Only me, of course

And I say this with complete confidence that the type of sordid little bullshit I get into is just a "me" thing, LOL Like I refuse to keep my nose clean: let's give you a little breakdown

The weekend was chill and awesome: I went to the beach very very early (you'll see what a difference a day makes)


and Pearl go there late and I had enough me chill out decompress get in the water time and then when she did turn up I told her when I was going to be leaving and that there was a Douchebag Talk Ban so to not tell me about that demoralizing asswipe she is still dealing with, I told you I don't suffer foolishness gladly!

After that and a nice wistful walk by the nude side (I REALLY don't like company, and Pearl REALLY does sit there acting like she doesn't have a twat or has seen ugly cock before, is like stop hollering and rolling your eyes and invoking the lord, fucking get with the program and relax or get out) I headed home, ignored a call from my mom but heard from my aunt that they were in the Keys WHOOO HOO no forced visitation time!

I bought food and made myself some yummy food, also discovered my fave lipstick for tanned days, look
Looks superdark and initially is like a purple-ish thing, right, but look!
Awesome no?? several reasons for the close up (My hair was puppy dog wet which I only ABHOR) also I was trying to explain this fade to brown- caramel thing it does, is from Clinique, called Black Honey

Then Sunday morning I called all of my Uncles and my stepdad (BTW I bumped into his ain't shit daughter and the little girl about broke my heart the way she was clinging to me with desperation and all anxious, I didn't cross more than a few words with her negligent ass cause I didn't feel like having to tell her about HER FATHER'S HEALTH on father's day and cause she's a piece of shit and she would have turned up the dramatics right there in the store and fucked Wall Street's Father day with her bullshit) I called him and had nice words with him in the morning, expressed my thanks to my Uncle Ramon for being so awesome and fixing my sink, then called Tia Sa's hubby and talked shoes with him, then spoke to my Ain't Shit Uncle Asshole, he cussed me up a little bit as customary then Called Uncle White and Tia Lusy, he was SUPER DUPER happy I called him, then I had bought portobello Mushrooms to start trying out other alternatives for me, and he was all like don't go to the Whole Foods without us, Ok??!? Please please, why don't you come here and I make you some Mediterranean style Mushrooms?? (is so rare when he cooks, but he truly is awesome!) why don't you come with us to the beach??: now THAT was sweet and rare, my fam tends to call me when they want something or whatever but not some chill out the blue plans like that!

He made me awesome food, loved it, he got all red when I hugged him and later Binks called, and then we went to the beach with tia lusy the girls and a million beers and had us an awesome time, then we swung by to see my grandparents (it was both their birthdays, they have the same name in male and female and they are like 8 years apart, Mama is older)

Then in an effort to keep me away from dealing with mami they told me they'd drop me and start horn honking and acting aggravated in 5 minutes (since she had started calling and being a pain, but also telling me Binks had sent me something for my birthday... July 3rd Hollah! I ain't telling Nobody but Jesus and you guys that I'm off froom Thursday to Monday... I almost want to call Weezy to get me some good cockage for my birthday... Yeeessss) ... and This worked like a charm and guess what?? Binks sent me a Big bright Striped Maxidress prefect for beach cover up duty with a matching yellow bracelet since I always mentioned I loved her accessories (all the more touching cause the same thing that happened to me a few months back with my purse and cards being stolen, happened to her on Father's day, with the new red purse we got her :( she can't catch a fucking break) ... The best part wasn't that the best part was that I got the sweetest card ever from her, like saying I was the coolest sister and that although we've had our ups and downs she is happy I always forgive her and love her and give her everything I possibly can :_( and both the kids made scribbles in the card for me, I loved it so much I'm carrying it on my purse for a while before putting it back in my cards drawer ( I wish she wouldn't live in such a "guilt oriented" environment cause really I do love her and the little old past bullshit is just that, she is my sister I'd do ANYTHING for her, including hoping her kids turn goths or true little rebels so they can open her heart and understanding even forcibly!), she also attached this
How fucking cute is she?? she looks exactly like my sister as a kid it really melts my spirit!??!


Then yesterday The most fucked up of coincidences: well, see: The Drink date (which was the super tall guy that I had a good couple drinks with has been aimlessly texting me like just to shoot the shit, whatever, I'm not pressed in any sort of way whatsoever.... then the Spaniard had sort of left me alone and that was nice, right? all after I sort of didn't reply to something via I.m

Well yesterday this cute guy contacted me (Holla Plentyoffish, doing my dating pre-screening for moi) and in the process of talking we gather that: he is coming to live to Florida in the next 2 weeks, was in Stanford doing a Masters in finances and he is relocating due to work to here and he was asking me all types of location related questions, it was more on a friends vibe but then he goes: I am going to take you to dinner so don't get a boyfriend before July 19, cause I think it's NUTS you don't have one


BWAHAHAHHAhHAHAHAHAH for some reason that was super cute to me, and oh he's spent the past two days chatting me up on and on, and asking some hard shit like why am I single if I'm clearly smart and beautiful and shit ....at the moment he is in a quick trip to Madrid to bring more of his stuff stateside and he seems short to me or whatever about my height (me and Mia had a discussion about this: I explained to her that for me short guys scream of physically inferior to me as such I don't really get to concentrate on sex with them) but in need of friends but also nice, super polite, had stories and shit, right cool?...

He is from Spain

Same name as the other guy

Who then MAGICALLY also appeared on my messenger, making conversation... and Jeez he is SO NICE I mean fuck I could keep him as a friend, right??? ACK! we start softball shit like how are you and did you go to the beach this weekend and so on, right? ( did I tell you he is 27?) anywhoosie, so then he goes: "Oh you must have a nice dark skin color right now (weird that he's say that cause Spaniard s are NOTORIOUSLY racist particular about skin colors and shit like that,**aside** me and Mia have managed to make calling a person Cuban , Spaniard a proper real life insult**) Listen I remember your birthday Is coming up and stuff so I was thinking that I'd like to hang out, you know before then

Um...................................................................................

.....................................Ok sure (SEE why can't my bitchass say NO?!!! Is the convo and the utter potential trouble Ugh I disgust me!, is also his pretty cute face which kinda makes me avoid the accent)

Then he goes Ok pretty girl: what would you like a regular date (dinner and a movie) or a trip to the Keys??

WHAAATTTTTTTT Damn Boy! wow just wow!

But we like him, don't we, he is nice enough and tender and prolly easily brushed off ( oh why I told Leogoddes that I was too through with my own dumbass and would I date a Cuban and a Klu klux Klan member next week and this heffa tells me to: Take a picture with the pointy hat on to report to her what it looks like???. I want to beat her ass!)

also yesterday Mia Had the BESTTTTT Joke I've read In a Minute:




There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in death.


BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

This morning though: I got monsooned on before work, spike refused to go out and it looked like this... I'm so awesome that I had forgotten my Umbrella in the car and I had to get out with a towel and my heels in my hands! Horribleness


Ben Harper is great on rainy days like this


Ben Harper- Excuse me Mr: Love this song and this Band (Innocent Criminals) even though now he is with Resteless 7 and he seems to be having an awesome time of that


Ben Harper-Please Bleed: that voice, those lyrics, him, this is one of my fave of his *swoon* if he turned out to be a Chris Brown Type of douchebag That would be really devastating


Ben Harper - Sexual Healing Cover: Slow smoldering fire, stays supertrue to Marvin's Original spirit of that joint


Ben Harper - Waiting on an Angel: Love this one, oldie but goodie

Ben Harper- Morning Yearning

But don't be fooled by his sweet side, Daddy can rock out with his cock out


Ben Harper - Faded: when he did Live from Mars he makes a WICKED cover of Led Zeppelin's A whole Lotta Love AMAZING!


Oh GOd Pasty and I are bantering as always and then he goes you are my favorite Q, you know in another lifetime we'd have us some of each other

I go: Boy Stop: if you were single, had some sun and 20 pounds on you just cause you are a sarcastic little shit I might! (what was I supposed to tell him, No cause you look like you could inhale a cock or two?? plus no really I've grown to love the bastard, we are going to the movies Thursday with his mini wife and I'm sure someone he'll try to dump on me)