I will scrub the floors with you ... and then have a Lunch Special

I Come to you with a Heavy Heart... well, Not really, more like a Hedonistic head on my shoulders.... Actually an Update which you KNEW was coming, and FILTHY pics for no damned reason


SO You know G. I Joe calling, from every known number??

so Last night he calls but the I get a Text and the ensuing mess happened:


G.I Joe: What's Up baby where have you been?

Me: Why are you still texting me Buddy? I thought Last we spoke you had a girl and called me from a Bathroom? and I told you I don't touch that at all

G: Um NO?? Girl what is up?, Come over I'll leave the door open! (we used to do this thing, he'd text I'd show up LATE at night when he is catnaping and BAM!) You KNOW where I live come on let's have fun Baby

Me: I Am in bed, it's 1: 35 am, and I'm quoting you on this: I'm with my girl at dinner, then I told you : Um I'm NOT touching that shit, I'm not cool with that. This is still true whether you are yummy or not

G: Come over Sexy I gotta get up early, I'll wake you up the way you like (head)

Me: You are Not reading properly? I'm en bed already , is now 1: 44 you have a gf and possibly more than enough ass to go after... go for it homey!

Calls, I don't pick up

G.I Joe: Q Is Meee do you know who you're talking to?? we met Such a long time ago, you made me wait forever before talking to me again, I told you I didn't have a gf cause it's truem, please come over, I want to make you come, I want to go down on you, come over baby!?!

Holy Guacamole

Me: Look I KNOW who I'm talking to, Biblically even, Same Cute asshole I had a 3some with and who calls me non stop during my lunch hours and horny in the early am, AKA YOU, something about wanting to cum to the sound of my voice amd let me see if I recall that Bathroom call/text went something like call me and tell me you are going to fuck a guy bigger than me?

Scorched Earth Game Proper ^^^ I didn't even feel like being in his good side for shit, truth be told

Me: And again i'm in bed, you should do the same

G. I Joe: WTF??!! Q That HAS to be my cousin calling you! he does have a girl I Promise you I don't Honey! come on over let's spoon let me give you a massage? Dude I WAS sleepy, I'm up now please call me we need top talk

Me: Dude You are such a little shitbag, you've called me from his number, before remember?? as well as your phone and blocked numbers//? repeatedly?

G.I Joe: Q I swear this is news to me, I know I sometimes bug you a bit but I would never block my number from you, shit I HAVE called you from his phone when Mine has been fucked up, I think this is why he is calling, shit I think he might have even seen a picture of you and he knows about the stuff we did, THIS IS NOT even my cousin that lives with me the one you met I swear on my mom!

Me: Ok right whatever night night

G: Look Don't ever answer the blocked number or my cousin's sweetie, only if I call you, I want to meet you like REALLY soon, I miss you like crazy Morenita

Ugh, Morenita (This is my resolve giving my twat the side eye) THEN we get these And I WARN YOU either scroll down to number two QUICKLY or be alone or without someone around
...

..........

........


.........


I WARNED YOU Bitches !! That's not even full Mast Jesus be a Mantle! (In your mind, do you see Weezy getting out the car and taking a backseat in the back end of the Van?)


SOOOO then This morning


G.I Joe: Hey sexy

Me: What?

G.I Joe: Driving around, had a talk with my cousin this morning.. he is acting flaky, what are you doing?

Me: Good for you

G.I Joe: We should meet up, to talk, you know?

Me: SO You are REALLY going to tell me that the last time we spoke you didn't call me whispering some BS from a bathroom about being on a date and some such bullshit? beggin me to send you some pictures from one of the many numbers you be calling from? talking about how yeah you have a girl but I love this little shit and what not?? wanting to see me with a big Black dude in bed and shit?... I mean one of Us has to be the crazy bitch, but fuck that's outlandish!, i mean fuck at least be honest

G. I Joe: Q Not Only is the black dude thing embarrassing but I swear on my family that this has to have been my cousin, think about it, he already had your number, is my fault I know but It wasn't me

Me: Ok sure, you are a trip

I am so stank too!

G.I. Joe: Well can we start over so that there is no confusion?

Me: Sure whatever gets your nuts hard

G. I Joe: Hi Q is K___, How are you beautiful?

Me: Lol Whatever dude, HI

G.I Joe: Can I take you out to lunch, when you have a break

Me: *tummy growling* where?

G.I Joe: Wherever is close to you? Mexican place on 3rd av?

Me: Fine

G.I Joe: See you around, let's get re acquainted 12:30 see you there!

Me: Fine

I tell this to Mia who at this juncture throws her hands up to say:


Lawd have mercy, you have totally lost it. Not in a bad way, just a
hedonistic way... you are all about the pleasure and I am all about
you....freaking Weezy is a gateway drug... cause now you have Shorty and now GI
Joe... it's a slippery facking slope, mi amiga. Enjoy the ride!!!

I don't even disagree cause it's always that way And It's always that way too when I do give up and go for the Weezielator then they all starts coming at me, and we know I basically I'm unable to say No to dick... a Personal FAIL/ VIRTUE of mine

SOOO we see each other and damn if he doesn't look delectable but the place is RIDDLED with Hot men and also Remember I'm giving him a Live side eye, he smirked and we ordered something light, he starts asking me about life and where I've been and how come I look so beautiful

At that Point I pulled out my phone records with both texts and call highlighted for his viewing pleasure, I also told him to quit acting a moron if this was him, Yes, yes I did! but I couldn't detect a trace of anything other than shock, after he asked me if I was seeing anyone and getting my Little Boy STOP the bullshit , As if I'm going to discuss that with you, then he said he missed me and showed me a picture of his new dog, which was extremely adorable, told me he wanted to move to this area (where I work) and rubbed my hand then just said cool and fresh as you please:

I've not just missed you, I Missed your Pussy

Oooo-KKKKKKK

I lost it and almost choked on my food laughing at this dumb ass, he kept asking all types of shit and swearing at me up and down about the gf thing , he goes, LOOK AT ME and besides the obvious, which BTW you looks stunning today I like your hair, why would I be pursuing you if I had a gf

"Um You could be clinically insane or just EXTREMELY Horny"

You Know I'm not, give me a chance to fulfill those needs and you will see how nice and well behaved I am, let's meet up soon and cuddle up Stinkie, I haven't been with you in such a long time

Ugh I HATE that you even think it's appropriate to call me that

We finish eating, we go outside and he berates me about cleaning my car but gives me a nice little kiss in the corner of my mouth then asks if he can get in the car so I drive him to his across the street, I open the door, and tell him to lead the way, he does and we pull in the building behind the restaurant, only for this hot butt to say:

What I really wanted was a kiss, a nice long kiss from you


And that's how we were making out in BROAD daylight... before he grabbed my neck nibbled on it and , um STARTED GOING DOWN ON ME... I don't even have tints people!... It was BROAD DAYLIGHT my knee was jerking so damned hard that I keep shutting the radio and turning it back up, HIGHlarity! Whose Life is This? MANNNNN He was all like get on top of me, I'm like Kid stop I gotta go to work.... I took all types of making out pleading to make it stop and by then he had taken the boyshorts off and was trying to get to my butt

Lord!

I got him back to his car, refreshed myself in the car (Thanks God for my Whore Bag) before walking back to the office conspicuously happy, chill and sweet to my Boss, who keeps asking if I took happy pills

So after that mess he texts:

It was so nice to see you

Same here

Look Let's see each other on a regular Basis, ok? we turn each other on and we know what we like!

Let's do provided you are not Bipolar

Silly girl, I'm not I promise you

Ok we'll see Don't ever call me during work hour, you turd( I always tell Mia though that any chance to get consistent not 20-30 mins away ass that is NOT Weezy and is miles nicer than him, I'm always inclined to take)

*an Hour Later*

And I REALLY gotta say, you were looking delicious...

Yes, yes I was


The Notwist- Pick up the phone... this whole cd is awesome