you cannot see that I'm Drunk as fuck and stuffed (how about I sent this pic to the boss just now and Former interner said we looked Gay as hell and embarrassing and my boss said his wife said my boobies looked huge, were they real?)


I know I'm behind but i'm experiencing BAD internetifications at home, hence no post from home, This weekend was busy also

**I did mami's keratin treatment re-up

**I flirted with delicious men the one with the naked penis and pretty muscles, OM, and something cute and delish as hell, we were having a date today but both our holiday seasons look a mess sooooo we are opting to have a quick meet up somewhere or to put things off til after the stupid holidays (also brushed off Blondie, who was being sweet but weirdly so, like trying to make me feel bad that he missed me or something .....and Baldie, who is a RABID pothead BTW... which disgusts me, and complained that I was not effectively swooning over him as much as I was over his huge boxer doggie GTFOH you got jealous off a doggie)

I did my nails and Mami's and Hannabanana's

I got annoyed as fuck at the hairchange from hell: I tell Binks I want a fun (FUN) new look , she says I've never done reds (I Agree), she says she wants to do it (I tell her OK but pick something Bright and ME don't pick some lame shit muted color ya'll would use, cause I'm NOT you guyses)

how about THIS is my new fucking color???

I cannot tell you how shitpissed I fucking was I was so so so so so so so mad that the always are fucking hellbent on making me conform to what they want me to look like and then I was mad at myself for even entrusting her with my hair when I usually just do cut and color my own shit, for obvious reasons (mami also favors blowdrying and parting my hair a certain way and forcing it into a weirdly creepy flip)

....her saving grace and the reason why we still talking?... It looks like this when the sun hits it...

so I'm toned down a few notches from my initial "I want to fucking kill you for making me waste my time and a makeover", next time I'm doing blue black with blue highlights Like I wanted or a REAL red that you can fucking see (I Love how you can still see I'm sour as hell in the pic now we call it "Whine Colored hair")


Also Another reason why we are talking is: She made me spend 180 bucks worth of clothes in these little thrift stores and it was fantastic, she handpicked it all I sat there playing with my phone and the kids and she did all the work, I got a shitload of new shirts, work dresses, skirts, 3 pairs of nine west shoes with the sole still pristine (never used, stickers still on, this is one of them)
and my dress for Nochebuena which is S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G and My aunts are gonna want to kill me for, I'll make sure to take lots of pics with it since I also intend to squeeze the shit outta that investment, is THAT amazing, Gunmetal Grey is the only hint I'm giving at the moment, is BEAUTIFUL and all the boys are getting pics of same!


what else??? ah Binky leaves the 25... I'm gonna miss my babies and her of course, but also her douchy husband is easier to ignore as time goes by, is great!, anywhoo, yeah she is leaving and OM got told to sharpen his tools for that very day to help me preserve my sanity, he is going to comply


Little Boots- New in town: I love this, I could dance to this with Eva and Lua and some of the younger girls (we have a CRAPLOAD of people for our graden Party Nochebuena at my aunt's)

BUt In reality we grown and disasterous people are gonna be dancing to

Richie Cepeda- Ay Doctor: He is a personal friend of these fools so they stay trying to invite him over, maybe he does make it this year or some shit


Me Personally I favor salsa

Victor Manuelle- He tratado


and more gutter shit like this

Arcangel- Pa que la Pases Bien: *sigh* good Gawd I'm feeling dirty by virtue of assshaking to this

Mermen, Xmas Town Sweetness, and as per Gem, New Goals

IT' WAS SOOOOOO AWESOME, can you see?!?! , more importantly can you fucking believe???

So there is that loopy video but since it wouldn't let me do it here I had to youtube that mess hence the shitty quality. anywhoo

Then Gemminimal asked me about my plans now that I'm a Citizen, and truly honestly besides continuing to be the loudest most brash Spickazoid Monster you know these are my Not so lofty plans


* Go see my dad: That almost has to be my first trip since I only stayed put for that bullshit ass time continuity thing, I want to see my half sisters, my friends and make him cook for me yummy stuff

* Go see my aunt: She is in Holland She BEGGED me again Last weekend to come see her and let her hook me up (I need money for that)

* Go on Cruises and a variety of trips( I'll probably have to spend whatever money I make paying my cards only to use them again) : My destinations in order of priority are: Islands with sun, beaches, semi naked cabana Boys and drinks, Italy, Paris again (I adored that place), Czech Republic, Australia, Greece, Spain (I have a lovely aunt there), Germany again, MAYYYYBBEE D.R (I don't want to go somewhere where I'll have Obligatory stops and pick ups and deliveries with people I might not like i.e: Family)

* Get A Gringa Passport: this will be great for easy traveling But for traveling back home is on my best interest to keep my Venezuelan one, so I gotta see how I can maintain it, since you are technically renouncing your citizenship when you take the oath

* Vote in every mothafucking election there will ever ever be in this mothafucking place (and in turn SHAME my family out of ever being too comfortable with their peace and quiet that they might EVER consider voting for a Repube ANYTHING no matter what... As a Black, Hispanic, Woman NOT rich with reproductive organs It'd be treasonous and disgusting to ever even consider the fucking thought)

*Register so I can be a Juror and shit!: I'd be excused with all my luck even though I work accross the street from the courthouse

Other things Like finishing the paralegal shit, improve my home (I'll show you my ideas in painting when I get it together, OM asked about that last night) /body/saving some should also in the works this year just cause is important stuff I've been wanting to do but One Thing you won't see at the tippy top of my list is the "get a man " thing, no matter how much mami pesters me about it, cause I am having fun and loving my shit as is, sure if something great and fab comes along and it suits me the OOOHH how great but there are non negotioables to me and I think kids and marriage are it: I explained to Karrie the other day when we were talking about how she prefers OM for me (and sure he'd be delicious, but um, we have communication and interpersonal Issues, for example) . My Thing is: in some aspects I might make a good attractive-ish maybe package (no kids a home, a car, sexual, not too naggy , or religious, or prudish, with a brain, not totally insane, not asking for hand outs) but here is the thing:

I Dont want kids

I Don't Necessarily want to be married (a shack up maybe, but blehgh!)

I Don't want "joint property": In fact in my sick mind it'd be great to partially live together (everyone with their own place) or sell my shit rent somewhere and travel

Sure there are great advantages to having a dude (cuddles when you want them, someone to cook for if you like that, SEX ON DEMAND!, company, activity partner) but to be honest, I haven't needed one (shut up ok, many) except for sex the past however many years, I'm used to being alone and ok with it, on top of that having so few REAL objective and goals in a "relationship" (sex constantly) makes it so that I really don't make any concerted effort on pushing for/trying to deal with/following up with a guy.... and men are not middle grounders on this either they want that shit in the near or far future with the Wife that looks "just so" or they are caddish assholes who need none of the attachments, hence me dealing with those and disposing of them soon as they show their ass too much... I guess it works both ways, cause those "other extreme guys" reaaaaalllllyy get bothered when I say I am not trying to have a kid or 2 or whatever..... that might be bad on my part but is honest, I mean I have options, I love to exercise them and I have zero issues with unnatached sex/one night stands etc, I know this frustrates people ( from my mom, to dude, to my friends who'd love nothing more than to see me paired off, to sanctimonious assholes and prudish girls) a lot but wtf am i supposed to do???!, if someone doesn't knock my socks off and I don't feel all snuggly, or crazy about them or ready to unpack my bags or let my defenses down (and for me THAT comes way way way before I ALLOW my feelings valve to be opened up... what? I work in neat little compartments) or in need of prodding or putting up with shitty characteristics in a man or justifying or explaining myself and who or how I am then... why and what for? I enjoy sex and dating and even the occassional sleepover just fine, I just don't feel any need of bringing up certain strategies or conversations even WHEN I like the guy enough to stand being around him after sex.

A good example of this Is how I don't mind OM (or even Blondie) sleeping over, or how I adore how he is with spike or how after sex we can shower and cuddle up to watch Discovery channel... But I don't feel like I have to ask him to "spend the night" or "when do I see you again", or " how are you feeling about me" or "do you think I'm cute", "what do you want with me" (um the man forces me to sit there in the locked position while he eats my pussy and massages me, after or before that he asks me to dinner, sometimes he stays the night, he pets my dog and walks him when I want to sit there watching tv, I get the fucking Idea)... and there is the part where I loathe that type of conversations or forcing myself into OK we are labeling this shit x,y or z and also I find that weird, misleading sometimes and whatever is like having a conversation so you get told what you want to hear?!... BUt eh! I'm weird I know, and a LOT antisocial and a loner so who knows maybe is just that *shrugs*




Bloc Party- Pioneers: I Adore well placed guitars and this cute ass video and Kele Okereke's big gay self with that awesome whinny voice


EXXXCCUUSSSEEEE MMMEEEE
: I don't know how i forgot this fucking thing but here

Them Crooked Vultures- New Fang: Hellooo!!!! Queen's Of the Stone Age's Josh Homme (Panties on the floor), Led Zeppelin' s John Paul Jones on Guitar (Fuck Yeah) and Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl Molesting the drums (swoonnnn) are you fucking kidding me?!?


Them Crooked Vultures- Elephants

My last few months have just roundly turned around/ awesome Xmas party/ Awesome events... I can't ever behave: awesome inbox stuff

OOOOHH I know I know I'm late, But do I have ever so much to lollygag about, I spent the weekend sickish, But also things are sooo awesomely for moi


ALSO update your browser cause J is awesome: http://www.qucifer.net/


HEH!

anyways: for starters

*Boss gave me a fucking awesome bonus, we are talking 800 bucks...it takes a LOT of pressure off of me for my bills and so I could stop worrying about shit, that dude is a mess but also a blessing, he asked me to go watch a movie on xmas with his wife I think I might cause I'm always saying no

*J got me that domain name :)

*A lady at work got me a mondo bottle of Raspberry vodka so I guess I'm buying my strawberry sorbet for shenanigans

*then Saturday i went to THE most awesome effing xmas party/anniversary celebration evaaarrrr : I first didn't want to go cause I wasn't feeling supper well BUT I'm so happy I did...

My friends looked happy, They were the host, I danced a LOT Men Line danced and western danced together, I ate like a pig, I was called a Fabulous Faghag queen, I wasn't the only woman there, but I was the most fawned over, my titties were out, my heels were locked and loaded, a man had a kilt, other men had shinny shimmery shirts, matching see through things, matching western embroidered shirts, the bartender was cute
They are newly married after 16 years together as well, I was their dancing partner (and lots of random delish, fab men) there was jealousy and commentary on men being fat being called : "a rather Big Girl"

Then there was this shit

A Wall to motherfucking wall xmas town... they have taken since October to do it, more details

again wall to wall everything moved, sang, was animated, had fountains with actual water, moving parts, etc etc etc
I'm trying to upload the video so you can see it in action cause my aunt about died and apparently mags have been asking to photograph the place, and they dont care for it... It was really fantastic so then was


The xmas tree...I'm not the christmasiest bitch as you know but this???!?! warmed my heart and made me happy!
Mermen!

NAY! YMCA style Mermen!



There were Oh-So Many!!

I'm going to try for that video from work so check back


and OMG yesterday I GOT MY FUCKING CITIZENSHIP!!!!!


Yes
yes I did!..... The whole interview was 15 minutes, dude flirted with me the whole time, my questions were Date like questions and why am i single and what did I liked better: salsa or merengue and then he called me a bella Mulata and THEN he asked me who the speaker of the house was and then he signed me a waiver for my lost residency card


That Was It!!! Fucking sick, he also agreed with me I shouldnt had been denied previously!, of course, 11 years, over 3000 bucks, shit is over! but it infuriated me that is so luck of the draw, you know... previously i get two rancid Miami jealous Cuban Oxygenated Bitches and I had better English than them, rather than ask me questions they decide to nitpick my application found a loophole and decided to go on that, this guy KNOWS and gets told that i do NOT have my residency card and he approves my application AND berates me for NOT getting approved sooner


ALSO: I need to watch this movie:



And then also why do i try to be good about boys???? well, see, I've been obviously getting dealt good shit By Oralmaster but you know I have to disappear for a little .. family, you know?

well yesterday he gave me a blow by blow texted strip tease... bless his heart!

Blondie's Birthday was this weekend and I deleted him from FB case i think that shit is fuckery, and it gives me way too much info on him that i never wanted to have, but yeah since i didn't wish him a public happy bday like everyone, he got at me Sunday, I replied Oh Happy Bday on Monday, we talked for a while and he gave me some funny line about thinking about me.. I said when? in the whole debauchery of your birthday????... like.... why would he act like saying something so extra for no pay off?

So last night he calls me at 1:00 am to tell me he's been partying since Thursday night every night and how he's got all these awesome hotel rooms, Mind you I'm long asleep so i go...um so what are you doing?? he is like Oh I'm in the blah blha blha hotel... just wishing you were here Baby...


Um ... Ok



Seeing OM tomorrow though probably


anndD Then this Yummyness
has been at me for the whole past week so finally we agree to a quick meet today after work...


and it was awesome... I had a sick goodbye kiss since he had to go to a training session and stuff (plus we wanted a timed thing) then AFTER he gave a personal training class he called me right back to say that since he couldn't stop thinking about the bye-kiss we should watch a movie later.... as in in 15 minutes

I should get ready.. sick sick body, great smile, from Boston, so cute, dimples... yum yum yum


My greedy little self is LU-CKY!




and then I go two days without checking my email and THis shit appears (seriously NSFW scroll fast or click the red x








I'ma Give you ONE more warning



















































No wait there is more






Info: from Nevada, sessy but I don't know why he was talking to me, he said he travels a lot and would like to have me keep him in mind... Uh.. ok daddy








I warned you don't come at me


Byyyyyeeeee, date Time!

*Oh I also went to Jail today and Performed a fucking wedding ceremony on an inmate... so fucking depressing

Plot Thickening antics whilst Ronnie Spectoring on you Heauxs

HI Chilaquiles!

Work is Ultra slow now so I might as well Update you on whatever is happening

*My boss is being ever so extra this month cause he gets to dole up my Xmas bonus so he is making me work for it and put up with his salty saucy mouth: I've been snappy right back to him, cause if you want me to go marry people in Jail, you GONNA hear my mouth on it

* This Nutfuck little bit of a hatchet face Krazy Khristian lady that sits back here is driving me INSANE, she NEVER ceases to dole out self righteous advice to all the fucking community, I'm talking about loud sanctimonious: The hand of God Touched me Bullshit for HOURS in one call then goes on to call the other person, gossip about her church the other church how her worldy friends Blah blah blah this is all done in Spanish, non fucking stop All fucking shitty day, some days I never take off my headphones some days I'm just shaking my head in disgust... UGH!

* This Saturday I'm going to the 20 year anniversary of one of my Gay Couriers and his man, is 2 couples whose other halves I don't know but I'm hard pressed to go sick or not cause they always invite me to things and I end up with plans and One of my dudes is Cuban, the other one P.R their partners gringos but apparently they know me in fabulosity as I'm very talked about and they are dying to meet my FagHag Extraordinaire self... I can't wait, I've been made to promise Salsa dances: Life Giving

*Oh Yeah I'm still sick, I've been complaining to mami about a wicked earache and neck/jaw pain and shit and she as always is ever so dismissive like I'm making up stuff (only it always turns out she freaks out more cause I was indeed Minimizing shit: See Boob mass, lymph node issues, Canker sore galores, palpitations, etc etc etc) this is in spite of the fact she had to come feed me soup Sunday Night cause i was just not getting up the whole day. Well she looked at my ears finally yesterday and checked the side of my jaw/under ear neck that I told her was hurting and turns out I'm well on my way to a Sinus Infection, and then for good measure (cause she is perverse) she actually Tapped me HARD as fuck in the forehead and left cheekbone I say AWWW she says " Oh Yeah, should hurt", so I'm Taking antibiotics but I'm holding off on starting with those off the bat trying ibuprofen and natural shit to drain things a bit... I NEED to be better soon cause going to a butt cold place with a cold related infection is NOT the business

* I don't care if I'm sick, I Am VERY fabulostic today cause My boss and every dude in this office approved, so did the girls and the gays, my boss being my boss (and our kindred music spirit in some ways) he actually said: What are you singing with the Vendelas today, I said: NO asshole, The Ronnetes!


Yep Is a side ponytail/poof, Heavy mascara light lips tits out Office look... *schnarf* see how many things I crammed in there?? I think that's my style problem, that I never latch on to anything and is a bit schizo all over the map, I mean my family seems to think that is more uniform though cause I asked by survey last night and all the ladies said is been close to the body, boobs, and heels and legs from about 15 or so, they do say that usually I do cover something and is not TOO skank cause I make sure my skirts reach my middle fingers and is not always super extra out, and for the records, yep, 80s this morning so of course it was a short skirt barely any sleeves day, of course I was wearing some slutty patent red heel, Of course I feel bad for you Lambs anywhere more northernish that here, bless you with the cold

* Binky gets back Saturday I believe, she went to Orlando with the kids all week, I have her til Xmas eve which is what we celebrate

ah And those Plot Thickening Antics?? ALL Courtesy of Mr. OM: Look SRLY if I knew before it'd be easy to tell two dues" Look this is the other dude, keep you r place or do better or feel free to walk out" and that I'd be able to have em be kosher with it, I might have done it sooner more overtly, see, not that I've lied before but I've been oblique about answering questions, but this works even better, I mean Blondie knows , OM knows, only difference is : OM is more like me, he has a jealous streak, hates sharing is sarcastic and is not at all necessarily enthralled with the notion hence his issues with this, whereas Blondie thinks he will snatch me out of someone's hands on sheer charm, and manwhoriness (not)

Anyways: OM and I have been having some pretty awesome opne convos as exemplified by the lastone in which we DEFINITELY agreed to keeping him around and possible swingers club excursion, well, Monday he hit me up asking if I wanted him, I said sure but Tuesday to be exact (nothing special I was just sickly feeling, more obviously so Monday) this devolved into him asking if my "Miami Boy" was around I told him to quit bitching and watch himself, that it wasn't the case at all, in fact I turned on the Webcam so we could see, this convo went deep into some stuff such as "why aren't I marrying him, since he rocked my socks so hard" I then asked how many times he's sat there reading that shit and why is he so extra about it, and why search for it again To quote it to me (and trust he HAD to had gone looking for it) he asked if it was a Lie i told him that It wasn't casue Blondie IS nice but it also is not a lie that he is in fact top 5 if not top 3 material (and you KNOW I've been around a few street blocks of a few flavors! so for me to say that is something) and certainly the person closest in match to my true sexual self so I don't get his hysterics about this, in fact I explained the already pretty obvious circumstances without gory details, meaning me and Blondie were together openly on each other's shit having fun in the computer and he asked me to say something nice and honest while he did the same, and that it wasn't a big deal since for all I knew I was simply helping him get more girls (you know our natural bitchy competitive inclinations) his response:

"Look It just hurts my ego that I wouldn't be able if i was trying to replicate what we do with someone else but you can go get "good stuff" from someone else and be that satified... do me a favor, keep me around and yeah yeah I know you will sleep with whomever you want to but don't let me know about it or see it"

AAAWWWWW that sort of took me aback cause he is NOT that expressive one on one and is rather gruff (not cold though he is a cuddle monster) but that and his comment on whatever I wore last time he came to see me sorta just made me do double take. I agreed that I wouldn't LOVE to know or visualize hiom with someone else cause I'm petty but I also make the conscious choice of not getting superattached or checking on his shit constantly, in fact I avoid it like the plague, but I also told him that if I was going to keep his quality in, say more quantity then I'd have no problems closing that search out... He said to close it cause it was for me whenever I wanted it! I told him to relax cause i do brag to my ladies about his skillz, since they are sick good and i've never encountered anything like it OOOOOHHHHH

We moved a bit away from the heavier talks and went into some things we wanted, types we like etc etc etc and the he sent me a very delicious shot for before I went to bed (YUM!) anyways the next day, he flipped a switch or something cause this very private dude decided just chill as you please to just tell me to come meet his place?!?!

HIs very extremely meticulously cleaned showroom looking ultra plush and comfy manly apartment, so much so that he was In the shower when I walked in and he told me to explore if I liked... completely almost too perfect, his guitars and piano in the bedroom, not a hair out of place in almost an unsettling way and all of 3 pictures of the family he doesnt talk to (grandparents, and one of his brothers... handsome dudes).... It was one of those places that felt like a hotel and compromises my own cleaning practices

He came out the shower kissed me and plopped next to me to finish some work he had to submit (initally he wanted me to wait and have dinner with him, but he also had to do work and submit it before a certain time so I told him to grab our own foods and do his work and I'd wait him out) So there we were cuddled up on his soft sectional laughing at the tv while he leaned on me finishing his reports and showing me some equipment he worked on that day, when he was done though??? Domesticity Out of the window, He peeled my dressed off and pulled a towel from i don't know where and got down to serious business, all things said, we probably did it in every table and surface in his very pristine apartment! 2 hours of hot messing around and just when I though he was done, he wouldn't be! we are talking about bathroom, couches, counters high stools you name it! Awesome, he also had music and candles in his room (Ummm) and the softest bed ever, like with suede and stuff! Yummy Yummy Yummy when we FINALLY freaking stopped he asked if I wanted to stay or I needed my puppy for that, I obviously said the latter plus what? would I shame walk to work with no bras panties and a sundress the next day?? Nope!

when i'm getting ready to get up he gets up and shows me this picture with 3 cute kids, and who i assume to be his mom and dad, he is in the middle 3 or 4 blond tyke, tells me: "That is My first photo, when I was officially adopted and brought home"

OH wow.... all the sudden (I had discussed with Tai that his shitfits seemed to me strangely rooted in insecurity, I say starnge cause he is worldy, makes good money, has no kids, no wife, is adorable, tall hot, INCREDIBLE, I don't mean good, I mean INCREDIBLE in the sack) the whole attitude, and closed off ness made sense and well as the slow way he has been opening up and stuff, I should know how to handle him better now (my ex husband the one with the shitty family, David, was adopted as well, had now that I look at it some of them "wall issues", the "no desire for family time", with a difficult family), makes me want to baby him a little but not condescendingly, more like make him a dinner and be, a bit nicer about my escapades, so as to not fuck with his mind..... after I left his place he texted me and then the next day as well, he prods to know if he is doing everything i need him to do and since he sorta got me in bed asking if that was "his pussy and would I stop giving his stuff away" ...whle giving head with ice cold lips.. it was hour two! that was awesomeness then I sort of also felt like prodding (you know I hate directly bugging dudes about this type of shit)

"are you trying to be the only one sleeping with me" (fair question after cooler heads are in place)

his response was something about like: I don't want to know if I'm not

I told him he made it sound worse than it actually was etc, but I dropped it, we kept talking and so forth through the day and then at night he i.med me as soon as I came home and chilled with spike, he asked to see my cam cause we were talking about spike and what he was doing and I told him to just nknow I wasn't presentable or anything, he said neither was he LOL

So I asked if he was watching good porn and his response was, yup, YOU and that Pink Bra!

Hehe! One thing led to another and he then asks very seriously "would I consider getting on the pill" I told him I was but between the economic and cost effectiveness as well as Mami's request that I took a year off (which I have) of it I was ready to jump back in soon ( also PlannedParenthood, no fuss approach is now back open for busines!) he said that he asked cause he wanted to like exchange tests, info and , sorta go at it, but not in a way that would put me at any risks so then the pills and tests exchange and that this would Obviously imply that he was the only one with me and viceversa

THAT sort of got me sitting back wondering wtf he wants?? exclusivity from me to him?? is it reciprocal?? what? whaaatt?? Do I mind if things went that way? (Not really I think he is excellent in bed and I also like our dinners and sarcasm ladden tv ovbservations, I just really NEED a lot of sex so it best be provided). I just hate that I'm not the type to bring myself to outright ask and play that hand UGH!

But yeah we ended saying that and that he comes over tonight, apparently I'm to try my Dominant side, I warned that I'm a good little Sub, so I'm NOT sure how that would exactly work, he said we should try.... I guess I can pull my all black garments, whip in hand and see what happens? shit Maybe I should keep the hair and makeup from today or do some red lips?? interesting stuff indeed


Martha Reeves and the Vandelas- Nowhere to Run: Sang It baby!


The Crystals- Then he kissed me: Ahh Look phil Spector is a kook and a killer BUT the wall of sound era he was producing??? *MMMUUUAAAHHH** sweet delicious music gems!, further proof, my morning inspiration, AKA his wife for a bit and the other half of one of the first interracial couples in America when it wasn't Ok to be doing that...

Miss Ronnie Spector and the Ronnettes- Be my Baby


and his best work

Ike and Tina Turner's River Deep Mountain High: Yup he arranged and produced this, For the Record This is the Tina I'm more a fan of than the 80s Tina, I looovve " a fool in Love" and all that shit, sad that it wasn't exactly a happy time for babygirl, list to this: Spector was well aware of Ike Turner's controlling attitude in the studio (he Should know seeing as how he practically imprisoned Ronnie His damned self) , and resultantly drew up an unusual contract: the River Deep - Mountain High album and single would be credited to "Ike & Tina Turner", but Ike was not allowed in the studio, and only Tina Turner's vocals would be used on record, The track was recorded using Spector's "Wall of Sound" production technique, and cost a then-unheard of USD 22,000, and required two dozen session musicians and background vocalists.

Sorry I am behind...and sick

.....and watching Bad Education


woooww what a great movie! But I have the softest of spots for Almodovar


But yeah I am going to try and make it short and sweet cause I feel like shit (Utter utter shit so much so my boss asked me to leave work early, and gave me a shitload of vitamins), you know who I blame for it though??

Them Cute ass kids called my niece and nephew, that's who!!

they come here, get here, get and get hard tummies, and then come to me with their grubby little hands and their snotty faces






I could eat that king all by myself



Anyways so yeah my face feels gross I need to get over this SOON cause I am getting ready and excited for my trip!


I want my X-mas Bonus



But for quick salacious gossip for you I have that:

Blondie spent all day here today rubbing my back making out and cuddling up, but is also what he did Monday night (yup)

I know, my cold-er approach is working to be honest! So I let him be when we don't need each other, and yet today when I was stressing about money and other shit and he just came at 6 am (after talking like at 2 am) and made things yummy for me, at 1 we ate a pizza massaged our feetsies and crashed again in bed after running some errands

This past monday while I was waiting for Blondie to show up Oralmaster made good points with me he just chatted me up I stalled out til the next day but between one thing and the other we had a very frank and honest discussion about how we are liking each other and what we wanted ad not wanted in an fb, we talked about Blondie, he said he LOVED what we got going as far as chemistry and openness goes, we decided for shits and giggles we might go to a swingers club but just to look and get our engines going, no full swap cause he is a jealous as I am, and we are also a pair of sarcastic assholes and it was at my suggestion that we are going but at his request that we look and go home and still keep it closed, even though he knows Blondie is currently in the picture!

Perfect NON??? now they both know about each other and aren't giving me shit about it and are sweet as ever! and proof is that after we had all that convo and stuff the next day he came, relaxed with me for a while, played with spike and gave me a nice little segue to the being tied up business... Really Filthy Delicious stuff, we definitely are set on a repeat of THAT, no blindfold+full true life turd burglarization for me: AWE-SOME!

And a Fellow Venezuelan asked me for a date

Fellow Vennie looks pretty divine, i will have a hard hard time saying no to someone that looks like so


and asks what is my favorite book/author and why? (his : Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand *swooonnnn*)... but we are still talking, lets see if/how he plays himself... anyways I'm ok with Blondie and om doing their stuff for now, and truth be told after the illuminating, open time/convos I've been having with OM That would be the one that I'd feel bad to see go, Blondie, being the player that he is, is less of a draw and a want for me if I'm real with it

Anyways this was a short update (mami isn't bugging me too much cause Binks is here but this week she is up in orlando, so I foresee more harassment coming my way, anyways Toodles I'm going to drink tea and watch this


Eraserhead



BWWAHAhahAhah I Fucking had to come back to add this i fucking died Laughing

Fucking Rihanna and shy Ronnie